Wellness In Every Season

Episode 140: When to Tip and When Not to

• Autumn Carter/ Prisca Benson • Season 1 • Episode 140

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When the tablet spins and the tip options stare back, it’s easy to feel that flush of guilt and confusion. In this episode, Autumn Carter sits down with money coach Prisca Benson to untangle when to tip, when not to, and how to make choices that align with your values and budget. Prisca traces the history of tipping in the U.S., explains why it became embedded in certain industries, and offers a clear, compassionate framework for deciding: Does this worker rely on tips, was real service provided, did they go above and beyond, and is it in your budget? Together, they talk through everyday gray areas—pickup orders, self-checkout, salons, delivery apps, hotels, even the car-wash conundrum—and why 20% remains a common benchmark in many service settings. You’ll learn simple ways to reduce decision fatigue, separate emotion from money, and plan ahead so generosity feels intentional instead of pressured.

Connect with Prisca Benson and explore her work: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ourgreenlifenj, LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prisca-j-benson, Work with Prisca: https://ourgreenlifenj.com/work-with-me/. Grab her free guide “Three Steps to Financial Freedom”: https://ourgreenlifenj.kit.com/freedomguide?utm_source=autumn-carter&utm_medium=podcast.

One last thing to cover the show legally. I am a certified life coach giving general advice. So think of this more like a self-help book. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. So this podcast shouldn't be taken as a replacement for professional guidance from my doctor therapist. Or any other qualified expert? If you want personal one-on-one coaching for my certified coach. Go to my website, wellness and every season.com. 

For more wellness tips and exclusive content, join my newsletter! Sign up now at wellness-in-every-season.ck.page and receive a free 5-day guide called "Awaken and Unwind: 5 Days to Mastering Life's Mornings and Evenings."

Episode 140: When to Tip and When Not to

[00:00:00] Introduction to Episode 140

[00:00:00]  Autumn Carter: This is episode 140. We are going to be talking about when to tip and when not to tip.

[00:00:11] Welcome to Wellness In Every Season, the podcast where we explore the rich tapestry of wellness in all of its forms. I'm your host, autumn Carter, a certified life coach, turn wellness coach, as well as a certified parenting coach dedicated to empowering others to rediscover their identity in their current season of life.

[00:00:30] My goal is to help you thrive, both as an individual and as a parent.

[00:00:34] Today I have with me Prisca Benson. I can go to somewhere like Panera and right there they just helped me for that quick second. And it's asking for a tip. This is not something that used to be the case. 

[00:00:51] I have gone to places where it's a solo business owner and at the end they go to charge me and there's an option to leave a [00:01:00] tip. And there's so many cases where this didn't used to be the way, especially if this is a solo business owner and several cases where yes, I know to tip in this area.

[00:01:13] I haven't realized I should tip here, type of situation that I've, been really coming across. So I reached out to my friend Prisca and she said a lot of other people are struggling with this too. I asked her, instead of making my own and doing the research, I decided to cheat and ask her to help us out here.

[00:01:32] Guest Introduction: Prisca Benson

[00:01:32]  Autumn Carter: So Prisca, can you give us a little bit of your background so that people know who you are, why you're the authority in this? Space. And then let's dive in from there. 

[00:01:41] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. So like Autumn said, my name is Ska Benson. I'm a money coach and I've been in the personal finance space since about 2018. And I love everything about learning about money more so to the simplicity and ease and making it not complicated, not stressful.

[00:01:58] With this topic because tipping [00:02:00] stress, a lot of people out. I'm a big fan of helping people developing their own values around money so that they can spend it according to those rather than what, just what society says. And so that's what we're gonna talk about today. 

[00:02:12]  Autumn Carter: See, now you know why I chose her right there.

[00:02:16] So you gave me a beautiful outline and I'm already gonna blow that off a little bit and not on purpose.

[00:02:24] Hi. 

[00:02:26] Special Announcements

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[00:05:31] The History of Tipping

[00:05:31] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: I wanna start with the history of tipping. I feel like that's the least known thing. We know the today's situation when it comes to tipping and how frustrating that can be.

[00:05:40] But how did this all come to begin with? So there's a, I'm gonna name drop two where this research is in case people want to look into it themselves. But originally tipping came from Europe, so wealthy Americans adopted it. In the mid 18 hundreds so that they can be, seem refined and [00:06:00] bourgeois, but it was largely frowned upon in the United States. So much so that there were actually like laws against it, but eventually those laws were repealed. And then when it really came roaring back to actually be a thing that kind of stuck around was actually after. Enslaved Americans, African Americans were freed and they didn't want to pay them a wage.

[00:06:24] So therefore, these African Americans who were dependent on these tips, this was their wage versus actually being paid for their labor. 

[00:06:33]  Autumn Carter: Yeah, the references. 

[00:06:34] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Places where you could find this research the Federal Reserve Bank of Richmond has this information as well as the Economic Policy Institute for reference. And then it even became more solidified with the Fair Labor Standards Act, which made it so tip workers like that.

[00:06:55] The tip. Came into their wage so that with time, [00:07:00] like people, like restaurant owners didn't have to pay like a wage, but made sure like they had to just meet a minimum based on how much the, staff member was tipped. So this is how like this wildly unpopular custom became solidified in our culture today.

[00:07:18] And the fascinating thing, at least for me, is that. In the us like this is like a mandatory thing versus when I go visit other countries, it's like almost offensive to be tipping people, which is how it was originally the United States where it seemed only the wealthy people were doing it to like the lesser people.

[00:07:40] That became a whole thing versus now it's so standard here. So that's the background. 

[00:07:45]  Autumn Carter: I went to Dominican Republic in April, this is has been on my mind. Yeah. In the Dominican Republic, they expect you to tip all over the place. 

[00:07:55] And when we were researching it, we went to Goodall YouTube for our [00:08:00] research and all the videos were saying, make sure to have tons of ones so you could tip people.

[00:08:05] It is just a couple bucks here and there to everybody, but it all adds up. And then going to the Dominican Republic, and then that's when I had some other experiences and finally reached out to thinking, you know what? I don't wanna do this myself. I'm gonna put this on you, the money coach to do this for us.

[00:08:24] But quick question about the 

[00:08:26] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Dominican though. Were you at a resort or were you off resort? I think that's a whole different animal. 

[00:08:31]  Autumn Carter: Excursions they expected or driving. But I'm sure it's in the resort areas. That makes sense. 

[00:08:36] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yeah, so anytime I've traveled, if it is in relation to tourism specifically, then yes.

[00:08:43] Versus if you're local, you don't expect that even for myself and restaurants that are in the United States but are very based on their own culture it's just oh, this is nice if you do it. Versus you must do it in comparison.

[00:08:56] So interesting. 

[00:08:58] Tipping Norms and Practices

[00:08:58]  Autumn Carter: And then I know [00:09:00] that tipping, it feels like it became more popularized, more expected. 

[00:09:07] When, and this is really important because this is Labor Day Week that we're saying this.

[00:09:11] But thinking of Labor Day. 

[00:09:15] I don't know all the history that is your job, but I know that it became even more solidified for us in our generation. When we really became aware of wages for restaurant workers specifically. Yes. And how low they're paid and how they need those tips to survive.

[00:09:34] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. And I personally feel like I saw this really solidified after around COVID time because there was such a drastic loss of income for these industries that when it came back it felt like everybody wanted the piece of the pie. Not just the people who originally, like we always did it for restaurants.

[00:09:56] And haircuts. Yeah. There's certain things that you always did it [00:10:00] for, but now it's like everywhere. Also there's been a stark increase in the cost of living. So I think everybody's just trying to get in where they fit in, almost if you don't ask, you don't get.

[00:10:12] But I think what really comes the issue with tipping and the frustrations people have is not just, oh, asking for a tip, but almost demanding it, whether with words or without, or just by body language. And so just wanna talk about for all what we think is standard kind of tipping versus what's optional.

[00:10:31] Standard tipping. We know that Sit down restaurants you're supposed to tip. Okay? It is of my humble, not humble opinion that if you cannot afford to tip, you cannot afford to eat at that restaurant. Hair salons, barbers, and nail tax because they do not own right. A lot of them pay rent to the owner.

[00:10:51] So the money that you are paying is not going directly to them. So it's customary to tip. [00:11:00] Taxis, delivery drivers, those things are customary to tip now, 

[00:11:04]  Autumn Carter: Please speak to that because there's the pleaser side of me that like, yes, but then there's the, I'm trying to take care of my money side of me. 

[00:11:12] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes, because the thing is the food, I particularly do not usually tip when it comes to pickup orders, unless it's gonna be a large pickup order that is going to be like obviously extra work for the staff.

[00:11:24]  Autumn Carter: Gone above and beyond. 

[00:11:26] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. But when you are sitting at a restaurant versus pickup, you're sitting at the restaurant, they're bringing, they're coming back and forth, making sure that you need to attend it. For, I put in the, when it comes to pickup order. There's one interaction there and that's it.

[00:11:40] You put the order usually online and then the person comes and brings you your food hopefully on time. Okay. So there is, as far as I understand it, most people are on the same side of this, that usually with the pickup order, unless it's a very large order, they do not tip. In terms of like things that I feel like is like [00:12:00] rare, if ever to tip is things like self checkout.

[00:12:04] Nowadays, think about like with the grocery store, we're out on labor so these, at least we're not getting paid for that. So at self-checkout kiosk, when you're buying things, and then do you know making a payment that way? I wouldn't assume that you would feel forced to tip retail stores or places with no direct service.

[00:12:24] Like you wouldn't expect to have to tip. 

[00:12:26]  Autumn Carter: So what about if you're name dropping again, but Lowe's or Home Depot style? And they are helping you load something in your car. Do you tip then? 

[00:12:34] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: I personally do not. I don't know that I've ever had anything that large, personally, to put into my car.

[00:12:42]  Autumn Carter: Supposed to 

[00:12:42] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: but I don't think it's expected. Usually they have first of all, the things that would be concerning in terms of getting them. To bring the, item to my car is like making sure they're safe. So as long as they're using their proper like equipment, like to make sure that they're [00:13:00] not going to hurt themselves, I think we're all good.

[00:13:03] And the thing is, I think also too, my background's in nursing and we are not even allowed to really take money for anything. And I don't know what's a more demanding service. My opinion than that. So I think that they tell me 

[00:13:17]  Autumn Carter: give birth. 

[00:13:19] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. But not even just that. Thanks for bringing me comforting me when I was sad and I was alone.

[00:13:27] There's a whole bunch of things that come with nursing that, and I'm not saying that, oh, we should, since we can't get tips. But it's part of our work, and we are paid fairly for that. 

[00:13:37]  Autumn Carter: Be awkward to do the whole maybe they didn't give me ice chips.

[00:13:41] So when I asked, yeah, if I didn't chip them, like that could be really messy. 

[00:13:46] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes, it could. So I think it's great that our industry doesn't have those blurred lines yes. And when it comes to things like the, I wouldn't think that it's necessary to tip their wages do not depend on [00:14:00] you tipping.

[00:14:00] So I think that's like an easy. Way to gauge, and we'll talk later too about like how you think through when it's hip and when not to, but they're not dependent on your income and they make good, I don't wanna say, I don't want to determine what's a good wage that's up for interpretation depending where you are, but they make more than minimum.

[00:14:21]  Autumn Carter: And then what about for business owners? 

[00:14:25] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: So in my opinion, if you. The owner of the business, you should charge me what you think I'm supposed to pay. I see no reason why I'm the one determining your value. Like you should be determining your value. And that's actually a great conversation for entrepreneurs about not putting that expectation on your clients.

[00:14:46] Make sure you charge a wage that you feel comfortable with, that doesn't make you resent your customers. Makes you feel good so that you don't have to feel like it could bring, some kind of mindset issues when you charge less than what you believe is your value expecting for someone to give [00:15:00] you a tip.

[00:15:02]  Autumn Carter: Okay, so what about for those of us who feel like me, please help me feel more normal here, you guys that. If I don't tip them and there's that option, am I saying that they gave me bad service and that whole spiral downhill of that type of thinking. 

[00:15:20] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yeah. So I think that for me, what makes it easy for me in terms of determining when not to tip and being comfortable when I do decide I'm not gonna tip.

[00:15:31] Deciding When to Tip

[00:15:31] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: It is developing my own personal ethos when it comes to money. The reason why our mind gets all wacky when it comes to tipping is because nowadays we have all these options that are like right in front of us and for display for everyone to see, right?

[00:15:43] So the digital tablets, they turn around and they have these preset options. Like they don't even let you decide the number at this point. They just say, Hey, let's make this easy for you by deciding hey, 15, 20, 25. Yep. And it used to be. [00:16:00] Even for things like, maybe even a pickup order when a, restaurant did have it, it would be like, oh, 5, 10, 15.

[00:16:06] Now it's like 10, 15, 20, or 15, 20, 25. Like it's creeping up. And so the social pressure of the workers potentially seeing you and the people behind you potentially seeing you adds to potential guilt. We don't wanna look cheap. And then two, when they do give you options. Like the higher options, even though you may feel like I would rather just give 10%, it makes you feel bad to change it

[00:16:33]  Autumn Carter: I like to choose the middle, so then I, feel less bad and the middle has gotten higher and higher, so yes. I feel seen right now. 

[00:16:42] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: So in terms of like how to decide when to tip. I would say first, think about whether or not this worker depends on your, tip for income.

[00:16:54] If so, then yes, be generous. Was there an actual [00:17:00] service given or is it just a transaction? So that's the difference between being at a restaurant and being served versus a pickup order. Did the worker go above and beyond? So of course, if they have. You should feel free to tip, right?

[00:17:17] And then you ask if this is in your budget. So if, you can't afford to tip at a sit down restaurant where they're serving you, then you can't afford to eat there. Take out is maybe your better option or whatever other options going through a drive through for another restaurant or whatever.

[00:17:33] But those are the things to consider. In terms of developing your own principles for what's fair, what's right and what's not, at least for me, it makes me feel like I don't care what other people think, quite frankly, because I've developed my own values when it comes to money.

[00:17:51] I know that I'm a giving person. I don't need to prove that to Tom, Dick and Harry 'cause they don't know me. And [00:18:00] if it was a place where it made me feel bad for not. Doing it when I felt like it wasn't necessary, then I just wouldn't frequent that place anymore. So you have a lot of ownership in yourself to not, nobody can make you feel anything.

[00:18:16] You choose how you feel and in managing that is how you can feel better about the choices you make. So that's my tip for it. 

[00:18:26]  Autumn Carter: And then as of September 3rd. 

[00:18:30] Standard Tipping Amounts

[00:18:30]  Autumn Carter: What is the normal tipping amount or what should it be? 

[00:18:35] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yeah, should is a very I can't even answer that fully.

[00:18:42] But standard, especially in restaurants, and actually it does depend on the area. Because like your more higher cost of living, it tends to skew a little higher. But in general, restaurants at this point are around 20%. And that is similar across these like service industries. So like your [00:19:00] barber, your hairstylists your nail tech, your pedicures, all those people.

[00:19:06] When it comes to things like, the hotel staff that's cleaning your room, there's not really a percentage. Some people kind of range for depending on, I guess how you have people come clean your room. Some people have people clean their room every day. Other people just have it at the end of the stay.

[00:19:24] A lot of times I have found personally that when I leave money while during my stay, they never take it. So I, this point, I don't know how, what the actual rules are, but they don't. Take the money until I check out. And then whenever I leave there, obviously I have no clue what happens to it. I assume they take it.

[00:19:41] So usually at the end of a stay, depending on how long this stay is, how often they've had to clean, I would determine maybe five to $10 a day for the housekeeping staff. And then when it comes to like your Uber delivery driver or your taxi driver, I think 15 to 20% is the norm. [00:20:00] 

[00:20:00]  Autumn Carter: And that's okay.

[00:20:01] I feel better that it is still about 20%. 

[00:20:04] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. 

[00:20:04]  Autumn Carter: Seeing those pads and seeing it be higher and higher has been, yeah. Making me, wait a second. Am I really that disconnected? Thank you. Everybody else who feels same way. Yes. Prisca. Thank you. All right. What else do you have for us? 

[00:20:20] Final Thoughts on Tipping

[00:20:20] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: So I just wanna say I mentioned this already about building.

[00:20:25] Tipping in where it's appropriate, make sure to build it into your purchase so that it doesn't have to catch you by surprise. You don't need to feel some type way about it, and don't make a big stink about it. I know sometimes I've seen stuff on the internet where like.

[00:20:38] They go to make a point on the receipt, like they make it big zeroes and they make a whole scene like, let's be good people. Okay. And they make remarks like, oh, I'm not here to pay your salary. Don't eat there. 

[00:20:48] Understanding Tipping Etiquette

[00:20:48] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: I just don't understand that there's no reason to make other people feel bad.

[00:20:52] They did not invent tipping. Okay. That weight staff did not invent it. So be kind. And then, and that's the other 

[00:20:58]  Autumn Carter: way. 

[00:20:59] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yep. If you're [00:21:00] the wait 

[00:21:00]  Autumn Carter: staff, remember? Yes. People are struggling. And they might not have had cash for whatever reason. I grew up extremely poor. I did not learn about tipping. I did not know I needed to tip my hairstylist until my mom told me as she's driving away and I'm like, then turn around and I'll tip the guys.

[00:21:17] Yeah, no, it's too late. Why? We're just now leaving. Anyway, so we all grew up with different circumstances and not all of our parents took time to actually teach us things. 

[00:21:28] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. And actually that's a good point. 

[00:21:30] Cultural Perspectives on Tipping

[00:21:30] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: 'cause when I was growing up, so my culture, I'm a Haitian background, tipping is not a huge thing in our culture.

[00:21:36] So when I used to get my hair done by other Haitians or Africans or whoever, like that was never a thing really about tipping. But my sister is now a hairstylist and she is the one that put me on Hey, you need to tip your hairstylist. And I was like okay. Good to know. Like you said, people who are serving these people as well should [00:22:00] give grace.

[00:22:00] Don't just go onto judgment. 

[00:22:04] The Impact of Shaming and Educating on Tipping

[00:22:11] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: There are also things like that on the internet where they're like shaming people for not doing certain things. Again, there's certain things that I feel like are standard. If you go to a restaurant, you should expect, I don't think anybody believes that you're not going to tip at a restaurant.

[00:22:16] Just about the amount, like maybe. The person did 15 versus your typical 20, they shouldn't deserve to be shamed. I just think that in general, shaming doesn't, does very little for most people. It doesn't serve a lot. The person's behavior is probably not gonna change just because you, shame them.

[00:22:34] But educating people is, I think a great practice. 

[00:22:38]  Autumn Carter: And plus when you come across with that whole energy it will affect the next table you're waiting on. 

[00:22:45] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: I 

[00:22:45]  Autumn Carter: can imagine that you could actually get tipped higher. 

[00:22:47] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yep, 

[00:22:48]  Autumn Carter: there is that whole, okay, just let it go next person. 

[00:22:52] Practical Tips for Tipping

[00:22:52] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: And even another thing that could be helpful is carrying cash, because cash has a limit, right?

[00:22:59] I think the [00:23:00] us getting used to using cards all the time, which they have great features. I'm big proponent of credit cards. But if tipping is like so uncomfortable for you, you can determine, okay this is, how much I expect to spend on my meal. That's how much I expect a tip and bring that much so that way you don't feel like you have to add extra on it.

[00:23:17] But it's also good I've tipped people who weren't even serving me 'cause I just saw them doing a good job. And so tipping allows you to be generous as well. It's not, we don't just need to look at it from the perspective of what it's like the mental, me that it creates for us, but it also has a lot of positive effects.

[00:23:36] Like when I see, remember I went to California and this woman, she was just working her butt off and I was like, I don't know what she's doing. She was so much better by waitress and so I just gave her a lot. I just gave her like a meals worth of cash. I was like, this is you doing so good. I just wanna encourage you, I want you to keep that spirit of the helpfulness that kindness and I want you to do more of that

[00:23:56] so that's the alternate side of tipping where you could do it if someone [00:24:00] really, if it really does stick out for you and you value what they're doing to also be generous. 

[00:24:06]  Autumn Carter: I love that.

[00:24:07] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: So the only other, the last thing I'll add is that if you have determined for yourself that this is not a situation where I feel like. I should tip meaning this person is not dependent on my tip for a wage. No service was rendered. This is just a transaction and yada, yada.

[00:24:22] Whatever you decide is your ethos when it comes to it, then learn to not be ashamed or feel guilty about that choice. And it makes it easier if you make that choice before you get to the place. Because if you decide it, if you're doing it in like when they flip it to you and you might even give a look of mift, and then that creates a whole energy that you don't even need to deal with.

[00:24:46] Make the decision before, no thanks and call it a day. 

[00:24:50]  Autumn Carter: So there's a car wash by my house. And I would forget to bring cash to tip. And I didn't have a way to have a Venmo there or [00:25:00] anything else. So I started avoiding it until I became in the habit of carrying cash.

[00:25:05] It just don't judge me in my glove box. It's only a couple dollars, so it's not like a huge amount. So I could go to that one. If I am on that side of town, if I'm on another side of town, it's a drive-through one. There's nobody around, like I don't have to worry about it. But what do you recommend for people that find themselves in my situation, where it's one that, oh, I didn't realize they needed to tip in this moment.

[00:25:32] I didn't realize there was going to be actual people at the end of this that I Yeah. Is expected. 

[00:25:38] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: I've been there before and not even just not expecting it, but we're such a cashless society that sometimes I've gone, because I don't go to car wash that often, that I remember oh yeah, I need to bring cash that day.

[00:25:51] I've been in that situation when I have not had the cash. I remember that next time. I'm like, I will make sure that [00:26:00] before this instead of feeling guilty, it doesn't serve anything. They don't need to feel your guilt. Your guilt doesn't serve you either.

[00:26:06] Next time I'm gonna do better and make sure I have something. And then on the flip side, what you said about the fact that because you didn't have cash, you would go somewhere different or just avoid that one. Again, going back to I said about the restaurant if you don't have the money to tip, then do not intentionally go somewhere where you know you're supposed to tip.

[00:26:25] That to me is uncool. The thing that's wary too about this is how much when it comes to your car wash, I would say still keep it about 20%, even though that's gonna be divided among multiple people. 'cause you don't know how many people are gonna work your car, so you can't predetermine how much each person's going to get.

[00:26:40] So you go based off the service and you call it a day. 

[00:26:43]  Autumn Carter: And it's really fast, like they're just drying off the car. 

[00:26:46] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yeah. 

[00:26:47]  Autumn Carter: I make sure that the inside of the car is clean, so it's just the outside part. But yeah, I make sure that I have a little bit of cash in my wallet now that I carry a wallet again.

[00:26:57] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes, 

[00:26:58]  Autumn Carter: Getting rid of diapers was [00:27:00] amazing and I decided I'm gonna carry no bags and just have my phone. I didn't have a place to put cash, just the card on my phone because Cashless society. 

[00:27:07] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. 

[00:27:07]  Autumn Carter: I started putting some in the glove box and just $5 at a time. And now I have about $5 in my wallet now that I carry a purse again.

[00:27:16] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Where do you keep your license 

[00:27:17]  Autumn Carter: my wallet is with my license now, before I had a different phone case, but it kept breaking. And I got sick of replacing that same phone case and it was one where you could slide it and it had room for three cards. So I got my credit card, my driver's license and insurance card

[00:27:31] literally all that could fit in there, not even cash. So that created the problem. 

[00:27:36] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. Understood. 

[00:27:38]  Autumn Carter: Yeah. Okay. 

[00:27:39] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: That's all. I think that covers like the bulk of it. I think we've covered all the arguments I've ever encountered in regards to tipping and I feel also the new piece is definitely the history.

[00:27:50] I think that in all the years I've heard arguments about tipping. This is the first time that I've heard of the origin of why it occurred and why it became a part of our [00:28:00] society. And the fact was just that they didn't wanna pay people of color. So there you go. Okay. 

[00:28:05] Financial Struggles and Tipping

[00:28:05]  Autumn Carter: I find it to be so frustrating now because things have not gotten cheaper since COVID grocery shopping. Going to the grocery store is a Costco dollar amount at the end. Yes. It has not, the fluctuation has not gone down and hopefully one day it does, hopefully my lifetime especially before our kids get to be full on teenagers because it's, yeah.

[00:28:34] And I am trying so hard to behave with money. 

[00:28:40] I've really been focusing on the, that part of my wellness is financial. Yes. And having everybody asking for extra money from me is very frustrating. And I know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Feeling the pinch from everything being more expensive than it used to be.

[00:28:57] Yes. And then people expecting more money on [00:29:00] top of that. It's crazy. 

[00:29:03] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yeah, it's, unfortunate that this is the situation we're in. We all have to be stored around finances. So when it comes to whether or not, again, if you are fing someplace that is.

[00:29:15] Making you feel badly about tipping, you can choose not to frequent there, right? That person though, does not choose, cannot, I don't wanna say they don't have a choice but to work there, but we all have to work somewhere, right? So we have a lot of onus in ourselves to take control of where we can, because there's some places where we can't like we have to eat, so therefore we need to go to grocery store.

[00:29:33] But do you need Instacart to do the pickup? Do you need DoorDash for dinner? These are all choices you get to make. So that way you can control what is in your control. That's my big thing about it. There's a lot of talk about of course we know our money doesn't stretch as far as it used to, but complaining about it does nothing, right?

[00:29:56] If there's political action you wanna take, or societal action you wanna take, [00:30:00] yes, you could do that, but at the end of the day, you still gotta do your budget. If, anything comes out of it. It's gonna be a long time.

[00:30:06] And in the meantime, you have to figure out how to make your situation work for now. 

[00:30:11]  Autumn Carter: Correct. And I know so many people who, especially with everything going on with the government, that's as political as I'll get for you guys. A lot of layoffs have happened.

[00:30:22] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. 

[00:30:22]  Autumn Carter: And a lot of people are going to Instacart, DoorDash, uber. So that they can gain some kind of income while they're looking for permanent employment. Yes. So thinking about it this way, how unfair is it for you not to tip those people properly? Knowing that they are barely making ends meet.

[00:30:45] This is just so they can put food on their own table so that they can pay their own mortgage, car payment, whatever the bare minimum things. 

[00:30:53] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. 

[00:30:53]  Autumn Carter: That they can then gain long-term employment. 

[00:30:58] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Ex excellent [00:31:00] point. 'cause a lot of times another, that's another thing I see come across the internet where people will feign like they're going to tip and then they take away the tip after the item has been delivered.

[00:31:09] Or some even worse, and I'm sure none of your listeners are like this, where they pretend like they never receive the item to begin with because times are hard and they don't wanna pay for the item. That's just terrible. It's a bad mark on that person who's just trying to make ends meet. There's no DoorDash, Uber Eats drive.

[00:31:29] None of them are making money out of the wazoo, okay? Like it's, almost crazy how little they make in comparison to how much you're ordering. So nobody's here trying to get over on you. And if you want the thing delivered, you need to account for that cost when you're making that purchase. 

[00:31:52]  Autumn Carter: And I know people who have looked into it.

[00:31:54] And the only way that you make enough money to cover bills, especially to [00:32:00] cover the cost of gas, is if you are in more of a city area where you're just dropping off, picking up, dropping off, picking up, and you're doing it where you're picking up and it's several drops in a row,

[00:32:09] and they all need to be close together. So yes, think about how much work needs to be. Put into this for them to make such a small amount in return. 

[00:32:20] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes. 

[00:32:20]  Autumn Carter: It's that for some people it's a day labor type idea. For some people this is like their for real deal. And for some, this is just day labor style until in between interviewing, in between job searching, everything else in life.

[00:32:38] Or to make a side income to pay for Billy who's in a cast, whatever. 

[00:32:46] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Yes, agreed. 

[00:32:47] Navigating Financial Freedom

[00:32:53] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: And so that's why I think it's important for all of us to find freedom within our own finances so that these little kind of nickel and dimming doesn't need to be part of our day to day. Create your own [00:33:00] principles when it comes to money and just stick to them

[00:33:02] it makes life so much easier. So much simpler. And that's why, if it's cool with you, I just wanna share that my three steps to financial freedom guide is so practical for this because you not only learn in there how to make your money stretch further, but also how to make it grow faster so that these things stop being, like the talking points.

[00:33:22] It's like some people refer to these as the 20, $30 questions when you could be. Dealing with thousand dollars, $10,000, $30,000 questions that will impact you in the long term versus the short term. 

[00:33:38]  Autumn Carter: Yeah. For me, it's the.

[00:33:40] Emotional part of it, like hold on. I'm, second guessing myself. I thought I knew how to do this right now. I'm wondering, so you really helped me here, and I'm sure I'm not the only one with this. And then I love that it's going, let's go a step further and let's get the rest of your budget in mind and really think [00:34:00] long term so that.

[00:34:02] For me, I'm really focusing on as a coach, wellness. I wanna make sure that you are well off, that you're healthy and you're over here with the finance part, making sure the finances are healthy. Let's bring those together so that you can roll in the door in your nineties and have both in surplus.

[00:34:20] Oh, yes. Yes. 

[00:34:22] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: Love that. 

[00:34:23]  Autumn Carter: Thank you for this and for being on with me and for making your schedule work with me. Because I did not wanna do this alone. I knew I would not do it justice, and I was mulling it over for about a month and then it just clicked. Ask prisca, duh, was the next thought I had. Why did I think of this before?

[00:34:40] So that's when I immediately emailed you. So thank you for this. You're welcome. Thanks for having me. And if any of you. Think of anybody who has complained about tipping or people in your life like this, pass this on because I know I'm not the only one [00:35:00] who's wondered about this.

[00:35:01] Prisca, you've even said that you've wondered about it, so you had to research it yourself and that you were seeing. Tons of other people in your community asking about this, so please share this away. We want to bring out the separate, the emotion side of this. Because emotion and finances, if you can separate them, it's a lot easier in life.

[00:35:22] And if you can really, like Prisco was saying, think through what do I wanna do in these situations? It makes life so much easier. It takes out that whole decision fatigue. Yes. I don't know if any of you out there are like me, but the more decisions I have to make in a day, the more brain tired, crabby mommy comes out.

[00:35:42] Prisca Benson- Our Green Life: I like that point you made Autumn. When you talk about take, so emotions and money happen a lot together. But you can have the emotion, understand the emotion, and then make a decision. They do not need to influence one another. So directly where, oh, because I feel some way, I'm gonna act this way.

[00:35:58] And that's what systems [00:36:00] create. That's what habits create. That's when making the decision prior to the decision being in front of you helps you to do, is like, Hey, every time in this situation, this is what I do. Makes it so that you don't have to have a strong emotion about it. Every time this the situation comes up.

[00:36:15]  Autumn Carter: Yeah, having to redecide every time, blah. No, thank you. 

[00:36:19] Conclusion and Final Thoughts

[00:36:19]  Autumn Carter: I hope you have a great night and I hope the rest of you guys have a great rest of your week and we will see you next time.

[00:36:27] Thanks for tuning into this week's episode. I am your host, autumn Carter, a certified life coach dedicated to empowering individuals to rediscover their identity, find balance, miss chaos, strengthen relationships, and pursue their dreams. My goal is to help people thrive in every aspect of their lives. I hope today's discussion inspired you and offered valuable insights.

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[00:37:59] One last thing [00:38:00] to cover the show legally, I'm a certified life coach giving general advice, so think of this, this more as a self-help book. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, so this podcast shouldn't be taken as a replacement for professional guidance from a doctor or therapist.

[00:38:19] If you want personal one-on-one coaching from a certified life and parenting coach, go to my website, wellness and every season.com. That's where you can get personalized coaching from me for you. See you in next week's episode.