Wellness In Every Season

Episode 152: How do I Prioritize

• Autumn Carter/ Amelia Duran-Stanton • Season 1 • Episode 152

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In this uplifting episode, Autumn Carter welcomes Dr. Amelia Duran-Stanton—a Colonel in the U.S. Army, physician assistant, educator, and author of The LOTUS Within: Grow Your Purpose and Ignite Your Passion. Together, they explore the art of strategic planning, time management, and prioritization through the lens of personal growth, resilience, and self-compassion.


Dr. Duran-Stanton shares her remarkable journey from her roots in the Philippines to over three decades of military service, weaving in lessons on leadership, purpose, and the power of helping others while maintaining self-care. The conversation blossoms into a deep reflection on how we can all create structure and meaning in our lives without losing sight of who we are. Listeners will find encouragement to balance ambition with rest, to plan boldly while staying flexible, and to nurture the “big rocks” that matter most—family, health, and legacy.


They also discuss her workbook-style approach to The LOTUS Within, guiding readers to rediscover passion and purpose through reflection, journaling, and strategic life design. Whether you’re a professional juggling roles, a parent seeking balance, or someone craving direction, this episode offers tangible insight on how to take control of your time and craft a life of alignment and intention.


You can connect with Dr. Amelia Duran-Stanton at www.ameliads.com or follow her journey on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter/X, Pinterest, and YouTube under @pinayarmypa. Her book The LOTUS Within is available on Amazon.

For more wellness tips and exclusive content, join my newsletter! Sign up now at https://wellness-in-every-season.kit.com/5-days-to-mastering-mornings-and-evenings receive a free 5-day guide called "Awaken and Unwind: 5 Days to Mastering Life's Mornings and Evenings."

Episode 152: Strategic Planning, Time Management and Prioritization

[00:00:00] Introduction and Guest Background

[00:00:00] Autumn Carter: This is episode 1 52, and today we're gonna be talking about strategic planning, time management, and 

[00:00:07] Amelia Duran-Stanton: prioritization.

[00:00:09] Autumn Carter: Welcome to Wellness In Every Season, the podcast where we explore the rich tapestry of wellness in all of its forms. I'm your host, autumn Carter, a certified life coach, turn wellness coach, as well as a certified parenting coach dedicated to empowering others to rediscover their identity in their current season of life.

[00:00:28] My goal is to help you thrive, both as an individual and as a parent.

[00:00:32] I am so excited to have Amelia on it. I was telling her right before we hit record that I did not plan this out, but it's super funny because she is active duty in the Army and the one that I recorded last night is with a friend of mine who is retired Navy. So it's just gonna be military week over here. So, yay. And I need to read the introduction for her because it's so good and I know I'm gonna miss stuff.

[00:00:58] She is Dr. [00:01:00] Amelia Duran Stanton. She was born in the Philippines, so that just means that she has the really good genes. We can't tell how old she is at all. Don't guess. Oh, you can guess exactly.

[00:01:12] Amelia's Military Journey

[00:01:12] Autumn Carter: She is a colonel in the US Army and has served for over 33 years. She just had her anniversary in July, which includes eight years enlisted with deployments in Kosovo, Iraq, and Afghanistan. Has that now changed to 25? 

[00:01:28] Amelia Duran-Stanton: It sure did. Yep. 25 

[00:01:30] Autumn Carter: years as a PA or a physician assistant, she holds a PhD in post-secondary and adult education and a doctor of science and PA studies in orthopedics. She has tons of free time, right? 

[00:01:47] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah, that's right. 

[00:01:48] Autumn Carter: Time management. You're right. She's certified as a lean six Sigma Master black belt with multiple awards and decorations. She has [00:02:00] mentored, coach, sponsored, and taught several women over the years, and she has published over a hundred articles and presentations with topics ranging from medicine, mentorship, and management. That's a lot. Yeah. And of course she's 12, so she did all this in her sleep or something.

[00:02:18] That's right. Reverse aging. That movie Benjamin Button was weird. But in real life sounds interesting. So strategic planning, time management, getting your priority straight. I'm not gonna say the word correctly with my braces on. It makes sense with everything that was just listed out in your accomplishments, and I love interviewing people and I will only try to interview people who have really walked the walk.

[00:02:49] So you have already gotten our attention. You obviously are walking the walk with everything that you've done. So let's start out with something [00:03:00] I don't know that I've never asked before. What are you most proud of out of this list and why? 

[00:03:06] Importance of Self-Care

[00:03:06] Amelia Duran-Stanton: The thing that I'm most proud of is that it's not all about me.

[00:03:11] 'cause I do focus on helping others, but of course with helping others, I know I have to focus on helping myself. So that's the main thing that I teach others is in order to help as many people as you want to, you can't neglect yourself. So that's the main thing I think. In summary, if anything the apocalypse comes and you don't hear anything else from me, that's the main thing that I wanted to share with your audience.

[00:03:36] Autumn Carter: I love that. And I was just thinking about I military. You have to put your own gas mask on first instead of. Yes. Going with the airplane analogy. 

[00:03:45] Amelia Duran-Stanton: That's right. 

[00:03:46] Autumn Carter: But it's so true, and that's something that I very much advocate for. I started out as only trying to coach moms and I've branched out because I realized while I was trying to only coach moms, I was coaching men.

[00:03:58] Amelia Duran-Stanton: A mix. Yeah. 

[00:03:59] Autumn Carter: But [00:04:00] it's so hard to be that example for other people if you're not doing it yourself first. So I love that. And let me back up and thank you for being on. I'm very excited that you're here, obviously you have a lot to share with us, and I am grateful that you're taking the time out to share 

[00:04:22] Amelia Duran-Stanton: excited to be here.

[00:04:24] Autumn Carter: Yeah. Okay. 

[00:04:25] Strategic Planning and Time Management

[00:04:25] Autumn Carter: So where do you wanna start with this? You have a really great plan. I am just. Ready to go, whichever direction you wanna take us. 

[00:04:34] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Absolutely. We can start from the very beginning, like my childhood. 'cause the, I don't know if you've had access to the book yet. That's how my origin story pretty much on.

[00:04:48] How this book evolved. So when I was younger I, did live in the Philippines and a lot of my family members were teachers and always in the education realm. So that's how I grew up, [00:05:00] in that sense. And then also the reason why I did a doctorate in education. Is because when I retire, I do have an exit plan, which is teach online in my pajamas.

[00:05:10] We just halfway dressed with fancy and then whatever I want on the bottom. Drinking coffee, wherever in the world. So from that childhood of being focusing on education and learning anything and everything along the way my ultimate goal at the end of this is, help others. The way that others have also helped me.

[00:05:34] With teaching, coaching, mentoring, and sponsoring. 'cause I wouldn't be here right where I am today without the help of other people. So that's definitely in a nutshell of from beginning to end. 

[00:05:46] Autumn Carter: Oh, I love that. Once you climb that ladder, you're reaching down and helping others out.

[00:05:49] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Absolutely, yes. The way that other, and. On the shoulders of giants that have been helping you along the way. There's always somebody on the other side that needs your [00:06:00] help. 

[00:06:00] Autumn Carter: Welcome. Are you craving moments that nourish both your soul and family amidst the blur of daily tasks? I understand that desire for a life that brings peace, balance, and joy, not just endless to-dos. That's why I created a range of programs that wellness and every season to help you transform daily routines into meaningful experiences.

[00:06:21] Recently, I've launched a variety of offerings designed for busy budget conscious individuals, some free and others starting at just $7. Many can be completed in a few minutes or hours while others dive deeper into exploring your dreams, desires, and unique strengths. These programs focus on practical self-care, creating equity in your home, and building trust with yourself.

[00:06:44] Imagine stepping into your day with confidence and ease, feeling supported by a community on a similar path. Whether you're looking to reclaim time, pursue your dream job, or simplifying joy in the little moments, there's something here for you. All [00:07:00] resources are available on demand at wellness and every season.com.

[00:07:05] You can also book private coaching sessions for more personalized support on your journey.

[00:07:09] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. So let's start with your title of wellness in every season, 'cause that is unique. 'cause some people will, say that it's in phases.

[00:07:20] And it's different seasons that you're. You're learning and sometimes it's so monotonous, but celebrating every season is also very important. And also thinking strategic planning. So that's the reason why one of the things that I, wrote the book is, because whenever I. Mentor somebody, they're only thinking of what's in front of them that season, right?

[00:07:45] Whatever they need to do at this moment. But what I teach them is you need to look as far as 30 years, it's man, that's too far. I was like you blink your eyes and you're there, like me in my military career. When you read that off, it's a blink of an eye [00:08:00] and, what have I done?

[00:08:01] So when you look back on all the seasons, were you struggling? And if you were struggling. How did you help yourself? Who helped you? I think in anybody that's thinking about their legacy, so this is my legacy is, leaving something behind. What will you be remembered by in the seasons of your life, whether that be your passion, whatever it is.

[00:08:27] 'cause whatever you're passionate about may not be what you're doing now. Because an example that I had is I had a colleague that was also a PA in the military who paid the bills to be a PA when, but when she retired, she opened up a business in baking. I was like, what the heck? Where did that come from?

[00:08:42] But it, her passion has always been, the medicine part was more in order to get to that end state of, baking. So I thought that was beautiful in a sense, but I like, why did you have to wait until then, but so that's what I [00:09:00] tell the younger folks. Not only do you have to manage your time because you have different rules in life, you could be whatever your profession is.

[00:09:09] Or like when, we come home, we're still the parent, we're still the, the spouse or even with your with the child that if you're the one that's helping your, parents as well. So those are different roles that you have to do, but how are you managing it all? How are you prioritizing not just on a sense of a daily basis, but in advance and then backwards planning from that so that you know what you need to get done today so that you can get to.

[00:09:34] Whatever you want to do on your long term. 'cause I know people that are just taking it a day at a time and sometimes wasting their money, not saving. But if you have goals and their specific measurable, attainable, relevant, and time bound, which is the smart acronym, you have a better understanding of what you need to accomplish and they're doable.

[00:09:56] Because you gave yourself those [00:10:00] parameters to get them done. So I think regardless of anything that you are learning is the strategic planning is it's something that you have to do and plan for. And it's not intuitive 'cause otherwise you just wake up, do whatever you have to do and then go to bed and so on.

[00:10:16] And then the sun rises the sunset, but everybody has the same hours in the day. We all have 24 hours, we all have seven days a week and 365 days a year. But what are you filling it with during those times and how are you prioritizing them depending on your circumstances? 'cause it's not the same for everybody.

[00:10:39] Autumn Carter: I love that. And what I have found in my own life is we have the same 24 hours. And there's seasons in my life where I'm like, maybe I'll just sleep less and I'll get more done. 

[00:10:50] I get less done Uhhuh. I get so burned out and especially if what I've noticed with my own pattern is if I've done really intense [00:11:00] work, I can do two days of that.

[00:11:01] And then after that my brain is Nope, we need more sleep, we need more relaxation. And the harder I try to push through that, I can't do really deep work. 

[00:11:14] Especially if it's 16 hours worth of deep work that nothing is gonna come. That's. Very beneficial. Yeah. Whatever I put together, I need to undo and totally scrap it and start over again.

[00:11:28] It's just a waste of time. So yeah, it's really learning bad about myself and I really like what you're saying about being strategic in your planning because it's remembering yes, wellness in every season is play off my name and also play off. We all have seasons of life. We have seasons throughout our day, throughout our year.

[00:11:50] Just, there's so many different cycles, and especially talking to mostly women here we have, our cycles are so much easier [00:12:00] to understand to. Be aware of, especially if we are still in, if we're pre menopause because it goes we can easily see that because, oh, time to go buy supplies again or 

[00:12:14] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes.

[00:12:15] Autumn Carter: To get out the cup and clean it and all that Again, whatever. It's easier to see than it is with men. But I will tell you men have the cycles too. Yeah. It's just not as right there in your face. 

[00:12:28] Amelia Duran-Stanton: That's right. 

[00:12:29] Autumn Carter: And as we plan for those things. It makes it easier for us to have that flow and then it works with, it's like cogs and you put them all together and then there's this machine and you can say, okay, this is what I want my template to be for whatever my big goal is.

[00:12:46] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes. 

[00:12:47] Autumn Carter: And for me, it's remembering that I still need to be flexible in that. And allow it. Okay, that doesn't fit anymore. What do I wanna fit in instead? And I've been really playing with that in my own [00:13:00] wellness journey and it's been super fun to be like, okay, right now acupuncture's not working for me, so I'm gonna start doing Ricky or different things like that to help put myself together.

[00:13:11] And you also said something else that stood out to me, and it's something that I've been telling my husband that I'm diving into because, I really went into our finances and I feel like we are on a very good track for retirement and everything else and our plans there. But the other part of that is also my health.

[00:13:34] Yes. That's a huge part of the investment. And I found something on Instagram today. I shared it with my husband. I'm like, see other people believe what I'm saying? Yes. This moment of that is a huge investment. And especially, I'm turning 40 this year. Yeah, so it's one of those, what am I investing in health wise to make sure that I make it to, I would like to make it to 90.

[00:13:55] Yeah, don't wanna make it to a hundred. I wanna make it to 90 0 [00:14:00] 5. Have a lofty goal. Why not? If I make it to a hundred my same family members, like how many of them will be alive? That just sounds sad and I, don't wanna. See my great-grandchildren die off and I 90 Sounds good.

[00:14:18] Amelia Duran-Stanton: That's good. Yeah. It's a good balance there. 

[00:14:20] Autumn Carter: Yeah. And I still, I wanna have all my health. I don't want it to be one of those where I'm just barely making it past that finish line. That car that's clunking along? No, because that's my body. No, thank you. So I like what you're saying here.

[00:14:35] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Absolutely. So with that, I also, because I'm, I've been visiting National Parks, so I'm trying, that's like my goal while still on active duty is to visit all of the, 63, whatever number that is. Because what it is I've seen a bunch of people that say, oh, I'm gonna visit all the national parks.

[00:14:49] It's on my bucket list, and I'll do it when I retire. But then when I go to these national parks, a lot of these people, they're retired and they can't even walk around. They just sit on a bench and watch other people [00:15:00] go they've waited so long to get things done. And then the other is, the health part that you, mentioned, 'cause there's another article that I read as well is that you have to decide, like for example, for you, autumn is I'm 90 years old.

[00:15:10] What are the things that I want to be able to do at 90 years old? Whatever stretching that is, whatever strength I want to be is that you have to do those exercises now in order for you to have that long-term strength. To get you to 90. So that, those are the things that I think are like little nuggets of tips that you can't take for granted your health especially when you're young and, healthy still.

[00:15:22] And then wait later on and you have all these plans and you neglected your own health. It's that self-care again. 

[00:15:29] Autumn Carter: Or what about the people who are still sitting on the couch and they're eating the chips or whatever unhealthy thing, right? And their goal is to be active in retirement.

[00:15:44] Do it now. Yeah. You need to start doing that now. Exactly. Don't wait. 

[00:15:47] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. Don't wait. 

[00:15:48] Autumn Carter: Me I don't wanna be in one of those walkers. 

[00:15:51] I saw my grandfather go through that and those things. I don't know if you've ever watched anybody with a walker, they get stuck on the stupidest things.

[00:15:58] Like not even a for [00:16:00] real crack. Yeah, no, thank you. That would drive me nuts. I would be over there throwing a tantrum with that thing. 'cause it's like move. Yeah. I've seen my grandpa. I, can tell that I will have a little bit of an anger flare up once in a while if I'm in anything like my grandfather.

[00:16:16] But I also know who I am now and I will still be joyful, but I know that there will be certain things, especially when it's like my body does not function the way that I expect it to, that I will have those little moments. Yes. I don't want that to be over a walker, so I would rather not have the walker and I am doing the things now to take care of that and it's is a big investment just like you getting earning.

[00:16:41] What was it? How many black belts is that to get to the to master black belt? That 

[00:16:41] Amelia Duran-Stanton: It's actually, it's, on it's a process in improving things continuous process improvement. So you get from yellow belt, green belts, and then there's black belt, and then the master black belt.

[00:16:51] Master black belt is the highest one that you can get. So there, it's a stepwise, just like what you're saying. 

[00:16:56] Autumn Carter: Yeah, but it wasn't like, okay, I'm gonna go do [00:17:00] this. 

[00:17:00] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. Little steps. 

[00:17:01] Autumn Carter: How many years did it take you? 

[00:17:03] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Oh, wow. When I first started getting interested in that, it was about 2007. Because it was offered at, in a, in the hospital that I was working at.

[00:17:12] And I was like, oh, I love this. And then from then on, every time it was offered I'd say I wanna go to the next step, And it's always 'cause there's always mentors in that field. So I always see the ones that are already at the top say, how did you get to where you're at? 

[00:17:28] Autumn Carter: Wow, that's so cool that it was offered at the hospital.

[00:17:31] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. It's, not really a requirement, but it's what they're using as the program of record for continuous process improvement, lean decreasing waste. So it, was really important for them to have a, process. So I just. Bounced in there and joined them. 

[00:17:50] Autumn Carter: And it sounds like you were bitten by the bug, so to speak.

[00:17:53] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Because then I even became an instructor for it, and I, love teaching, coaching, [00:18:00] mentoring 

[00:18:01] Autumn Carter: wow, that's obvious. 

[00:18:02] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 

[00:18:04] Amelia's Book and Coaching

[00:18:04] Autumn Carter: So tell us more about your book 

[00:18:06] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah, 

[00:18:06] Autumn Carter: it's 

[00:18:06] Amelia Duran-Stanton: right here. 

[00:18:07] Autumn Carter: Perfect. 

[00:18:07] Lotus within, grow your purpose and ignite your passion. That is on my list. And I forgot how soon I needed to read it. I'm very excited for read. So yeah. I've always loved self-help books. Yeah. Ever since Me too. I don't know what kid does that though? Anyway I love them. I think it's weird that I've always loved them, but I'm gonna embrace the weird here.

[00:18:30] The same. 

[00:18:30] Yes. 

[00:18:30] And I'm still that way where I love reading them. I love seeing how I can improve myself trying different things. I think that goes with just that growth mindset. And I think that's where coaching comes in.

[00:18:44] And you are a coach as well? Talk us through what is your ideal client and how does this correlate with your book? 

[00:18:54] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes. In fact, that was like one of the assignments that I had to do to incorporate. So first thing, it's not just [00:19:00] a book it's also a workbook. So it's not one of those things where you read it from beginning to end in your, oh, I'm done with that.

[00:19:05] No, it's actually a step by step from beginning to end where you answer prompts. Questions about yourself, so you learn more about yourself, et cetera, and at the end you're, continually improving yourself. So the main thing about it is I was stationed in Germany. It was about Christmas time, and there was a lady that was teaching other people how to create their own courses.

[00:19:30] And this is what I chose. One of the main things that, the instructor said is, you don't give. Your client, what you think they need. You have to ask them what they need and they will tell you. And so that's what I did. So one of the assignments was ask your friends what do they need?

[00:19:50] And then I did a survey. I, posted on different social media for them to do the survey and ask them, what do you need help with? So the [00:20:00] themes came out to be those three. So that's why those are the primary things that I wanted to, help women with is the strategic planning.

[00:20:07] Primarily because like I said, a lot of people want help in time management and prioritization, but the root cause of the things that they're not doing well in is the strategic planning part. So that's one of the things that I put on there. The beginning of the book is basically learning about yourself and a lot of it is going through your childhood good or bad, indifferent, or whatever it is.

[00:20:32] 'cause there's some. People that have childhood trauma, but it's important for you to realize that even though you had a tough childhood, that you came out of it. So highlight the things of the milestones in your life that got you where you are today. So that's the precursor of the things that I wanted you to do.

[00:20:55] Going through your childhood, figuring it out, and then that's one, one of the spectrum to the [00:21:00] left and then to the right is writing your obituary. Or if you don't like, you think that's a little me vocabulary, you can say, just like I actually chose 90. And say, Hey, what if you're 90 years old and you wanna look back in your life?

[00:21:14] What do you wanna leave a legacy and what do you want people to know about you? So that's another writing assignment or if it's your funeral or, memorial service. And I actually have a sample of what I wrote about myself. It's a lot of the things of helping other women and people. So, those are the two polars of the left of your childhood and in the right of, at the end of your life.

[00:21:38] And then in the, beginning of it is figuring out your ikigai, which is your sweet spot of what you want to do based on your passion and what what you're good at and what. You can get paid for pretty much. So that's a lot of the things that are learning more about yourself and then figuring out also what your long-term goals [00:22:00] are.

[00:22:00] And then big rocks, little rocks. So what, are your big rocks in life? The big rocks are different for. Different people, like for me, family education a nice retirement. My kids, and my spouse. So things like that, you have to know what your big rocks are. 'cause otherwise the day will go by and you're only tackling the little rocks that will always be there anyway.

[00:22:24] 'cause I know you may have seen a metaphor of a jar and you put the sands first or. The little rocks first, and then when it's time for you to put the big rocks, they won't fit in, so they're coming out and you never get those done. That's why it's so important to fill your cup or fill your jar with the big rocks first.

[00:22:44] Because once you have those then you've identified them. You can start putting the little rocks in and even the sand and things like that, that you have to do in your daily life. But it takes whoever your significant other is to make sure that you're aligned with that. So that's one of the [00:23:00] things that I have in the book to get that done.

[00:23:03] And then after that, those are settled. Then we go into time management different strategies in doing that 'cause there's plenty out there. But I, tackle a few of those. And then also the prioritization like Eisenhower Matrix and a b, C methods and things like that. And I also have a blog every Sunday that people can follow as well.

[00:23:24] Along with the book, 'cause it's sequenced from beginning to end with it. And, it's just a thing where you have to commit, but you don't have to say I, read the whole thing now. 'cause then it'll never happen. So the little snippets are, something that's doable, manageable, and then also answering the questions, writing journal, reflection.

[00:23:47] And so it's a self-help in that you can do it by yourself. Or you can hire a mentor or have a book club or whatever, and you hold yourselves accountable. I have that even, for me, even [00:24:00] though I'm a senior officer, I still rely on the junior officers to, tell me, Hey, what's going on?

[00:24:07] 'cause they, teach me so much more, and some of 'em even pushed me to do certain things that I never thought I'd, get done. So don't think that just because you're the oldest in the room doesn't mean you don't have. Room to continue to grow. The ai, the, all the electronics and things like that.

[00:24:25] They're so savvy in those things that I continue to learn. So that's just like what you said with the growth mindset from beginning to end and what you need to get done now is take action. Don't wait until tomorrow 'cause tomorrow may never come. And definitely focus on yourself. Is, the main goal.

[00:24:44] Autumn Carter: So I have a client right now who. Reading is not for her. 

[00:24:51] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 

[00:24:52] Autumn Carter: She sees words on a page and she gets overwhelmed. 

[00:24:55] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 

[00:24:56] Autumn Carter: If NeuroD divergencies. So for people [00:25:00] like that, are you going to have an audiobook version in the future?

[00:25:05] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah, so I, like the way that you explained that. 'cause the main thing is people learn differently. Like for me, I'm the same way. If I see a bunch of paper, I just flip through it. But I do have artwork in here and my artist is actually, my daughter Sophia is an art major. At, one of the universities.

[00:25:23] 'cause what happened was whenever I submitted something that was somebody else's work, my publisher said, you need permission. So I emailed a bunch of people asking for permission and they never responded. And I looked at them, I was like. Sophia, go draw me some stuff, and she just whipped them up and they're in there.

[00:25:38] So the visual part, I can definitely relate that. So my plans for the future is when I created this, it actually, there was a it was an actual virtual course. I, it was a live course and that's what I do in the future have live courses and also have them hung on a website where you can watch them at your leisure.

[00:25:54] And also in the future, I'm, working on executive coaching and health coaching, so I can be available as well for [00:26:00] those that actually want one-on-one. So those are in the building process. But in the meantime, I'm using my opportunity with the book publication to help people now instead of, waiting for me to build things.

[00:26:13] Introduction and Website Updates

[00:26:13] Autumn Carter: Yeah, you have to start somewhere.

[00:26:14] Amelia Duran-Stanton: That's 

[00:26:14] Autumn Carter: right. And her website is linked in the description. So if you're listening to this. Several months a year from now. Check the description, see what updates she has on her website, because chances are pretty high that something has changed in there from what she's saying right now.

[00:26:33] Challenges of Stay-at-Home Moms

[00:26:33] Autumn Carter: Especially stay at home moms and I'm still super passionate about them because I've been there. And I've had play dates with tons of stay at home moms, and they struggled with the fact that whatever career they had now, it would be hard to get back into.

[00:26:53] But they also are no longer passionate about whatever they spent all this time on before they had children. Yes, this book sounds [00:27:00] perfect for that. It's right there. Or how many people are. We can all raise their hands. We at least know at least one person. Who feels like they're stuck in their career.

[00:27:06] They hate it. They feel like they're going nowhere. Right here, book for them, Merry Christmas, Merry, happy Birthday, whatever. Or just because gift. 

[00:27:16] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes. 

[00:27:17] Autumn Carter: We've been stuck in certain places where we feel stuck in our life. This sounds like the perfect book for that. 

[00:27:22] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes. 

[00:27:22] Favorite Book Sections

[00:27:22] Autumn Carter: And with that in mind, for the people who are watching on video, can you show us where's your favorite, like what's your favorite section there?

[00:27:30] The obituary section? Totally. 

[00:27:32] Amelia Duran-Stanton: My interest will blow you away. So the one that I really like is my daughter. It says, can you manage your time? And it's a girl just basically walking in the clock. I don't know if you can see it or not. Yeah. So that, I think that one really resonates because it's, you entering the clock and what are you gonna do with that time, can you manage it? What are you gonna do? Because you have [00:28:00] control of certain things. You don't have control of other people. 

[00:28:04] Managing Reactions and Self-Realization

[00:28:04] Amelia Duran-Stanton: 'cause one thing that I learned in a child psychology course is that your reaction is your reaction. If somebody does something to you it's your opportunity to decide.

[00:28:18] On how will you react with that? And one of my favorite quotes as well is by Eleanor Roosevelt is nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent, right? Even though somebody thinks that you're not worthy or somebody is talking badly about you or to you, it is your decision. On what you will reflect and think about on whatever somebody else is doing.

[00:28:44] You have no control of what they're doing, but you have control of how you're going to take it. So a lot of it is you, have to do something. Now, whether that be reading the book and answering one of the questions. So whatever steps you need to take, just do [00:29:00] something. I think it's, one of those things self-realization, one of those aha moments, like it, it's something that you have control of.

[00:29:07] You don't have to rely on anybody. You don't have to wait for a moment. You can do it now. 

[00:29:13] Autumn Carter: Oh, that makes me think of two different things. 

[00:29:16] Client Stories and Choosing Your Hard

[00:29:16] Autumn Carter: Another client who. First session together was just a big unload, everything. Because she did not feel like she had anyone like that. So just holding the space for that.

[00:29:28] I didn't, all I had to do was just be very present with her very in tune. Let her go and afterwards Okay. I see what you're saying. I understand how hard this is, but the first one is you need to choose your hard, because a lot of it was how much her husband was just not helping out, period. Yeah.

[00:29:51] And, misusing money, stuff like that. So it was Choose your hard. It's either with him or without [00:30:00] him. Without him, yeah. And I was thinking about it. And you just had it click in a different way because of what I was saying and what you were saying, and that you're either choosing your hard now or later.

[00:30:12] Yes. And if you're not taking care of yourself. 

[00:30:15] And I never thought about it that way. I only thought about it this direction, not the other one. And then the other one is what I was telling her our next session was, okay, you can continue focusing on him and what he's not doing. 

[00:30:34] Which is exhausting.

[00:30:36] He's not gonna change. 

[00:30:38] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 

[00:30:39] Autumn Carter: Don't just, he is who he is. You can't force a change on him. He can change, but you are not forcing that on him. He gets to decide that what you can change is you, your perception of things. Yes. And everything within this, like staying in your lane here. 

[00:30:58] And it just [00:31:00] reminded me of that. And it's so easy to go around judging other people. Wondering what they're doing. Comparing sometimes it's judge them and sometimes you're using it to really judge yourself instead. And it just comparison. 

[00:31:14] Slows you down so much. Trips you up. 

[00:31:17] Blind Spots and Self-Help Books

[00:31:17] Autumn Carter: And I really like how what you're saying in your book really helps to bring that in play.

[00:31:24] And it sounds like it also helps you through going through this workbook. What are my blind spots going on here? Especially if you're spending time talking about what childhood was like if you had trauma. Yeah, that's me by the way. And writing your obituary, it really helps you to see where you've always been dreaming of these things.

[00:31:44] And you feel so called to do the things or several things, and it gives you that opportunity to see where are you making progress on those things and where are you not? Huge blind spot right there. And it sounds like there are several others that are going to come up with these blind spots and [00:32:00] think of your blind spots as like you're driving in literal blind spots that you don't have.

[00:32:05] And for some of us, we have some pretty big ones and some of us have pretty small ones. And sometimes, like for me, it depends on what the situation is. And I'll have these big aha moments to tell someone. They'll be like, you already knew that I'm like me anyway. The great thing about having a coach is they will lovingly show that to you.

[00:32:24] Yes. And that's the great thing about workbooks. 

[00:32:26] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Loving but stern. 

[00:32:27] Autumn Carter: Especially because you're not paying them to be your friend 

[00:32:30] Amelia Duran-Stanton: yeah, that's right. 

[00:32:31] Autumn Carter: They're gonna give it to you where a friend will well no, it's actually their fault. Because I love you and it could never be your fault when you're over here saying, no, I know something.

[00:32:43] I'm at fault here. You need somebody else. So I love it. 

[00:32:46] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 'cause when you listen to a friend, I call it the blind leading the blind. 'cause you're commiserating. But in the end it's who helped? Who or what just happened where. But sometimes it's still helpful. But having a coach that's outside of your [00:33:00] life and actually is able to give you an honest assessment.

[00:33:03] 'cause that's what, you really need. 

[00:33:05] Autumn Carter: And it's not an echo chamber. We're your friend, you're friends for a reason. 

[00:33:08] Amelia Duran-Stanton: That's right. 

[00:33:08] Autumn Carter: Is there anything else that you wanna share from this? I feel like I need to scroll through your outline 'cause you had so much here, but I know we don't wanna give them everything.

[00:33:16] Ah, that's right. What books for and that's what you're for. 

[00:33:16] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 

[00:33:17] Morning Routines and SAVERS

[00:33:17] Amelia Duran-Stanton: So what, I think is, like what you were saying, it doesn't matter how many books you read, how many videos you watch, it's you taking just one action, whatever that is. It doesn't have to be. Anything that's on the top of your list, just something to make sure that you're improving every day, whether that be waking up five minutes earlier so you can read whatever.

[00:33:41] If you're religious, read your Bible or read something that will help you that day, whatever you're tackling. So even that. Small change of that five minutes. 'cause what it is it's a mindset. If you say, I'm gonna wake up an hour earlier tomorrow, it's that's never gonna happen. I don't wanna sleep in, you're gonna keep snoozing.

[00:33:58] But if you just say [00:34:00] something doable, five minutes, I'll wake up five minutes and, read something and focus on myself. 'cause once the kids wake up, the spouse wakes up and it's just chaos after that. So even just a few minutes of waking up to focus on yourself. Is enough of a new change that you probably weren't doing a day before.

[00:34:19] So I think that sends a message that you don't have to take a big chunk in making a change, just something doable on a daily basis, and they'll stack up like atomic habits. That book is saying that even though you make one small change, it will definitely exponentially be noticeable, just like with the, saving a penny a day and it doubles or whatever and do it early so it can help you in the long run. 

[00:34:46] Autumn Carter: See, and I was gonna go the other direction. So I read Miracle Morning. I don't know if you've ever read it really good. Yeah. I can, save you by giving you guys the cliff notes, but it's really good.

[00:34:52] I recommend reading it. But the Cliff notes basically is you're making sure that you are going to bed earlier and you are setting up your day [00:35:00] by having this space that is just for you, right? And this space where you're exercising, where you're journaling, he calls 'em savers. So it's scribing. I do 'em all, but I added extra things and I added Duolingo in, so I don't even know.

[00:35:16] Oh my 

[00:35:16] Amelia Duran-Stanton: God. I do. Duolingo 

[00:35:17] Autumn Carter: also SAVERS. I don't even know. You call. That's hilarious. But in with this, and this is why it correlates with the workbook, is you're spending time. Reading. Yes. And you're reading those self-help type books? So look, there's other weirdos like me. Yay. Yes. And I added scriptures in with mine and piano, which I have not been doing that during the summer, so I would need to pick that back up.

[00:35:40] Yeah. And exercise is in there. 

[00:35:45] And for me I already have myself signed up at a class, so it's somewhere where I'm going and I get to be social. Yes. So good. Filling my cup. What else am I missing? Affirmation. So he has a lot of different things in there. 

[00:35:57] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 

[00:35:58] Autumn Carter: If you're doing those [00:36:00] things and you're setting yourself up for that success in the day, then you have already filled your cup.

[00:36:05] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes. 

[00:36:06] Autumn Carter: So when you go downstairs and the dog threw up and the child doesn't have their favorite outfit and they're throwing a tantrum and. If you drink coffee, I don't. But if you're coffee maker, broke, whatever, you've already done all these things and you can then take out a little bit of money from your bank of, yeah, okay.

[00:36:24] I'm glad I took care of myself 'cause now I'm already feeling frazzled. You've already set yourself up. And another thing that's in there that's really huge for me is meditation. Just having that quiet. I have four kids, so I have that quiet chaos, 

[00:36:41] Amelia Duran-Stanton: right? 

[00:36:42] Autumn Carter: Yes. Yeah. And I found that it's so much better.

[00:36:45] Then having it at night. Yes. I put my kids to bed early. Half of that is so that I have quiet at night, but I'm not mandatory staying up later to have that quiet time. 

[00:36:55] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 

[00:36:56] Autumn Carter: Staying up later to get that project done instead, when I wake up [00:37:00] earlier, then I get that really happy. Gray area where the kids might be off doing something else and I can work on it a little bit longer in the morning where as I'm staying up later and then they wake up earlier and I'm crappy.

[00:37:10] Amelia Duran-Stanton: That's right. 

[00:37:11] Autumn Carter: I really like this and use the really quick SAVERS and has some time for yourself in the morning and have her workbook in with that because you're already having some journaling in there. 

[00:37:25] Amelia Duran-Stanton: And you're 

[00:37:25] Autumn Carter: having some time to read and some self-reflection and there's visualization in there.

[00:37:30] That was part of the savers is visualization. Yes. So it sounds like this workbook already checks off several of the savers for the Miracle Morning. 

[00:37:39] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes, absolutely. Yeah. 'cause there's so much out there, but I think as long as you're doing something, like I said, there are so many self-help books, but they're not gonna matter if you're not taking that one little step.

[00:37:51] Forward to make a difference for yourself, right? 

[00:37:56] Autumn Carter: And I have learned so much about myself [00:38:00] from reading them and then finding other people who nerd out on self-help books. And then we can have those discussions and be like, okay, wait, you read this book and you're not doing that?

[00:38:11] Kind that reminder of, oh yeah, I should be doing that. 

[00:38:13] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Doing that. 

[00:38:13] Autumn Carter: Have those, Find your people moment. From reading them and finding. Their social media account, and you'll find other people who are following whatever book it is that you're following. So you can find your people in that way.

[00:38:30] Yes. Which I think is so fun, and it's always so much easier when you have somebody else doing it with you. Yeah. And you mentioned that do it with a friend. 

[00:38:39] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes. And I think the things that we talk about are universal. If you go to another country, it's not just. You thinking, oh, it's just us in the us But when, it comes to any of these things it's a universal thing where everybody probably has mom things that they have to do or spouse [00:39:00] issues and things like that.

[00:39:01] But we're universally mentor, not nurturing, like we want to help other people but, the detriment of that is we're not focusing on ourselves. So just take a pause. Take a chill pill and do something for yourself. 'cause in the long run, just like that, gas mask, you'll help more people when you help yourself First.

[00:39:28] Personal Growth and New Hobbies

[00:39:28] Autumn Carter: For me, I went back to school when my oldest was seven months old. I felt like I was starting to run out of things to talk about with my husband. 'cause all I was talking about was being a stay-at-home mom at that point. 

[00:39:38] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 

[00:39:38] Autumn Carter: And it was such a transition to go. I had worked since I was in eighth grade, my dad owned his own business.

[00:39:46] Whether I wanted to work for him or not, I had be labor or, yes. And I honestly started working. 

[00:39:53] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Third 

[00:39:53] Autumn Carter: grade, but I started being paid in eighth grade. 

[00:39:55] Amelia Duran-Stanton: You paid in eighth grade? 

[00:39:56] Autumn Carter: Yeah. 

[00:39:57] Amelia Duran-Stanton: I 

[00:39:57] Autumn Carter: started out $3 an hour. Woo. Way under 50. [00:40:00] Anyway. So working all my life and then going to this, being a stay at home mom.

[00:40:05] That was hard. 

[00:40:06] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 

[00:40:07] Autumn Carter: And I felt like I had nothing to talk about with him, so it was really nice to go back to school and have new. Ideas, conversations and everything else. And then having this podcast and coaching other people and diving even further into my self-help habit has been amazing.

[00:40:24] We have so much more to talk about between his work, his interests, my interests, my work, I started getting into pickleball and then oh my God. He got into it too. Yeah. And he's better than me. Yeah, it's so not fair. It's so annoying. So much better than me. So annoying. I did soccer in high school.

[00:40:40] Oh you did? Yeah. Awkward. It makes me feel better. He's really good eye hand coordination. For me, I wanted to pick up something that would be hard for me. Yeah. Which, yes, great. 

[00:40:50] Didn't fall in love with it is to be so much better. You know that whole staying in my lane, looking at the other person.

[00:40:55] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes. 

[00:40:56] Autumn Carter: Yeah. My blind spot. But it's so [00:41:00] great to have things like that and I think. Having that time to really work on yourself. No, I know. Having that time to work on yourself gives you things to talk about, gives you new connections with people, deeper connections. I don't know have any of you that are listening, had friends forever and you've had them for so long that you guys are stuck in the same place and you don't really have anything else to talk about or with.

[00:41:22] This is your indication that you guys need to do more in your life, so you have things to talk about. 

[00:41:27] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Move on. 

[00:41:28] Autumn Carter: And that's the whole point of a workbook. This is really where do you wanna be in life? Let's get you back on track. One of my aunts went into retirement saying she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life.

[00:41:40] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. Give her this book. 

[00:41:42] Autumn Carter: Yeah. Or like you were talking about people who are retired and they didn't take good enough care of themselves. That they can't get themselves through that park. Or, I have a friend whose parents finally retired to Florida a decade later than they should have [00:42:00] and they now can't enjoy Florida.

[00:42:02] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. Definitely a lot of lessons learned from other people. Like I said, you have all these lessons all around you, but it's up to you to take action in whatever that is. Otherwise you'll be in the same boat as they are making the same mistakes.

[00:42:18] Autumn Carter: And there we like to say, don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today. However, if it's sleep, don't do that. But outside of that, make some forward progress. Even if it's just one step each, one step, like you were saying. 

[00:42:32] It can be the tiniest step, but make sure you're making momentum because 20 years from now you'll look back and it will seem like you've gone so much further.

[00:42:42] Compared to if you're just comparing yourself to yesterday, 

[00:42:45] Amelia Duran-Stanton: That's right. And even with the exercise, like the couch example that you made 'cause of course diet is always important, but the making steps in exercising. If you do [00:43:00] one pushup today and then two tomorrow, you know that, and then you can see incrementally how much more you can do on a later date.

[00:43:08] 'cause even if you're just doing one. One a day or one more a day. 

[00:43:13] Autumn Carter: I love that. Instead of just being annoyed that you can't do 200 in one setting. That's right. 

[00:43:17] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Or being jealous if somebody can do a plank for five hours, I'm like, I can only do a plank less than. Two minutes. 

[00:43:25] Autumn Carter: I'd rather do a plank for two minutes, not five hours.

[00:43:28] 'cause I have stuff to do, but Yes. Yeah. Gimme a whole martial arts. I'd rather do that. More fun, different 

[00:43:35] Amelia Duran-Stanton: priorities. 

[00:43:36] Autumn Carter: Yeah. I'm not somebody who likes to be on a treadmill. I need something different. I will hike. I love hiking because you're seeing something different and there better be something good to look at the end of my hike.

[00:43:48] I need that kind of motivation and I really love nature. So it's also about finding your jam. And what I love about coaching and where I really start with coaching is going [00:44:00] through the whys. 

[00:44:01] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 

[00:44:02] Autumn Carter: Because sometimes we have these things that are shoulds. And when we really dive into it, we are doing things because we feel like we should do them because society expects us or blah, blah, blah.

[00:44:14] And it's not really the thing that lights us up. And that is unique to us in our own journey. Yes. Yeah. I can tell you're the same way. 

[00:44:24] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes, I am. 

[00:44:25] Autumn Carter: Is there anything you wanna leave us with? 

[00:44:28] Final Thoughts and Book Promotion

[00:44:28] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah, so the main thing is we already talked about how important it is to help yourself first, but also you can't do it alone, so get, your battle buddy. That's what we call it in, the military. Get your battle buddy. Get your sister, get your bestie. It's always more fun and more enjoyable and more rewarding when you're bringing everybody else up along with you. That's definitely something that I. Want to message to your audience help yourself, but don't go at it alone.

[00:44:59] [00:45:00] You have help. 

[00:45:02] Autumn Carter: I love that. Because we are the sum of the eight people that we spend the most time with. 

[00:45:07] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yes, that's right. 

[00:45:08] Autumn Carter: That doesn't always mean that we need to choose new eight people. Yeah. Sometimes it's come along with me, let's do this together. Yes. Type of thing. So I love that. Especially if you wanna keep your same eight people, just, that's right. Thank you so much for being on, this was so fun, and I loved the name of your book as soon as I heard about it, when it came across my desk, because the idea of Lotus, the Lotus Flowers so beautiful, and even just seeing the image gives me that extra exhale, that extra piece.

[00:45:44] Amelia Duran-Stanton: Yeah. 'cause the Lotus is a flower that grows in mud and also in the dark. So that's the thing about it is you don't have to wait until you see sunlight or if you're moved somewhere else. And then also it's also an acronym. So Lotus is Life of Timeless [00:46:00] Unbound Strategies. So a lot of little cool stuff that I put in there.

[00:46:05] So definitely I hope it helps your audience and it's been a pleasure talking to you. Thank you so much for having me. 

[00:46:13] Autumn Carter: Now we're definitely gonna remember the name of the book. That's right. So yay. Thank you. Bye 

[00:46:16] Amelia Duran-Stanton: bye.

[00:46:18] Autumn Carter: Thanks for tuning into this week's episode. I am your host, autumn Carter, a certified life coach dedicated to empowering individuals to rediscover their identity, find balance, miss chaos, strengthen relationships, and pursue their dreams. My goal is to help people thrive in every aspect of their lives. I hope today's discussion inspired you and offered valuable insights.

[00:46:40] Stay engaged with our wellness community by signing up for my newsletter at wellness and every season.com/free resources. When you join, you'll have the option to receive a five day guide called Awaken and Unwind, five Days to Mastering Your Mornings and Evenings, along with Free Guides, special offers on my [00:47:00] programs, practical tips, personal stories.

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[00:47:23] So please spread the word about our podcast and about our newsletter. Thank you for being a part of our podcast community. I look forward to continuing our conversation, sharing stories and exploring wellness in all of this aspects. Take care until our next episode. You can also work with me one-on-one or on demand through one of my programs by visiting wellness in every season.com/programs.

[00:47:50] One last thing to cover the show legally, I'm a certified life coach giving general advice, so think of this, this more as a self-help book. This [00:48:00] podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, so this podcast shouldn't be taken as a replacement for professional guidance from a doctor or therapist.

[00:48:10] If you want personal one-on-one coaching from a certified life and parenting coach, go to my website, wellness and every season.com. That's where you can get personalized coaching from me for you. See you in next week's episode.