Episode 67: Mapping Your Dream Move with Cha Jones

In this episode of "Wellness in Every Season," host Autumn Carter welcomes Cha Jones, an emotional intelligence coach who brings a unique perspective to living a fulfilling life.

 Cha, an advocate for designing a "softer life," shares insights into assisting those burnt out from the hustle of life and seeking new paths, whether abroad or within their current environment. With a rich background in business, intercultural communications, and international education, Cha also taps into human design to guide individuals towards their optimal life. 
As a mother and recent single parent, Cha discusses balancing motherhood, entrepreneurship, and personal growth, embodying the essence of a multipotentialite—flourishing across various disciplines and continuously embracing new learning opportunities. 

This episode delves into the power of small, intimate connections and the personal recharge required by those who may appear extroverted but cherish their introverted nature, highlighting the complexities and joys found in embracing one's multifaceted personality.

Follow her here:

Website:  www.chajones.com
Podcast:  www.lifesavacay.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/chajones
www.facebook.com/authorchajones
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chajones
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@chajones 

For more wellness tips and exclusive content, join my newsletter! Sign up now at wellness-in-every-season.ck.page and receive a free 5-day guide called "Awaken and Unwind: 5 Days to Mastering Moms Life's Mornings and Evenings." Plus, you'll get free guides, special offers on my programs, practical tips, personal stories, and so much more. Don't miss out on these valuable resources designed to help you thrive as a mom and as an individual. Join today and start your journey to wellness in every season!

Transcript

Intro: 

“This is Episode 67”

[Music]

"Welcome to 'Wellness in Every Season,' the place where we explore the rich tapestry of motherhood and wellness in all its forms. I'm Autumn Carter, your host and guide. “

[Music]

Autumn:  Welcome to Wellness in Every Season. Today I have with me Cha Jones and she is somebody who I connected with through a mutual group that we're in and I will let her further introduce herself and what she's going to be talking to us about.

Cha: Sure. Hello, everyone. My name is Cha Jones, and I'm an emotional intelligence coach with a twist because I actually help people who are wanting to live abroad and or create and design a softer life.

Those people who have been hustling and trying to figure out what it is that they want to do in life, and they're burnt out and ready to redefine how they're living. Doesn't mean that you have to live abroad, but because I have lived abroad and have created an international lifestyle, so to speak, then I also help people  and that's like my background, my college degree is in business and I have a master's in intercultural communications and.

International education. So I combined all those things and I also use human design to help people figure out like their best life. But I'm also a mother and I have learned How to cope in life, having a small child have a four year old now and I have recently become a single mom. So I've learned how to juggle that as well as being a business owner and being a support system for other people.

So that's a little bit about who I am.

Autumn: So many nuggets there. It sounds like you have a lot of passions and you combined all of them together so that you are working in your passions. 

Cha: Definitely. I'm a multi potential light. And that just means for people who have never heard that word is that I'm a jack of trade, not a master of any.

And I love that because I can vacillate between many different things. And I have learned to master certain things and I've become an expert in certain aspects. However I can Shifts easily from one thing to another, and I'm a quick learner. That's the great part, is that I learn things quickly.

I use them to my ability. I teach them, and then I go to the next thing, learn something different. It makes life interesting.

Autumn: I was just gonna say that. And it sounds like you, you connect with a lot of different people because of it. I was just thinking conversations, you'd be the one that I would want to talk to in a room.

Cha: I love it. Yes. But the funny thing is I'm an introvert, so I don't really like being in the room. But I have learned how to step out into the world  and people always assume that I'm an extrovert because once I'm out and I'm like lit up, then I have to come back and rejuvenate and go into my little hole.

I feel like Renee Brown, like once I'm on stage, I'm great. And then I'm like, okay, no people.

Autumn: I am helping another coach with her bio. And she says something that is yes, I'm that she is an extroverted introvert. And she likes groups of three or less, like no more than groups of three. And I'm like, that is me.

I'm soft spoken. I always have to crank up the microphone and then cut out all the background noise. Cause I'm so soft spoken that in real life, if there's more than three people, no one can hear me. I can't add anything to the conversation. It definitely resonate with that. And I've done workshops afterwards.

Go ahead.

Cha: No, I was just gonna say, I love small groups because I'm energized and for me, it's personal I  like building relationships. I'm a community builder, right? And so I want to know who you are. I want to know what makes Autumn special. Shine and how can I help Adam, right? And how can I like pour inside them?

And so that's who I am as a person. And so when you have 50 people in a room, like you can't, it's a whole lot of noise and you really can't see or hear people authentically, but when you're in a smaller group, I can read you. I can be like, she's not, she's holding something back. So. Intuitively, I can't hear all that in a room with 50, 30 people, right?

I can only hear that if I'm like

Autumn: connecting

Cha: with you one on

Autumn: one. So it sounds like you're the type of person who will call somebody out lovingly, hopefully, on their BS. Definitely. I'm

Cha: like,

That doesn't really sound right to me. So let me, if I don't know you, then I'm like that's  weird. Let me keep asking questions, you know?

So the close comes in and I'm like, That's not a question. Let me, because that's not really resonate with me. But if I know you, I'm like, okay, so let's just be clear about this.

Autumn: And there's so many times we haven't updated our own maps that it's like, oh, I said something that used to be true, but actually that's not anymore.

I've had that where I go back in the conversation, I'll text them afterwards and be like, I said this and I realize that's not true anymore. So, huh, there's that.

Cha: And that's a great point because we're always evolving. And it's funny because a lot of times people want to go back to where they met you at versus where you're currently at.

And we're constantly evolving. I'm not the person I was yesterday. So let's loan the person I met you at. It was like, I'm not her anymore. And so it's our job to inform people that we have grown. But it's also their job to  allow you to grow without any expectation on their behalf.

Autumn: Ooh, let's go there for a second, because when you were talking, I was thinking about families, how your family, you grew up in as this person, you were this number of children, this was your role.

You were kind of given a role and then you filled it growing up, right? And you go out in the real world and you discover who you are, and then you go back to your family if you go and visit them. After you've lived your life, you go visit for a holiday, and they expect you to go back in that role. And that can be very uncomfortable on both sides.

Let's talk about your take on that.

Cha: Absolutely. We have time. We do. So I know this experience firsthand. So I've always considered myself the black sheep of a family, so I didn't necessarily fit in on either side. And there has always been an expectation of  something for me or for my life or how I show up.

And so oftentimes whether it's going back to, from college or moving to the next place. And I've moved a lot of, you know, I went off to college, I then came home, then I moved My job moved me to Arizona, then I stayed there for a while, then I moved, so I was constantly moving.

And for me, it didn't even click until I first moved abroad, right? I moved abroad and when I came back, I wasn't aware that there was this thing called repatriation. Which definitely just means that when a person goes to live abroad and then they come home, the assumption is you're going back somewhere, right?

And so when you go back, it's familiar, but it's not. So when you repatriate, you go to a place that is familiar to you because you've been there before, but you're  not the same nor are the people that are there the same. And so it causes a huge because it's like having a mental breakdown because you're not the same.

You're expecting other people to see the difference in you, but then you also have to see the difference in them and they shifted and maybe they shifted a little, maybe they shifted a lot, but you have had all these experiences and then you're coming home. And when I realized that in grad school, I was like, there's this thing called repatriation.

Not only have we done this multiple times in our life, you repatriate all the time. So when you went off to college and you came home and your friends, you were like, I've known them all my life. Why are we not connecting anymore? Because you're different. They're different. You grew apart because you had different life experiences.

And you're trying to hold on to an old memory that doesn't exist  anymore. Then you go off and then maybe you get married, you have children and you're constantly changing. Then you're going back somewhere and you're expecting people to meet you where you are. If that person or those people weren't growing at the same, be the light or in those same experiences, then it's not an equal match anymore.

And so you have to relearn each other. And if the relationship is valuable enough, your parents, then there'll be some shifting and some adjustments that make good sense. If that relationship is over and it's time for you to move on, then you'll shift. And they'll shift and you'll move on. So it's almost like that, the saying that reason sees in her lifetime, the people come into your life.

And I used to say that all the time and didn't really understand that. There are reasons, there are situations that these are my forever people, these are my temporary  people. And these are the people that I'm just going to transition. We know, just as I'm processing through life. And so it's interesting.

But family always, because you feel like these are my people, like we have bloodlines and they've known me forever. But some of them are seasonal as well. And they're not meant to constantly be in your life. And so that's where you have those rifts. And I don't see eye to eye with these individuals. And it can be difficult because those are what you would consider your tribe, your life tribes.

And they'll expect you to be a certain way because They identified you at a certain point in your life, and that's what they're holding on to. We're not we're constantly changing, and we're not gonna be the same people that we came into the world, and that should be expected, and that's what I think more people need to  understand.

Autumn: I thought of two different things, actually three, but one of them you said. The different, there's a season, there's a lifetime, there's a transitional, I never thought of it that way. I've never heard it that way, and it totally. That makes sense. And then you covered family members, how sometimes they are also seasonal.

I resonate with that because I've had family members like that. And some families had that old notion of, well, they're family. I'm sorry, you're abusive. I don't care. Goodbye. Definitely. Here's my boundary. You have been crossing them this whole time by my own mental health and my own growth. You are stunting all of that.

And I'm not going to perpetuate it by having my children involved. Nope. Bye. And then, so I was thinking about books even. Have you ever gone to pick up a book that you've read before, and you, it resonates so differently with you? The book is the same, but  you're different. And I thought about that when you started, again, when you started talking about how sometimes people haven't really changed, but you have.

And how there's that difference. And there's a beauty in reconnecting with friends. And realizing, oh, we've both grown in different ways. Let's see if we can connect on these ways and allowing this chance to learn. And that's what I really like about hosting these podcasts and interviewing other people is there's so many things that people will start to mention.

I'm like, I'm going to take a quick note of that. And I'm going to research that later. Cause I thought it really interesting. So I forget what the other thing was. Oh, come back later. Can you talk to us a little bit about human design? I've heard it mentioned, my mentor has mentioned it, and I've dug in a little bit, and it's so amazing, and because you know more, I want you to be able to share this with the audience because I will bumble that along.

Cha: Definitely. So, there is a thing called human  design, and human design is a modality I guess to say that you can create a chart based on your human design. And so if you're familiar with astrology, you would use your date of birth on the time of birth to actually create the chart. And there are five different prototypes, so to speak, of humans that We fall into.

So you have the manifester and those are the people who are like fire starters. They, I have an idea. I take off. I run. Then you have manifesting generators and they're like a hybrid. They have that ability to take something and run with it. But then they also are generators. So they have to check in with their gut.

And say, is that really what I want to do? So I'll  give you an example. Let's say I decided, okay, today I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna go running. So I'm like, yes, I'm ready. I put on everything. I get to the door and my gut is like, don't run. And then you're like, nah, I did it. But you have to check in with your gut to be like, that's not really a good Generators are the same.

So generators. They need to check in with their gut before they make a decision. So they're,

Autumn: wait, go back and say generators. It cut out right there. So start that part of the sentence.

Cha: Yes. So generators are the same. So the manifesting generators are hybrids between the manifesting and the manifestor and the generator.

Then you have the generator, which still has to, it doesn't have the initiating aspect where like the manifestor can take off and run. The generator has to check in and say, okay, is this something I'm feeling? So you always want to go to your  sacral and. Question that and then move forward. Then you have a projector.

Those are the seers, right? And so with projectors, they still need to embody other people to get things done. And so they're constantly checking in before they float and do anything. And so they can become very tired. So they rest a lot. Then the last one is the. Reflector. They're like the shape shifters.

They're constantly shifting in and out. But they also can't just manifest things, right? They still need to embody other people. And there is a the energy that they use Is to shift things within. And so you have these different types of people who are showing up and you're looking at like,  how do I show up and how do I use the energy of other people?

So what I realized at one point is that all my friends were manifesting generators and we couldn't figure out why we couldn't make projects work, right? Because we needed reflectors. We needed projectors. We needed generators. And when things aren't working, if you start looking at the people that are around you and why things aren't shifting or working then you can see, oh, I lack this aspect.

Because in my human design, I need certain things to happen in someone else's human design. They need certain things to happen. So you want to have people that can run with the project. You want people who need to be able to sit with the project and then get it done. You need people who are responding to the situation.

So when you have the, you can create teams that way. And so when you start looking at human design, you can fill in the gaps of what am I  lacking and what do I need? And I think it makes for a great tool to help you assess where you are and what you need and how to flow with other people.

Autumn: And is this something that you do within your practice with your clients?

Cha: Yeah, so what I do is I look at people's human design to help them figure out where they are. So, for instance, if they're manifesting, it's easier to work with them because you're like, okay, you have an idea and you can just run with it, right? But then if you look at their human design, you can also look at, like, what careers they would probably be better at.

You can also look at what blockages they have because we all have blockages. We all have lines that are not complete in our human design. And so even though this person may be a manifestor and can take a project and run with it,  and from thought to empathy, right? Bye! They also may lack certain aspects.

And so if you look at their human design, you can say, okay, there's, this is what you need. And then help them figure out how to get there. And then that makes it complete. And then they can move forward. And so for me, like when I'm dealing with people who want a softer life and they're trying to operate outside of their human design, it's easier to look at their human design and say, okay, well, the reason this is probably not working for you, not to say you can't have it or work towards that.

The reason why it's not working for you is because you're missing these pieces, and you're operating like a generator or you're operating like a manifesto, and you need to wait and pause, and you need to think about, Who you need or what you need to be doing and actually does it feel good to you before you move forward and that helps them kind of make shifts in their life.

Autumn: So it sounds like you are helping them to get more in tune with their body themselves. Correct.

Cha: I look at it like, this is being authentic to who you really are. And a lot of times we're operating outside of our own authenticity. We're trying to do what, like we talked about family, right? So your family may say, Oh, we want you to be a doctor.

Right? And you have all this creativity and you draw and you dance and you do all these different things that don't make you a good doctor, but anybody can study something and grind and put their head down and become whatever it is that, is put before them. But is that right for you? And is that.

healthy for you? Is that making you happy? And are you showing up authentically to do the things that you have been empowered and blessed to do in this lifetime?

Autumn: And that reminds me of  a few generations ago where it was about grinding. It was living in that scarcity mindset. And you're just trying to make that paycheck and you're just trying to get through until you retire.

And then you can go and do the thing that really lights you up. And it's like, well, can't you have both? What if we got you both now so that by the time you're retirement age your body and your mind aren't giving out on you because you have been fighting against the tide this whole time of what you naturally are aligned for.

So I really like that you're talking about that. Here is my question with human design. Is this is It's something that you can tell by astrology. Does that have to do with gravitational pulls as to why you are designed that way? Or what is the thought process behind that? And I can edit this out if you really don't know.

So I

Cha: don't know that part  of it. I do know that it's using because there's several different modalities is using your chakras. It's using the astrology aspect of it. It's also using I Ching. So there's different modalities that are all encompassing in the human design. So your birth placement is using like the time that you came into the world.

And what was actually happening within that particular time. So we all know that, you could be a twin and be minutes or a moment apart and be totally different. That's because we don't share the same design. For everybody, right? There's no other person that has your same design. They may have your human design in the tight, but you're going to have different lines that connect within your body to make you differently.

Same thing with astrology. There are just, you could be a, Second part. And you're going to  have a different astrology chart than the person that came in the same room and was born one second after you because you're your own person. And so I think with human design. You're looking at all of these things that bring forward this one person and how their makeup is and the things that they will struggle with, the things that they need to learn, the things that they need to do to show up authentically and bringing it all together.

Autumn:mentioned at the beginning that I wanted to dive into, but I'll have to listen to the recording. Tell you what it was, what topic were we supposed to speak on in general? I thought it was living abroad. You talked about living softly and being a mother and balancing life.

I think,  which, which avenue do you want to go down?

Cha: We can talk about. It's creating a soft life and living abroad and so I have a brand called Likes to Vacay.

Autumn: What do you most want to promote?

Cha: Let's promote the Likes to Vacay because I'm moving into the YouTube world and will be showing more of my life because I'm about to move to another country in a week.

Autumn: Wow, where are you moving? Malaysia. Wow, what is drawing you there?

Cha: Actually I was moving to Thailand and then I realized that the visa is gonna be an issue because I have a child that's gonna need to go to school and I don't wanna have to do 90 days here and there. And so That's pretty much, and I'm into astropathology, which basically tells you where you're supposed to move based off of the things that you want to attract into your life.

And my spot  is in Thailand, but it will cover into Malaysia. So I'll get the best of both worlds. Explain this more. Yeah. So basically, if you look at your astrology, Based off of when you came into the world, you can also determine key things about your life, like as far as movement and placement.

So, for instance, on your Zenith line you can look at like the best places for you to live, let's say like Venus. I'm a Taurus. And so it was ruled by Venus. And my the best place for me to live is like in a mountain area. I don't I like water, , but it's being able to be elevated. And then also, like, if you look at my chart, my zenith line for Venus is in Ang Mai Thailand.

Never would have thought that but in that area, all  things that deal with Venus, which is beauty luxury ease. Event planning, creativity, anything that has to do with beauty and making life better, right? So if you are trying to attract, maybe you want love in your life, then you would go to your Venus line.

If you want Jupiter, if you want money, you want to attract money, you want to go somewhere where your Jupiter line has a great influence. If you're trying to do shadow work or figure out like, Why you do what you do. You would go to a line maybe with Chiron. So based off of every planet that's in your chart, there are places that you can go that can attract or make it more advantageous for you in your life.

And I normally pull charts for people. I have a software system I can plug you in and it will give  you like, if this is a temporary place for you, if this is actually a place that you want to live and have some longevity in it will tell you like what's going to happen. It also tells you different aspects of like, I can look at one chart and it will only tell me like, okay this falls on your Venus line or this falls on Jupiter or Mercury or whatever.

Okay. And this is what the aspects will be for that particular place. I can look at the chart and anybody can go do that. You can do that freely on line, but I have a system where I can plug in everything and it will tell me the other aspects. So, this may be our team is taking control of this particular area, but there are 3 other planets that are going to have to figure it out too.

So, we may be planning a science on how we're going to solve this. But then also, it may have Mercury, or it may have Mars, it may have Jupiter or these may be floating planets  that The audio got weird again.

Autumn: So it's like two sentences back. Where you're saying, and also it does this, that's where it goes.

Cha: So it also will tell you different aspects. If a planet is going to float in for temporary, or they're going to have a more long like longevity in that particular area. So it may be like a couple of years. So they'll have it'll have aspects of that particular planet for a certain amount of time.

And so I can tell you if that affects you living there. For instance, I looked up a place let's say, When I thought about living in Columbia, Columbia is on the line that I had that has a part of Venus has a part of Jupiter, but it also has Mars aspect. Mars is a fighting planet. So you'll have more struggles and competitions and strife.

 Sometimes people want to be in that energy where you got fight to get to the next level or you're fighting for business competition. So if that's what you want to draw in, then you accept that. But you can fill those energies in the Particular places based off of where you move. And sometimes you want to know why, like, why is things not working here?

You're not in the right place to energetically do the thing that you're trying to do. Why are you not attracting the right person into your life or a relationship? You want to be married. You're living in an area that is. Contrary to what it is that you're trying to bring forward in your life.

Autumn: Wow, this is so interesting. And I think people who aren't, who don't know about these theories, they can feel it within themselves. Sometimes they're like, I just need to move. I just need to have this huge shift. And there, I think  there is a very subconscious, Knowing, if we're really in tune with our bodies of, okay, this is where I need to be.

And you don't know why. And then maybe you look into something like this and it's like, Oh, okay. I get it now. What do you say to people who are like that, that don't really have the belief in this or the knowledge of this and speak to them?

Cha: I've learned long time ago. I'm not convincing anybody. Like you have your own beliefs, your own path.

We all have our own beliefs and paths that we sign up for. And I signed up for what I signed up for, right? And it works for me. And so if you believe something else, like, you have a lot of people who are religious based and they only believe what a doctrine has told them, and that's all that they're willing to accept.

I'm okay with that because I don't have a hell or  having to put you in. And I can only say what I know for me, what spiritually has guided me, what has worked for me, I've proven methods that I can implement. And it actually has turned out to be whatever it is I needed to be. So. I go with that. And then I attract the right people into my life who believe the same things or something similar and who are open to the life or lifestyle that I have.

And same thing for if somebody is super religious, you're going to attract those people. You attract who you are. And so I don't live under the idea that you should try to convince people. I'm not here to convert anybody. I'm not here to tell people you should look at this because they should look at what resonates for them.

Go where you are received and you will be happy. I believe that. 

Autumn: So maybe it's more. Have you considered this type of a thing? The other thing that you reminded me earlier you attract who you are, how do you attract who you want to become and how do you prevent that kind of echo chamber so that you have the opportunity to consider other thoughts, other ideas, other experiences.

Cha: So there's this thing called jumping or astral projecting into different dimensions. And, that's a whole nother story. But when people really want to shift from where they are, so let's say I'm tired. Of doing the same thing that I wanted, that I'm doing now, then I can look at what it is like a template of a person that's similar to where I want to be.

So let's say I'm, I've been dressing like a mom and, I have my joggers on, my yoga pants and, not really fresh, yet.  Now I'm coming into a place where maybe my children are growing up and I don't necessarily have to give them all of my time. And so now I may want to say reconnect with people, right?

And have more friend, adult friend relationships. Or go to brunch or whatever. So that person looks different, right? You don't go to brunch and, have a nice cocktail in your yoga pants unless, you're with some close friends and y'all just came from the gym, right? So you're going to start looking like the person that shows up to brunch.

What does she look like? What's she wearing? Where is she dining? What's she eating? So you start thinking about this individual. I want to show up as this person. I'm the brunch gal now and I'm gonna have my little sundress on. I may have some kitten heels. I may have some high heels. What is it that you want to look like?

What do you smell like? How do you show up?  And then you start looking those at those attributions and you. Move towards that. You see it first, then you start thinking about the five senses. What's that person smell like? What's that person look like? What, how is that person indulging in the food that they're eating?

Whatever it is. So you get that visual, you get the idea of that person, and then you write the characteristics down. And then you embody that, and eventually it will start to morph. At first it may feel like, I am an imposter, I'm lying to myself, I am comfortable in these yoga pants, I like the throw up that's on my t shirt, and I'm okay with that.

Autumn: Wait a second, who likes to throw up on their shirt? I was feeling you with the yoga pants, but then you went there.

Cha: Your mind will tell you anything. Your mind will be like, you know what, it's too much effort to change this shirt. Just wipe it off and keep it moving.  Or it's just too much effort to have to take a shower, get all dolled up and go somewhere, right?

It's easier to be complacent and in the place that you are because you're comfortable, right? And those jungle pants, let's just be real, they're so comfortable. Nobody wants to get out of them.

Autumn: So I, I was, I'm reading a book for a book club for coaches and It talks about this, about how the known is so much easier because it's known. Where when we're stepping out into unknown, it's like we're walking that plank on the pirate ship, and we don't know, Oh, there's actually no water under there.

Actually, it's a soft landing, or whatever. It's really hard to go into that unknown, even though what is known and where we're at is painful and uncomfortable and all these negative emotions, but there's that positive of, well, it's known. I know what to expect. So I really  like that you spoke about that.

Cha: It makes me think about the dog that's on the porch, sitting on a nail and, with all this whining because they're on this nail and you're why don't you just get off the net? Like the dog.

But they're comfortable and when they're tired of that nail hurting and having that agonizing pain, eventually they'll get up, but sometimes you don't get it from, you don't get from the pain. To the rest of the resolution, because you've become accustomed to the nail pain. You're accustomed to laying there, hollering and yelling and being the victim.

So there are a lot of times there are people who haven't changed their life and they're like two seconds from greatness. They got comfortable in this place and they're complacent and it's easier to  stay complacent than to say, you know what, I'm going to make this shift because I'm two steps away from my breakthrough, knowing the right people, going to the right places, pitching the right, business proposal, whatever it is.

I'm two seconds from that, but I'm going to stay right here because it doesn't require me to do anything, doesn't require any effort of me. So I'll be here until whenever, but then the moment I'm tired and the moment I'm like, you know what? This is hell. I don't want to do this anymore. Then you get up, you take a shower, you put the right clothes on, you go out into the world and guess what?

It didn't kill you. You know what? I can do this. I'm confident that I can take those two more steps and all as well. And then you shift into the next stage and then you're able to move forward. But a victim stay where they are because it's easy and then they can blame  everybody else.

Autumn: It's so true. And there's I was listening to a podcast by Michael Neal. I don't know if you ever heard of him, but he was talking about how he is in love with the word actually, is this actually what you want? Is it actually this way? And it's true. And I've been thinking about that since I listened to it.

And there's so much with that. Is this I'm not sure if that's actually the way it is, or is this just our perception? Is this just what we're saying to ourselves, to our in laws, actually not like us or, we can use it anywhere.

Cha: We were just talking about relationships earlier. Yeah, it's the stuff that we tell ourselves, right?

You just continue to re emphasize the story. You got hurt when you were a teenager. And, that pain comes up every now and again. You always go back to that one story. Oh, I got hurt and that's the reason I do this. Is it actually? Do you think you do it? Or is it the excuse that you want to use because it's comfortable  and it doesn't allow, it does not make you accountable for what you're permanently doing?

Autumn: If you scoot that way, your microphone picks up. Oh,

Cha: this way?

Autumn: Yeah, I figured out when it is. So you have to be comfortable on that side. Okay.

Cha: So, yeah, I think a lot of people, use their negative stories to allow them to continue to do the things that they're doing because it doesn't make them accountable.

They don't have to be accountable for their actions.

Autumn: Wow that's very powerful. So we are out of time, but let's quickly talk about There, there's a lot of discomfort that could happen from traveling internationally and living internationally or abroad, but it allows you this chance to redefine yourself and to get to know other cultures in a way that is, allows you to  question your beliefs.

What else do you find in the allure and has drawn you to coaching people who are ready to take those steps?

Cha: Yeah, so travel can do a lot of things because you get to really find out who you are. So oftentimes, if you're going to a place you've never been before, you have no, you could read books and you can, look at YouTubes and, but until you actually put your foot on the ground and have the experience yourself, you have no idea what is going to come of it.

Again, there can be challenges. What are you willing to learn from the challenges? There could be faux PAs, there could be all kinds of, I remember living in Korea and I had a really bad experience on a subway. And Korean culture is you supposed to respect elders. You supposed to give up your seat if the elder comes onto the  subway and there aren't any more seats.

Just different things that there's an expectation of. Now, if you don't understand the culture, then you wouldn't know, but if something happens to you, you have to look at like, where was I culturally and what happened? Did it happen to me or was it just a cultural thing? And I wasn't really aware of the cultural aspects, right?

I happen to have known the cultural aspects and I was on an empty subway where there was maybe eight people. So there was plenty of seats. And basically the man came up to me and just put his finger and he said something in Korean. It was very harsh. So I had no idea what he said, but he then hits me.

And I was like, and raised because I really wanted to punch him because you hit me, right? And I was doing absolutely nothing. And so it took everything in me to just sit with that. And just try to understand from his perspective. I didn't know if  it was because, cause in your head, you can be like, cause I'm a black woman in Korea, maybe because I'm dressed a certain way or because, he doesn't think that foreigners should be in the country or whatever, I could 50, 000 different things to excuse why he was acting the way he did.

But I was hurt in that moment. And so I think traveling gives you an upfront. It's an invitation to learn different things, see different things and know them for yourself. It's one thing for you to turn the television on and somebody tell you over in Russia, this is how they feel about you, or this is what's going on over there until you go there and you see for yourself, that's really not how they feel about this.

I've met 50 people and they didn't feel that way about it. They accepted me. They embraced me. They brought me into their home. They fed me all these different things. But you wouldn't know that if you went off of propaganda and somebody telling you, this is how  people from this particular place feel. So I think travel does that for you.

Travel also teaches you like your own personal boundaries. Like you get to learn, am I really that person? Or is that the person that I thought I was? And so you get,

I could go blinding. Zip lines not for me, right? Or did I really think I should jump off into this ocean and do these things? So you kind of learn like what are your own personal boundaries? I think it also helps you if you're traveling with someone it will definitely help you understand and define your relationship Because you get to know like really How people think, how they act how they're going to react to different things.

So I think travel opens up a lot of different things. And I would tell anybody that I'm working with or going to work with to sit down and really define the life that they want, really understand the experiences. They want, what are you  open to? What are you close to? What are you willing to push beyond?

Because. Whether you're just going on a vacation or you're changing your life. Now, when you're moving abroad, it's a little bit more in depth because you can't just get off the plane, have an experience and then be like me on the subway and be like I'm packing up and I'm leaving. I literally lived it.

So I couldn't just I'm mad at the Koreans. It was one Korean. I don't know what he was on that day. I don't know what his experiences were with foreigners. I don't know. It's a whole lot of unknowns. And so I think if you're planning on moving, I think you should really be clear about the experience that you want to have.

And then look at the positives. of what's going to happen or what could happen or what this experience could bring you, and then move forward and let go of your fears, let go of what people are telling you, let go of your own  expectations, and then allow the journey to occur.

Autumn: I think it allows for the opportunity to undo some of your biases that you have. Some of your, the ones that you, from the culture you grew up in. So it was really interesting to have you talk on that. And I'm wondering if you just, that is his like preferred seat. And he's like, if you weren't a foreigner, you would know that this is my seat.

I have no idea,

Cha: but I've just been him like.

Autumn: But that's the story that you're telling yourself using Brene's round speech. Which I really love that whole concept of this is the story I'm telling myself. These are the facts. So it sounds like your ideal client is somebody who wants a major change in their life and is willing to do what it takes.

They are possibly very stuck. They're not  around the correct energies and they are willing to have an amazing adventure in their life and you will be their guide for that.

Cha: Definitely. I used to have the slogan, you know, I will help you get from where you are to where you want to be. And you don't necessarily use that slogan anymore, but the same, it applies that I really want you to step into your own authenticity, whatever that is for you, you define it.

I just help you hone it. And I work with people who are ready. To shift their perspectives their understandings and their life and lifestyle to really truly show up as their truth in life.

Autumn: Sounds like this would be really ideal for somebody who has the opportunity to, through their company, move and they have different location offerings, or maybe they're stepping  into a new career and they can move wherever, have a job that is remote, or maybe they've lost their job so they have that blank slate again.

Instead of being in this place of scarcity and being scared and all of the negative parts, it's I get to have a new adventure. I have this blank slate. Let's fill it up. So you get to be kind of their vision board and help create with them. Maybe you're the one offering the different paints and okay, here you go.

Here are the different ideas and let's see what we can create together. That sounds awesome.

Cha: Absolutely. I do a lot of work with portrait pipe hunter companies that are moving people abroad to train them on the cultural aspects of it. But I tell people when you move, you take you with you. So I don't care if you're moving abroad or if you're staying where you are, if you want to shift,  you start with you.

You have to start with your perspective, your thoughts. You have to redefine what that is for where you want to go. You have to have the vision of where you're going. So even if your company is moving you, if you have a piss poor attitude about the people that you're going to be living around, you need to change that and shift before you get there.

Otherwise, that assignment's not going to be great. And international assignments are normally one to two to three to five years. So that's a long time to be stuck in misery, right? And then if you are individual and you don't want to travel, that's fine. But what about you that you don't like right now that you need to shift?

And that's who I work with. Anybody wanting to shift and change their life and they're not happy with where they currently are, if they want to get somewhere else, let's start with you. Let's Look at who you are, let's look at where you want to be, and then let's fill in the gaps so that we can  get there, so you can design your life to be anything that you want, and you can go anywhere you want, but you don't have to actually physically move to have a transformation.

Autumn: Ooh, so they can get unstuck. Sounds good.

Cha: Unstuck. How you...

Autumn: Where can they find you?

Cha: My website is www do cha jones. That's C-H-A-J-O-N-E s.com. I also have a podcast where I talk about lifes life of vacay, where I talk to people who are blurring the line between work and play. So that's you can go to my website, vacate.com, or you can go to anywhere that you can listen to podcasts and.

Find my podcast, but go to my website. I have a 30 minute discovery call where I talk to people to see if it's a good fit. Cause I'm not for everybody. I don't even try to describe to be that. But I do want to help everybody and maybe I'm not the coach, but I can recommend the coach for you.

Autumn: Sounds  perfect.

Thank you so much for being on with us and for allowing me to learn. And I know there will be amazing nuggets for everybody else, but I know for me personally, I learned a bunch and it was amazing. And I was able to ask some questions that I haven't thought to ask my mentor about human design. So I now understand it better after researching it on my own, hearing her talk about it, reading her blog posts about it.

Just there's always something about hearing somebody else's perspective and hearing it from several different people on the same topic to, okay, I can see it more in 3d now instead of 2d. And I think that is the same with coaching that we're able to help people see their blind spots, stuff that's holding them back that they don't even realize.

these beliefs that they've had, these past experiences that they've had that lead to these beliefs. So I'm excited for people to work with  you and to follow you on your journey from afar. But to still follow

Cha: Definitely. I do want to correct myself because I'm And I was talking so fast projectors, they do need to be invited.

So they need to be invited to the party. And so that's their waiting period. Unlike the generator. Yeah, the generator just needs to stop and check in with themselves to see if it's the right fit, but projectors need somebody to invite them even. And look up human design. I think it's great.

And this is something that you can. There are a lot of different websites where you can put in your chart. There's some books that will help redefine that. But Definitely a great modality and tool to use when you're trying to understand yourself a little bit more.

Autumn: And for people who are listening, who are also interested in it, if you're not a book person or YouTube person, you need somebody like real life to talk to you, schedule a 30 minute consult call with her.

She'd be happy to talk to you  about it and to explain more of what she does and see if you're a good fit. Definitely.

Cha: Autumn, it's been a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me on today. Thank you.

[Music]

Outro: 

Autumn: “Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode. I'm Autumn Carter, guiding you through motherhood's seasons. I hope today's discussion inspired you and offered valuable insights.

Stay connected with our motherhood wellness community by following me on Instagram at Moms Wellness in Every Season for more tips.

Your shares, subscriptions, and reviews help us reach more moms seeking empowerment, so please spread the word about our podcast.

If there's a particular topic you'd like to delve deeper into, or if you're considering coaching from me, I encourage you to join our newsletter. Simply visit wellnessineveryseason.com/freeresources to sign up. Your journey is important to us, and our newsletter is a great way to stay connected and informed.

Thank you for being part of our community. I look forward to continuing our conversation, sharing stories, and exploring wellness in all aspects of motherhood. Take care until our next episode.”

[Music]