Wellness In Every Season

Episode 159: Skincare and Stress

• Autumn Carter/ Dr. Jeanne Retief • Season 1 • Episode 159

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When your mind runs hot, your skin often tells the story—and in this episode, that story becomes a path to relief. Dr. Jeanne Retief joins Autumn to trace the invisible thread between anxiety and the skin, sharing how panic disorder reshaped her life and inspired FIGGI Beauty, a line created for dry, sensitive skin. Together they unpack why stress can spark burning, redness, itching, and breakouts, how cortisol and the fight-or-flight response sensitize nerve endings just beneath the skin, and why gentle, consistent routines can feel like shade on a too-bright day.


You’ll hear practical ways to build a soothing toolkit that fits real life—from nontraditional “meditation” moments like swinging, gardening, or sipping tea, to sunscreen habits that protect without overwhelm. Dr. Jeanne also explains why she chose antioxidant-rich green rooibos extract as FIGGI’s hero ingredient and how FIGGI Soul extends the work inward with down-to-earth support for living with anxiety without the pressure to be “fixed.”


Explore FIGGI Beauty and FIGGI Soul at figgibeauty.com, and connect with Dr. Jeanne on Instagram at @figgi.beauty. If this conversation helps you breathe a little easier in your own skin, share it with someone who needs that same exhale.

For more wellness tips and exclusive content, join my newsletter! Sign up now at https://wellness-in-every-season.kit.com/5-days-to-mastering-mornings-and-evenings receive a free 5-day guide called "Awaken and Unwind: 5 Days to Mastering Life's Mornings and Evenings."

Episode 159: Anxiety and Skincare with Dr. Jeanne Retief

[00:00:00] Introduction and Guest Welcome

[00:00:00] Autumn Carter: This is episode 1 59. We are going to be talking with Dr. Jeannie Retief about skincare and wellness support through all the seasons of life and how it relates to our mental health.

[00:00:14] Welcome to Wellness In Every Season, the podcast where we explore the rich tapestry of wellness in all of its forms. I'm your host, autumn Carter, a certified life coach, turn wellness coach, as well as a certified parenting coach dedicated to empowering others to rediscover their identity in their current season of life.

[00:00:33] My goal is to help you thrive, both as an individual and as a parent.

[00:00:37] Thank you for being on.

[00:00:39] I am so grateful that you're here. I am excited about this topic that we're gonna be talking about.

[00:00:45] Dr. Jeannie Retief's Journey

[00:00:45] Autumn Carter: Can you tell us about your journey? I love starting here because it is so fun to hear how everybody's journey is so unique and it's just fun seeing that evolution. 

[00:00:58] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: Thank you so much for [00:01:00] having me.

[00:01:00] I am so excited to be here. I am Jean. I was previously an expert in international human rights and the laws of war. I had my own consultancy and I worked in that field for around 17 years. But I was diagnosed with panic disorder and it really derailed my life and it was caused by a lot of post-traumatic trauma that I didn't deal with.

[00:01:36] So it was like this avalanche of things happening that sent me into a really big downward spiral. I, was just forced to make really hard decisions about my life and what comes next. So I'm definitely not one of those people who founded this new company because I was brave enough to change careers or do something different.

[00:01:58] This was [00:02:00] friendly, forced on me by life. 

[00:02:08] Autumn Carter: Wow. And I wonder how much of it was the post-traumatic stress from your life versus from your career? Seeing all those things really impacts as well. 

[00:02:20] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: I don't think it was ever in the forefront of my mind that was one of the main things.

[00:02:25] I think in terms of my career, it was more that kind of, secondary post-traumatic stress, because I wasn't directly connected to it. Or I never made that connection. It very well could have been. It's just not the way that I saw it. I think what was more adding to the pressure of that from a career perspective was the fact that I was on a extremely difficult schedule.

[00:02:51] So I was traveling a lot. I was often tired, sleeping. Very minimally working very long [00:03:00] hours. And that's just also my personality, always wanting to achieve, being better, doing more, being a perfectionist. So I think it more came from that kind of point of view. Combined with all of these things that I needed to digest from my life.

[00:03:18] Understanding Anxiety and Panic Disorders

[00:03:18] Autumn Carter: What other symptoms do you see? 

[00:03:20] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: I often explain it this way and I preface it by saying that obviously I have a type of anxiety disorder. There are many different types. So I really, know what it feels like to live with this and how it impacts.

[00:03:35] Literally every facet of your life. Every single day. And I have such compassion and empathy for it. But when I was diagnosed, it was before the entire world was anxious. Okay. So it wasn't a conversation like we have today. It was highly stigmatized. I didn't even know something like this existed. I was so angry at my doctors because I thought that they were [00:04:00] just telling me this because they didn't know what was wrong with me and because they couldn't tell me what was wrong with me, they're just gonna tell me it's just stress, which I now know it isn't. But, Yeah, I think my first big panic attack was when I was away for my human rights career. I was not staying in a very good area, as I often did, and I was at the hotel completely normali night, nothing out of the ordinary.

[00:04:26] And then I just started losing my vision. It went like black and purple spots and then it completely went away, which was. Super disorientating. Then I started shaking uncontrollably. Like my right hand was shaking literally from my knee to my shoulders, so I had to physically restrain it. I lost feeling in my left.

[00:04:49] Hand and arm and my left knee down to my foot. My toes went numb. I started having these really intense heart [00:05:00] palpitations and a choking sensation that I couldn't breathe. The room started spinning around me, so I thought that I was having a stroke. And when I found the front desk, I asked them for.

[00:05:13] An ambulance which was also hard to come by. So yeah, it was not a very fun situation. Getting to the hospital. The doctors there thought I was on some kind of drug. It was just a horrible experience. And this just ensued into a barrage of like. Is there something wrong with my brain?

[00:05:35] Is it neurological? Is it some kind of cardiac thing? I had so many gastroenterology tests, every single test you could think of, and then at the end of it all, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and then later specifically with panic disorder. 

[00:05:54] Autumn Carter: Wow. That's, yeah. That's so scary to feel like [00:06:00] your whole body's falling apart.

[00:06:01] You don't know why. And it made me think about a friend of mine who's going through a divorce. I've been coaching her through this. She's divorcing a narcissist, so there's a lot of mind games going on, and she's had that where she thought she was literally dying, needed to go to the hospital, and then one of her children have as well.

[00:06:22] It just brought it even more home like this is what she was experiencing for me. And I remember I did not have an experience nearly that big, but I had it where I couldn't breathe. My eyes were very out of focus, and it was right after I came home from visiting my stepdad in the hospital. He had emergency heart surgery and.

[00:06:47] I flew across the country for it. I was 19 and I just remember my body decompressing and just, yeah. Feeling that and feeling that I don't know what's going on. Thankfully someone was with me at the time [00:07:00] and understood what was going on and was able to help me through it. Yeah, which was surprising because he was a terrible boyfriend in all the other aspects, but in that moment he was great.

[00:07:15] The Impact of Mental Health on Physical Health

[00:07:15] Autumn Carter: It just brings to mind how much we, like you said we talk about mental health so much more in our society, but there's still so much missing. 

[00:07:30] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: There is a lot missing, but I also think the conversation is. There are these two polar opposites to me. Yes, there are key parts missing, but the conversation is also so full and oversaturated with misinformation and disinformation

[00:07:44] as somebody who really struggles with this I could perhaps just tell you, to give you an idea of what I'm saying. There are many different types of anxiety disorders you can have generalized anxiety disorder, P-T-S-D-O-C-D panic [00:08:00] disorder. All of these have different symptoms and different diagnostic measurements, which is why it's so important to be.

[00:08:11] Correctly diagnosed by a psychologist, psychiatrist, dealing with anxiety because your body is always in that fight or flight state. A lot of different things start showing up in your life, like really severe gut issues.

[00:08:27] I just, this last year went through. So many tests and diets and, adjustments again to try and just get onto a good level with that. I was tested for sibu and Crohn's disease and, all sorts of things. You have insomnia, you get night terrors. You have a fear of leaving the house of. Spaces with a lot of people, noise lights, all of these things you have to constantly manage just to show up [00:09:00] normally in the world every day.

[00:09:03] We're so used to it being okay to not feel any of the bad emotions because we have so many options to just avoid those that I think we're teaching our kids and. People have learned that whenever they feel an uncomfortable emotion, they can label it as something. More than that. We're all feeling stressed.

[00:09:21] We're all, we all get angry and frustrated. Those aren't fun emotions, but it's the natural human experience of life. Just because you're having a particularly stressful time at work does not necessarily mean you have an anxiety disorder. Yes, you may need temporary assistance and somebody to guide you through that, but.

[00:09:43] Equally, just because you're going through a very sad period doesn't mean you are depressed. So it's so important for me to note that because again, I come from a place of compassion and understanding and empathy. But it's also because, I come from [00:10:00] that place that I understand how much the people in my community are struggling and we are having to contend with trying to explain the way that we are wired.

[00:10:08] And defending it because of this noise from the outside world coming in and labeling us as certain things in certain ways. And it just makes your daily fight to survive so much harder 

[00:10:24] Autumn Carter: Yes. I have PTSD from my childhood and. I've come a long way and worked with a somatics coach and that helped me come even further than therapy was able to get me.

[00:10:35] It makes sense how stress.

[00:10:40] How PTSD, how anxiety, how depression they affect us on a cellular level. I drink smoothie every day. To get enough fruits and vegetables. I am way more of a fruit person than a vegetable person. My daughter and I put us together and we all have the best diet ever.

[00:10:56] 'cause she loves vegetables more than fruit, which she's [00:11:00] weird. Anyway I take extra fiber on top of that because I have gut issues thanks to my childhood and just that idea of it affecting you cellularly and how I am rewiring my body to remember that. I don't need to hold onto this stress. Even with having four children, a business, two high, energy dogs, the life that I choose to live, it's way less stress than I had in my childhood.

[00:11:33] And I have to remind myself I don't need to be go, I'm used to that from my childhood and that I can release some of that. I have to remind myself of these things and it is important to figure out what is that actual emotion, not the first one that comes to mind. Like really label it to help release it.

[00:11:54] That works for me at least because only one I was allowed to show as a child was anger. [00:12:00] So is it really anger or is it something else? Is something that I need to ask myself and I hardly ever feel actual anger. It's frustration, it's annoyance, it's something else. And realizing that the anger that I felt growing up wasn't my own and I don't need to be an angry person.

[00:12:18] It just releases so much of that, realizing that. 

[00:12:23] Skincare and Mental Health Connection

[00:12:25] Autumn Carter: So let's switch gears a little bit what does this have to do with skincare? 

[00:12:28] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: Yeah. The thing is that we are so aligned with the idea, like even you just said, how you're affected at a cellular level by what goes on in the mind, and it's so natural for us to understand that it affects the gut and you're gonna perhaps have some gut issues.

[00:12:50] It affects the heart and your blood pressure, but we never stop to think how it affects the skin, which is actually the largest organ. Body, [00:13:00] so it would only make sense that it is going to show up on your skin. One of these myriad of daily symptoms that I told you about for me is really sensitive skin.

[00:13:15] And the reason that happens is because two distinct parts of the brain go through this whole process to knock out the alarm glass when you're in that fight or flight state. And then it gets you ready to fight to protect yourself, to run away from the lion. And when that happens, your brain dumps this cortisol and adrenaline into your body so that it can make you move, make you be fast, make you be strong, and that shoots to all of your nerve endings in order to be able to do that.

[00:13:47] All of your most sensitive nerve endings are just beneath the first layer of skin. So that would then explain this burning sensation, the itching, the redness, the [00:14:00] breakouts, the flare-ups in rosacea, eczema dermatitis which a lot of people with these sensitive skin conditions will probably tell you do get worse when they're really stressed or anxious.

[00:14:14] There is such a direct connection between what happens in an anxious mind and how that shows up in your largest organ, your skin. 

[00:14:27] Autumn Carter: If I was stressed out around my period, it would show up.

[00:14:30] Yeah. But it makes me wonder, I bet there's not a scientific study, but I struggle with saying the actual name, but the bumps that you have, the chicken skin, the bumps that you have on your skin. Yes. I wonder if a majority of the people who have that have been through something traumatic in their childhood.

[00:14:47] Although my husband has it and he had a great childhood, I don't know. And I know that I, my skin thinks I'm a vampire. It does not like very much sun. And as I've been healing that stuff [00:15:00] within myself, I can handle the sun more. I can handle mosquito bites and not have it itch so bad a week later that I'm scratching in my sleep to the point of it bleeding, like now they can actually heal.

[00:15:11] It's very interesting that we're talking about this 'cause my husband and I were just talking about this several weeks ago. He has noticed that I can stand to be in the sun more without having a skin rash from it. And that when we went out of the country and there's tons of mosquitoes in this country and I recovered faster.

[00:15:30] So it is interesting that we're having this conversation now. I'm so happy that 

[00:15:35] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: it makes sense to you. It's, always so enlightening. To see how kind of the light bulb goes on when you say it in this way, because especially what you're saying now about your sun sensitivity, you can imagine if your body is going through this.

[00:15:51] It's shooting through every single nerve. Ending your skin is literally from top to toe. If you think of having pain in your chest, you can feel it. This [00:16:00] area in your chest doesn't feel well or having pain in your gut or your tummy, you can feel it's cramping and that area doesn't, feel well.

[00:16:07] But your skin is literally your scalp until the bottom parts of your feet. So feeling uncomfortable head to toe because of these weird sensations, whether it be sensitivity, redness, itching, scratching is extremely significant and has a very obvious impact on the quality of your life.

[00:16:35] Autumn Carter: What have you done about 

[00:16:37] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: In your own 

[00:16:37] Autumn Carter: life? 

[00:16:38] Creating Figi Beauty

[00:16:38] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: So I founded Figi Beauty, which is a skincare line for dry sensitive skin. I'm South African and I formulated it with South African Green Ous tea extract.

[00:16:51] I like. Research and facts and statistics and proof, and there is just so many decades of scientific evidence behind [00:17:00] Oz and its anti-inflammatory properties. It's soothing properties, both taken as a tea and used as skincare application in many baby BU creams and rash creams. In South Africa, we have robots because it is so soothing and so anti-inflammatory.

[00:17:16] It's. Such a unique antioxidant. So that's the hero ingredient in all of our products. And the point of these products are to really just try and bring your skin. Externally back to a good foundation from which you can build upon. And then the figi soul element of that is working internally and understanding why is showing up on your skin, where is the anxiety coming from?

[00:17:44] What is causing it? And making that connection between what goes on within shows without. And what is without is within. 

[00:17:56] Autumn Carter: There have been studies with living [00:18:00] in.

[00:18:01] Communities that have high toxins. So think pollution and skincare there. I remember the studies were done in Asia, which has some of the worst air pollution around. And it was very interesting. Of course they did it with lungs, but then having it done on the skin was. Super interesting to hear about.

[00:18:23] I was too young to really absorb all of it, but I had in my mind, I wanna live somewhere with clean air. So I grew up in Arizona, in Southern Arizona where the air is cleaner. And now I live in Maryland where there's tons of trees and we don't always have the best air quality, but I like that.

[00:18:41] And that's always been important to me is having good air quality. We even have air purifiers in our house that showed up around COVID.

[00:18:49] And we still measure our air quality and we can tell the difference. And it's important to us because we also have dogs and one of them sheds a lot. They're [00:19:00] both the same breed, but one sheds a lot and one doesn't go figure. And we also love spending time outside and we have grass.

[00:19:07] So all of those different allergens and for some reason, I've been itchy lately. I have not figured out why. I think it's a new lotion that I have and it feels so much better when I can ignore my skin and just enjoy my life

[00:19:27] be out in the world, be focused on my wellness and just that alignment feeling, be focused on helping other people, my family coaching and not worried about things falling apart or how I'm itchy or things are flaring up. My question for you, because I am the typical American that does not understand not cultures, but like how much sun?

[00:19:58] Yeah. How much stronger is [00:20:00] the sun for you, where you live is what I'm trying to ask. 

[00:20:03] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: It's weird because I'm from South Africa, but now we live in Portugal. So obviously the African sun is. Almost all year round. Really hot and brutal. But the sun in Portugal is actually, for me being worse because I recently learned, which probably everybody knows and I just didn't, the sun's angle here is so much different between the southern and the northern hemispheres, I don't know if that's true, but it certainly makes sense to me because the sun here feels a lot more.

[00:20:38] Unfiltered and raw. There's no protection between you and the sun. Even when you go outside and you're wearing sunglasses, your eyes still get red and irritated. The, light is just so intense. So I would say, yeah the sun, here is pretty intense, but [00:21:00] in many places in the US it could be the same.

[00:21:02] Autumn Carter: Yes, in Arizona. It's very interesting. In Arizona, you get a different kind of tan compared to if you're in Florida. Yeah, more red. In Arizona. In Florida, it's more brown. My husband and I were just in the Dominican Republic over Easter, we were in the Dominican Republic and that sun is so strong.

[00:21:23] Wow. We all got tans, even though we were putting on sunscreen and covering. My goodness. Wow. So it definitely makes a difference. So that's why I was asking because you. Created the skincare line, but you live in an area where the sun is more unfiltered and you grew up in an area where the sun is there year round, like me in Arizona.

[00:21:45] Even talking to dermatologists, when I let them know that my husband and I are from Arizona, they're like, oh, you definitely need to be coming in once a year. Adamant about, here are the guidelines, because skin cancer is a lot more prevalent for, say, Arizona and Florida, [00:22:00] where

[00:22:00] it's hot, you're not wearing as many clothes. And when we grew up, sunscreen wasn't as hot of a topic. It was starting to become a hotter topic. And my family was a little more against sunscreen, especially my dad. He didn't like the feeling of it on his skin, so he didn't really think to put it on us.

[00:22:19] He didn't really think about our Kara as children anyway, but an aside, oh, I'm sorry about that. I'm doing better. My half brother's not, hopefully he'll get there. I help him out little ways that I can, but he's not receptive yet, and at the end of the day, my dad is the one who has to live with it.

[00:22:39] So yeah I'm the change maker in the family. I have known that since I was able to have a thought. It felt like I knew that I was different enough for my family and that I was supposed to be the change maker. There's something about having that knowledge, [00:23:00] but that's an aside.

[00:23:04] Personal Wellness Routines

[00:23:04] Autumn Carter: It's very interesting seeing your skin and how you look like you're glowing and you look like you are someone who is aware of how much sun you're getting. 

[00:23:15] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: Yeah, I'm very vigilant about that, and I'm very dedicated to my sunscreen routine. I know that none of us, not even me and all my dedication, uses sunscreen correctly.

[00:23:29] The right amount of sunscreen would literally be two full lines on these fingers just for your face, three times a day, even more. You're swimming. I teach my daughter that as well before she leaves for school in the morning before we leave the house. I have a sunscreen for my arms and my shoulders, and I have one for my face and my neck, and I reapply during the day.

[00:23:53] I do try to do my best with that because my skin is so sensitive. I have to be extra [00:24:00] careful with that because my skin gets really painful with too much sun exposure, and I'm just also not somebody that likes to bathe in the sun. I'm more of a shade girl. 

[00:24:12] Autumn Carter: My mom would laugh at me.

[00:24:14] She'd always call me white girl because she has more of the Polish ancestry than I do. Yes. Just because I have my dad's blood as well and she would love to sunbathe and I would be out there for five minutes and say Nope. And go sit in the shade. I've always been more of a shade girl, so she always called me her white girl.

[00:24:31] Plus I don't tan, I burn. My husband will start to get a sunburn and then it turns to a tan. It's so rude. Anyway, I don't love wearing a ton of sunscreen still. I'll apply it. But I know that I'm not doing it enough, so instead I cover up. I stand in the shade. I wear hats. I wear long sleeve shirts when I'm outside, if I'm outside for very long.

[00:24:53] Because for me, it's not the scare of skin cancer. I'd be surprised if I ever get it with [00:25:00] how little sun my skin allows. It's more once I go over my skin threshold, then I need to be outta the sun for two weeks. And it gets to the point where I have to wear driving gloves. It gets pretty harsh.

[00:25:12] So skincare routine is so important and I think even at the end of the day, it's paying attention to what is my skin trying to tell me? Is it trying to tell me it really doesn't? Like this lotion, this body wash, the laundry soap, the dryer sheets or whatever you use in your dryer.

[00:25:38] We use dryer balls with nothing on 'em. Is it trying to tell me that I need more water? Yeah. Our bodies try and tell us so many things, but we live in such a society where we are so disconnected from it, and if we really listen, our body will tell us things. As soon as my daughter starts to administrate, [00:26:00] like really having that conversation with her of listening to your body.

[00:26:03] Because I would not pay attention to this is the time of month when I need to have more iron. This is the time of month where I need to eat in this way so that I don't have as bad of cramps. This is the time of month where if I eat this, I'm gonna break out.

[00:26:19] These are the things that I need. Or even these are the times of the day when I have more energy. I was so busy trying to survive that. I did not have these gauges for myself until so much later on in life, not even that many years ago. But our body tells us all of these things, and if we spend time meditating.

[00:26:47] Checking with our bodies doing it. Whatever way makes sense for you will have the answers that we need. And I'm sure meditation for you has been helpful with anxiety [00:27:00] on top of a bunch of other tools that you've created for yourself. 

[00:27:04] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: Yeah. I think we all create a toolkit that works for your specific situation.

[00:27:10] I am very open about my. Aversion to self-help techniques just because it set me back in my journey so severely and for me it was always about.

[00:27:27] First of all, the guilt and the shame of this diagnosis and not understanding when in quotation marks, I will be normal again. Will I ever be normal again? Nevermind asking the question, what is normal? I was just thinking that what is, okay combined with my personality of wanting to just being a perfectionist, and I can do this and I can solve this.

[00:27:51] I just went into this thing of, okay, I can read all the books, I can follow all the guidelines, I can fix this, and the [00:28:00] narrative that you read, although there are many beautiful takeaways from many amazing self-help teachers. It always comes down to I was where you are now, and then I did these things and I fixed myself, and I never had a panic attack or an anxiety or whatever it is that you're struggling with again.

[00:28:18] Then I would have a panic attack and I would relapse. Which is something that's gonna happen for the rest of my life because this is just the way that I am wired. Is it gonna be more manageable? Yeah. Am I gonna hopefully have a little bit more control of it? Yes. But is it still going to be part and parcel of who I am?

[00:28:37] Something that I cannot cut away from myself, even though I may have wanted to? Yes. I would get so down on myself when this happened because now you have the panic hangover, which means you just had a panic attack. You've literally had the fear of dying. Your life has been flashing in front of your eyes.

[00:28:56] The most severe experience for me in a [00:29:00] panic attack is that absolute knowledge that you're going crazy. There is no greater imprisonment than the imprisonment of your own mind telling you that there is something deeply wrong with you. That series of mental, kind of gymnastics that you're doing in that already unbelievably heightenedly stressed state.

[00:29:23] So when you come down from that, you're depressed, you can't get out of bed. You're so fatigued, you literally can't lift your arm. You're nauseous, you have migraine attacks. It's hard to come back from that. So now I'm dealing with a panic hangover. And again, this added guilt and shame of, I did it wrong.

[00:29:40] I didn't follow all the steps. I didn't meditate the correct way. I didn't read the signals of my body. You need to be very careful with what you ingest because no one has the solution for you. No one except you. You have to take the little tidbits of what work can fit into your life and your journey and your story and your [00:30:00] trauma recovery and not place all your hope on this wonderful miracle cure.

[00:30:07] This person is telling you it's so, important in the healing journey to understand that you are wired, the way that you're wired. You're not broken. You just need to learn to read the manual. Understand what tools you need in your toolkit, which is why it's so important to have a correct diagnosis so that you can understand how to help yourself.

[00:30:33] And meditation was one of the things that was flung at me. Okay, you have an anxiety disorder, you need to meditate, which is something that's completely impossible for somebody with anxiety you probably have a perfectionist personality. You are highly anxious and sensitive. The last thing you can do is sit still close your eyes and clear your mind, and you get so much more anxious trying to do it, not being able to do it.

[00:30:58] So I've taught [00:31:00] myself other ways of doing it, whether it's on a swing and staring into space, holding a cup of tea, working in the garden, riding my bike. Anything that to me cleared my mind of these overwhelming overcrowding, nonstop real thoughts. Even if it is just for 30 seconds, one minute, one and a half minute.

[00:31:24] So those forms of meditation are the ones that I employ the most. I think it's so important to understand that it's not a one size fits all and we need to be careful to what we ingest and what we take to keep for ourselves.

[00:31:44] Autumn Carter: That went so perfectly with what I was trying to ask is how do you slow yourself down? So I love that and I think that also worked for people who have A DHD and they can't meditate and I've been. Trying to figure out how to help a few people that I coach that [00:32:00] have a DHD and knowing that meditation doesn't quite work for them unless it's so guided that it's actual visualization rather than meditation.

[00:32:09] So I love that. And it made me think about how much I loved swinging as a kid, because that was the only thing that would really clear my mind. Yeah. And sometimes I still, I'll get on swing with the kids and they'll be done swinging. I'm like, I'm not, I'm enjoying this. Yeah, that totally makes sense and it makes sense finding what works for you by tuning in with yourself, and I'm sure that the tools that worked for you one day might not work another, and because you are evolving and healing different parts, so you might not need this tool and it's time for the next tool.

[00:32:48] Have you discovered that for yourself as well? 

[00:32:50] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: Every day. I discover new tools every day. The things that worked for me a year ago are not the same things that work for me now. The things that I leaned on 20 [00:33:00] years ago don't even resonate to my life anymore. It's a constant journey.

[00:33:05] There's never a stopping point. There's never a end goal where you can say, okay, I'm healed. I've got it all. It's every single day you get up and you start again. You start over, you try again. And I used to be so exhausted by that flow of events because to me it felt like I can't do this anymore.

[00:33:27] I can't get up anymore and tell myself I have to fight this. I can't get up anymore and keep track of all of these things I need to keep in order and in balance to prevent a freak out. I just can't do it. It's exhausting. Until I shifted my focus to understanding, okay, what new can I learn today? What are the new things coming to me?

[00:33:51] What are the new insights I'm getting? The new challenges even I'm seeing with myself and some of the things that also [00:34:00] helped me was leaning into the things that I. Were labeled as the things that needed to be fixed or that were not good. And I think this happens a lot with people with A DHD as well as the zoning out feeling.

[00:34:14] You just zone out of time and place people will talk to. You don't pay attention, you're just in another universe. And I can understand, obviously this shouldn't be a great thing to happen in classrooms, in meetings, in high stress situations. But when I do these little work around meditations, I will sometimes just go sit on the grass and I'm like, who cares if I zone out?

[00:34:38] Nobody. I don't owe anybody anything at this moment. And just lean into that. And it's almost like I'm feeding the monster and placating the one kind of knocking at the door, begging for scraps. Okay, you've been fed, you've been clothed, you've been hydrated. Now we keep taking of hijacking.

[00:34:58] Autumn Carter: Yeah, it keeps [00:35:00] hijacking from happening. I like that. There's so many people who have created amazing things that have helped other people because of what they've gone through. And this sounds like this is exactly what's happened for you is that you've taken things that have been negative for you and you've created something else out of it that blesses other people.

[00:35:27] And that is the skincare routine, which I think is amazing. For me, when people say they're sorry, when they hear little bits about my childhood, it's what I walked. I don't know anything different. Childhood wise, like that's the only childhood I had. I know how much I've recovered and how much more I'm providing for my children.

[00:35:50] And it started with finding my amazing husband who had a different childhood and we've leaned into. His positive experiences and how can we make those better for our [00:36:00] children? And my children know that there are times where I need to step back because something has triggered me and I need to take care of my own wellness so I can take care of them.

[00:36:12] So I have my own wellness routine in the mornings and in the evenings. Thankfully, they don't stay up very late, so I can have my evening routine just fine, but they've been wanting to get up earlier and earlier, my two oldest. I told him, that's fine, but you need to leave me alone. Like I'm not waking up any earlier.

[00:36:29] Yeah. And if you can't leave me alone, you're waking up later with the other two so that I can have my own time and space. This isn't talk to mommy time. And my husband's even had to back me up with that when he's noticed that they're doing that and that it's starting to make me during different points of the day.

[00:36:48] I think there's so much value in finding what tools work for you, like you said, and taking the things that you're learning and sharing them with other people. I like [00:37:00] the idea of we can only pour so much from our cup, right? And the more we're pouring into our cup, the more we can easily share that with other people, whether it's our family, coworkers, people in our community, whatever.

[00:37:15] But if we are pouring from an empty cup, that negatively impacts future us. 

[00:37:22] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: 100%. I can't agree with that more for me personally, I always knew that I cannot give from an empty cup. I never struggled with that realization, but I did struggle with identifying when the cup was empty.

[00:37:36] Autumn Carter: Yes. 

[00:37:36] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: Because you just tell yourself, I got a little bit more to give. I can withdraw a little bit more. This is not so important. I can worry about this part of myself tomorrow or next week, or just get over this and then I can do it. And, I still struggle with that sometimes, but what draws me back to.[00:38:00] 

[00:38:00] Understanding that I should not be doing that. The quickest is for me, understanding how I show up for my family and my loved ones. Not because I don't care about myself, but because these types of thoughts are usually involved around that you have this obligation and this responsibility towards others.

[00:38:18] Therefore, you cannot look after yourself or you cannot afford yourself this moment. And now I notice that it's way worse for my family if I have a panic attack in front of them. If I'm down for a week after that and they all have to rally around me and support me and help me with love and kindness, but it's traumatic, then it is for me to spend an afternoon leaving work early, crying a little bit, and letting go of my emotions.

[00:38:48] And dealing with it in the moment, just the same as it is workwise. Like I had so many instances where I felt my gut was telling me it's enough, I need to take a break. [00:39:00] I'm not in a good space right now. But then you keep working and you take that one meeting and you just add one more thing because it's just one more.

[00:39:08] And then again, I end up pushing myself over the limitations that I naturally have. Get a panic attack, have the panic hungover, and now I'm out for a week more stressed than I was because now I've lost a week's worth of work. Instead of just leaving the office two hours earlier, I just losing two hours.

[00:39:32] Autumn Carter: Oh, I resonate with that so much. It's just no, I haven't earned that yet. No, I'll take a break when this happens, and then once I get there. No, I could do a little more. Yeah, I totally resonate with that. And hopefully I'm not the only one. Please tell me that we're the normal ones here saying this and what is normal, right?

[00:39:50] And I feel like we are in such a society that is just go. And I found that I have the most [00:40:00] creative ideas. I show up the best in coaching sessions. I show up as the best parent, the best wife, and best friend to my spouse, and the best version of me, period.

[00:40:13] When I am taking care of myself, when I am remembering to have that pause, and at some point this week, I'm going to have to remember this. 

[00:40:21] Final Thoughts and Farewell

[00:40:21] Autumn Carter: Do you have any golden nuggets that you wanna share with us to end with?

[00:40:24] And then where can we find you and your products? 

[00:40:31] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: It's always hard for me to share golden nuggets because of this way that I view it and that I think like what I've just explained. So I always try to come to these thinking about what has stood out for me this week? What messages have I received this week that I need to pay attention to?

[00:40:46] And what has been showing up for me this week a lot is just this idea of it is as it should be, and that is why it shall be. 

[00:40:59] Autumn Carter: Like it. [00:41:00] 

[00:41:00] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: It may not be what you want to hear or have in this moment, but it is how it should be. So it doesn't really matter how much you rile against it or get angry at it or be heartbroken about it.

[00:41:18] It's still going to be,

[00:41:18] Autumn Carter: I really like that. So where can we find you? 

[00:41:20] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: So if you want to find me, you can find me@figibeauty.com. That will redirect you to our Figi Soul Community platform, all the places where you can buy the products. If you're in the uk, you can visit our physical store in Scotland, Hamilton, you just need to go to figi beauty uk.com and it will give you everything that you need and how to order online there as well.

[00:41:48] Autumn Carter: And it'll be in the show description, but just in case people don't wanna wait that long. Can you spell it out? 

[00:41:54] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: Yeah, it's F-I-G-G-I. Beauty. You can find us on Instagram too at [00:42:00] Figi Beauty. 

[00:42:01] Autumn Carter: Perfect. I would've spelled it with a Y instead of an I. So I do that too. Thank you so much for being on and. I'm thinking at the end of this, I will probably end up retitling this episode because we talk so much about anxiety and skincare and gut health even with this.

[00:42:22] Yeah, and I know. One last thought about gut health is when I am taking care of myself, my gut's doing better. And that is my biggest marker that I'm not taking care of myself is when my gut pendulums. I even have one of my acupuncturist asks me when I see, how's your gut doing? And it's, oh. How am I doing?

[00:42:46] So I love that she asked that question. And when I was seeing my GI doctor, she was talking about mindfulness and all the things, and I'm shaking my head yes at her. And at the end I'm like, I'm actually a wellness coach. So [00:43:00] I love hearing so a medical professional talking about the things that I preach about and it makes sense

[00:43:07] we have so many indications within our bodies, and that is really the key takeaway that I'm taking from this is really what are we doing to pay attention to ourselves, to pay attention to our gas tank? If you wanna what, is our, what are all those things saying just the same as when we're in a car, like we have our own, are we paying attention to them?

[00:43:30] So yeah. Thank you for being on. Thank you. This was amazing and for rescheduling with me so that we can make, all of our time zones work. I know it was a little bit of a hardship there of me being on the east coast and you being goal and figuring out time zones, so

[00:43:47] thank you. I look forward to having you on again and sharing you with other podcasters that I know because this is really helpful. 

[00:43:57] Dr. Jeanne Retief with FIGGI Beauty: Thank you so much I, wish you the [00:44:00] best.

[00:44:01] Autumn Carter: Thanks for tuning into this week's episode. I am your host, autumn Carter, a certified life coach dedicated to empowering individuals to rediscover their identity, find balance, miss chaos, strengthen relationships, and pursue their dreams. My goal is to help people thrive in every aspect of their lives. I hope today's discussion inspired you and offered valuable insights.

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[00:45:33] One last thing to cover the show legally, I'm a certified life coach giving general advice, so think of this, this more as a self-help book. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, so this podcast shouldn't be taken as a replacement for professional guidance from a doctor or therapist.

[00:45:53] If you want personal one-on-one coaching from a certified life and parenting coach, go to my website, wellness and [00:46:00] every season.com. That's where you can get personalized coaching from me for you. See you in next week's episode.