Episode 160: Tuning Into Yourself

When was the last time you really checked in with yourself—body, brain, and heart—not just powered through?

In this solo episode, Autumn dives into what it truly means to tune into yourself, especially during seasonal shifts when your body aches more, your energy dips, and life feels just a bit “off.” She shares candidly about starting a new ADHD/anxiety medication, how it unexpectedly quieted her anxiety loop, and how that calm has revealed deeper misalignments in her life—not depression, but an invitation to realignment.

You’ll hear how small, practical tweaks—like swapping out an unsupportive office chair, adjusting a monitor height, replacing worn-out shoes, or rethinking your pillow—can dramatically reduce pain and tension. Autumn also explores self-intimacy: knowing what you need, how you like to be cared for, and where you’re still outsourcing self-knowledge to partners, professionals, or distractions like social media.

She invites you to notice where there’s friction in your day-to-day life, what your body has been trying to tell you, and what it might be time to let go of—just like the trees in fall.

Connect with Autumn and the Wellness in Every Season community through her website and social links in the show notes, and reach out if you’re ready for deeper one-on-one support.

For more wellness tips and exclusive content, join my newsletter! Sign up now at https://wellness-in-every-season.kit.com/5-days-to-mastering-mornings-and-evenings receive a free 5-day guide called "Awaken and Unwind: 5 Days to Mastering Life's Mornings and Evenings."

Transcript

Episode 160: Tuning Into Yourself

[00:00:00] Speaker: This is episode 160 talking about really tuning in with yourself.

[00:00:09] Speaker 2: Welcome to Wellness. In every season, we talk all things wellness, to help you align yourself, align with your goals, find balance in your life, and just recalibrate yourself if you are listening for the first time. Welcome, welcome. I'm so glad you're here, and let's get started in the rest of the podcast.

[00:00:34] Speaker: I am so glad you're here. This is the time of year where here in Maryland it's windy.

[00:00:42] The weather's all over the place, and I know that can be the same for a lot of you. Maybe not the wind factor, but the crazy weather back and forth factor. So this is a time of year where our bodies. Hurt and I am going to share [00:01:00] with you where I've been lately and then today to give you guys a really good idea of that check-in that you can have with yourself and what you can be doing to help yourself.

[00:01:12] So let me start off with, I have just felt so out of sorts and. The need to really tune in with why am I out of sorts, what's going on, that type of thing. I'll start off with, this was originally going to be about self intimacy and I still plan on talking about that and I'll totally tie that in, but I have been realizing through coaching people and through.

[00:01:50] Parenting and through my own self-reflection. There are so many people who are struggling [00:02:00] with neuro divergencies and they're trying all the things and nothing is quite working and I've been there and I, like I said, I know people who, others who've been there that I'm coaching, my kiddos are there, and I decided to be the Guinea pig for this, and I am having so much success.

[00:02:22] So I started a DHD medication that is an off-brand of quel Bri, I think I'm pronouncing that right. And this medication has been amazing for me with my A DHD and I did not realize, but I have undiagnosed anxiety. And the reason why I know it is because this medication. Helps with A DHD and anxiety, and also those who have OCD tendencies, which is kiddo.

[00:02:53] Number three is all of those. And then for me, I don't [00:03:00] have anxiety like at all now and I have concerns, but I don't have the anxiety. Loop, if that makes sense. it's made such a difference for me that I feel so mellow that I almost feel lethargic.

[00:03:26] And it's been that self check-in moment of, okay, it's not depression going on, what's going on? And it's leading me down the path of. What things do I need to change in my life that are out of alignment in a much deeper level? I have been suggesting this medication to others who are struggling and it's been so great for me that I started kiddo number three on it.

[00:03:52] And I'm going to be starting kiddo number two also on it. I have a [00:04:00] friend of mine who has been questioning this for years for her child, and I'm encouraging her to be more serious about trying it out. She's very concerned about her child. Having medicine because it's not something her body naturally produces.

[00:04:21] And I know so many of you also are at that point where nothing else seems to be working, but you still don't want medication. And I want to suggest to you that medication does not need to be the end all, be all. And it also does not need to be a forever thing. For me, I was on a DHD medications and it was only during the school year that I do it from third grade until I think high school and mentally I figured out, okay, this is what it feels like to be a little more level with A DHD, and I could replicate [00:05:00] that for the most part.

[00:05:02] And then for me, I've done a bunch of healing from my childhood, but I still needed just a little bit more and I was done with therapy, couldn't get any further. Worked with a somatics coach, was done there. Okay, what's next? And this very much is a healing journey that we all are on. Okay, what's next? I've done this.

[00:05:21] This is my limit here. I can't get any further. I've plateaued what's next? And. It goes with the Maslow's hierarchy of needs where, okay, I've met this, now I have a new need that I need to fulfill a new level. And it can get frustrating because you feel like I wanna get to this part where I arrive.

[00:05:43] But maybe that's the point, is we never fully arrive. So all of that to say that it's allowed me, like I said, the space to what is out of alignment. And I started today with why can I not stand to sit at [00:06:00] my desk? And I spent time with my ai. I call my chat GPT, chatty and I use it for a lot of different things and I use it like a search engine. That's the way to describe it. The best, like a better than Google search engine. And I went through and why am I so uncomfortable with my desk? And it started with this chair. When I put my head back, it pulls out my hair for one thing. So annoying. And then I took a picture and I realized it is too deep in the legs.

[00:06:45] No wonder why I'm so uncomfortable. And when my reflexologist comes over, she is commenting about how tight I am through my calf. I play pickleball, so [00:07:00] that's part of it. But I'm realizing that I should be getting to a point when I do yoga that I can stretch further and I still haven't gotten there after doing yoga for years.

[00:07:13] So I. I worked that out through sending pictures of chat GPT of this is what it looks like and got to the point of, okay, I want to be able to move around in my chair 'cause a DHD brain. And it also helps because since a car accident last year, I get tight through my neck and I. Other pictures of my desk set up to chatty and realized, okay, so I'm cocking my neck in a weird position, so I need to change this.

[00:07:43] And it just led down this rabbit hole that I'm really excited for. That is going to set me up for success. I can spend more time here with coaching people, with podcasting, with business stuff. I am starting a nonprofit, [00:08:00] so I'm gonna be spending a lot of time here, so I want this to feel homey. Especially during this time of year, and I feel like when we talk about the seasons of our life, the seasons of weather, the seasons of the day, when we have our highs and lows, there are certain times of year, like right now, of, okay, my body is more craving rest.

[00:08:26] Am I listening to that? My body is sore. Why is it sore? What's going on? I've already replaced my bed. I've already replaced the pillow since the car accident. I have a massage chair. Like we really dove into all of the things. So now it's, my chair needs to be replaced. I already have it ordered.

[00:08:47] It's coming I think tomorrow, which is crazy 'cause I just ordered it today. Crazy world we live in it's like a stool type chair for my legs too. And [00:09:00] the next thing is, I'm very excited for this because after I've been interviewing people, I find that my neck hurts and everything.

[00:09:07] So I have a monitor stand I needed Alan wrench and husband to uphold up the monitor so I can adjust it, but that's out of alignment. Thanks to Chatty, I was able to realize that I thought I had it aligned correctly. No wonder why my neck hurts. And I'm also gonna be moving this lovely camera so it's more centered about here, so I don't look so far away and so I'm not looking up like this when I'm chatting with you guys or interviewing.

[00:09:36] I talked a lot about myself here, but it brings that question of where do you spend the most time and do you hurt? What adjustments can you make? Sometimes we get in the car and we get there and we realize we're super uncomfortable. See, for me, I'm already adjusting in the chair.

[00:09:57] Are there adjustments that you need to make in your car, [00:10:00] especially for this time of year? it doesn't mean you have to get a new car. It means you might just need to adjust like the armrest, like I'm adjusting it in this chair. You might need to change your setting when you're stopped in traffic, put it in park and change it to your setting and not the person who last drove your car if you have it where it does automated settings.

[00:10:23] Sometimes mine, even with my set of keys, thinks it's my husband driving the car and we tease each other For me, if I'm teasing him, he likes to look at the sky while he's, driving and he teases me that I like to look at the backseat. So that tells you a height difference between the two of us.

[00:10:40] So one, what is that of alignment? Do you need to replace your pillow? you need to, maybe if can't afford to replace your pillow right now, maybe put a towel, roll it up and put it underneath your pillow to give you a little bit of height. It's that time of year too. 

[00:10:57] I need a new pillow. This is what I researched. [00:11:00] Use touch GPT to research. Are you a side sleeper? Stomach sleeper. Are you a roll all over the bed? Sleeper. Are you a back sleeper? Do you snore? That's definitely an alignment thing too. It can be related to weight, allergies, a lot of different things. But start with, is it your alignment?

[00:11:20] Do you have low back pain and pain through your arches and through your calves? Maybe you need to replace your shoes. I don't think about. My shoes until my back starts hurting, and it's about a month into it that I realized, oh, it's my shoes that are doing it, not these other things.

[00:11:37] So take that time. It is that time of year that you get to make your wonderful Christmas holiday list, whatever you celebrate. For us, it's Christmas. You get to make your wishlist. So think about it, what things would make your life better? Is it a new pad for your chair at work? Is it a better [00:12:00] footrest That's higher up because apparently chat, GPT, which I was thinking this, my footrest is way too low, that it's not even helpful.

[00:12:08] Plus, like I said, even with me being taller, my chair is way too long. Under my legs. And I'm somebody who likes to sit cross-legged because I love yoga. this does not allow space with these arm. And I find that I am very out of alignment when I do yoga and I get massages all the things. And it's because of the way I cross my legs and try and move around and get comfortable in this chair.

[00:12:42] I hope that is something to think about and tying in self intimacy into this. It goes along with my that I write in my journal every day, and I allow myself to think about how do I show myself love? And the other one is, why do I [00:13:00] love myself? And maybe that's something that you can ask yourself.

[00:13:06] And that allows you the space to answer yourself throughout the day and to think about, am I showing myself love? Where am I showing myself love? Where do I need to show myself more love? Where do I need to slow down? Especially in the society day and age too, where we have so much knowledge available at our fingertips.

[00:13:33] That we forget that we have our own inner knowledge and we need to do those self check-ins, and that's where the self intimacy comes in. And if we're talking about intimacy, it also makes me think of intimacy with a significant other. Are there things that you like and don't like in the bedroom, out of the bedroom?

[00:13:58] Spend some time [00:14:00] really thinking about. What do you like and don't like and why? And sharing that and giving that space to your significant other to also do the same so that you can show up better for each other in all aspects. And here's my question for you. What does self intimacy look like for you?

[00:14:25] What can you do to better show up for yourself to show yourself love? Do it in such a deep way that you naturally are asking that question of others around you, of your children, of people in your workplace. What do you need? What needs to be adjusted for you? And if we're talking about desks set up, how's yours looking?

[00:14:51] And then once you start really adjusting it. Look at other people around you. Hey, I noticed that you're hunching over. Maybe your [00:15:00] monitors are too far back. That's what Chatty was telling me. 'cause I was showing the picture of this is what I end up doing when I'm interviewing people and chat.

[00:15:08] GP two is okay, your monitors are totally off and it's no wonder why you're doing that, why you want a new chair because it, this does not fit your body type. So it goes with that other idea of how are we trying to fit in places we don't belong? Is that idea of trying, this is really, you can tell my dad said this growing up, 'cause more his generation, but it's trying to fit the round peg in the square hole.

[00:15:43] How many times are we doing that with maybe the clothing we're wearing the. The way we have our car seat set up, the way we have our desk set up, is it for someone short and we're tall or vice versa, or [00:16:00] the, different ways that our bodies are, especially if we are in a car that's shared with other people, or a desk that shared with other people.

[00:16:12] What do you need to do to show yourself love? That's what I think about with intimacy is love in that deep way where you really know yourself, you really know your needs. You know how to show up for yourself and when you can do that. It is so much easier to allow other people that space and ask them those questions to get them there.

[00:16:36] And for me, that is what most of my journey has been about, is if I wanna coach people to this level and really help them deeply in their wellness in all aspects. Then I need to be doing that work myself. And what does that look like and how do I do it in such a deep level [00:17:00] that when I am so busy coaching clients and so busy being a parent and a spouse and being all these other things am I still taking care of myself?

[00:17:15] Am I still optimizing my own life while helping others to optimize theirs? And. For me, it'll be an ongoing question, and I'm sure it will be for you as well, of what can I do to make things better and remembering to tune back in. So I was just in the middle writing my newsletter and it's embarrassing and funny at the same time.

[00:17:41] So my mouse is, I don't even know how old it is, but this lovely mouse has. I've been through a lot with me and it's traveled with me, everything else, and it definitely shows it 'cause I have children on the bottom side. [00:18:00] And I thought it was me problem, and I thought maybe it was because our internet's being flaky with there's new neighborhood being built up and they're putting in new wires.

[00:18:12] The Verizon trucks are going all down the main streets putting in stuff, and they're really nice. They look, the wires look really thick on the utility poles, whatever. So I just thought, okay, I just need to. Pull back more, do less online stuff, be more in person, be more present with myself my self care.

[00:18:38] I'll just do more reading, but I'll do it more with actual books instead of online, that type of stuff. And realize, okay, it's because of this. Cool. Going back to my mouse, I thought maybe it was just still internet stuff. My husband went to use my mouse and he's your [00:19:00] mouse isn't working right.

[00:19:01] You know what? Yeah, I've noticed. I thought it was me. How many times do we have something that isn't working right and we think it's us when it's the actual thing. So have a new one ordered. Went through chat, GPT to say, these are all the things that I want, and I want it like my husband's mouse that he has at work where it's more of a handshake style.

[00:19:23] So it can help my wrist when I have three days of heavy computer work, like eight hours a day, my wrist kills me, makes it hard to sleep. turns out because of the time of year and the government shut down everything I, is my assumption that I'm getting a wired mouse.

[00:19:43] Dang it. Anyway, I was hoping it'd be wireless. here's my other one, and I'm giving you ideas because I know I'm not the only one here, my phone. I had a five-year-old iPhone. Yes, the iPhone. I know. Android, iPhone, that whole division, [00:20:00] whatever. I still miss several parts of having an Android from, I don't know, 14 years ago when we switched over.

[00:20:09] in my perfect world, can they marry together and the perfect phone anyway. So it was about five years old, still seemed like it was fine. I just figured it was just running slower internet stuff because they've been slowly doing all the internet things. somebody else was using my phone to show me something and he tells me Your phone is super old.

[00:20:32] You need to upgrade this. It's going slow. And I went, oh, interesting. So I go to my husband, is this going slow or is it just me? now I have a new phone, and that was a whole other thing, trying to get apps to fully pour over my husband's super techie. So him doing it and not everything came over correctly, but it allowed me to not log into some of the things like Facebook.

[00:20:58] I have not been on it in two months. [00:21:00] Missed everyone wishing me happy. 40th. It's fine. I love them. I know, the messages are there. But it's been so nice to not feel the need to scroll and to have that reconnection with myself instead of just zoning out on social media. And it is allowing me going back to self intimacy to check in with myself.

[00:21:26] How am I really feeling? What do I really need? Instead of just zoning out, disconnecting, which we are in such a, it's very interesting. A connected society, but we're disconnected. How many times are we doing something like this where we're online on videos and we are connecting with people that way, but it's a very distance connection, so it's not something that actually fills up your social wellness tank.

[00:21:57] If we're going over those little circles that are [00:22:00] here, that's not getting filled up, okay. Lots of thoughts to think about. So what do you need to optimize in your life? What self check-in do you need to have? What? Where are you having those areas of friction? That is where I always start clients off at and redirect them to is what's causing friction in your life and why?

[00:22:22] Let's check in with that.

[00:22:27] What can you do to relieve some of the pain that you're having in your body during this time of your. Especially with Christmas around the corner. Talked about that.

[00:22:40] Talked about self intimacy. What does it look like for you? What do you need to adjust in your life to be more connected to yourself in a very intimate, very loving way? Because for me. I'll use [00:23:00] myself as the best example, so I'm not sharing about other people, but with all the abuse that I had growing up, I became very disassociated for myself.

[00:23:13] And it has been a journey to get back in tune with myself. And one of the best ways of healing was finding my amazing husband. We've been married 16 years now and. There are so many times where he knows me better than I know myself. And honestly, that's a bit of a failure. It's a success for our relationship, right?

[00:23:42] But it's a failure because I should know myself better than he does. That doesn't mean I'm keeping secrets from him. I'm not sharing things with him, but that should mean that I'm checking in with myself enough. I am spending time meditating. I'm spending [00:24:00] time asking myself the hard questions, asking myself what I want instead of, and this is very a female male thing if you look at social media, but.

[00:24:15] Asking myself we'll start with where do I want to eat? Instead of he has to ask me and I keep saying, I don't care. And then he offers something and I say, no, not that one until we finally get around to where I actually want to eat You've all seen the memes. I know I'm not the only one. But really checking in with yourself so you know the answers.

[00:24:34] You know what you want, you know where you wanna show up, you know what you wanna change. And when you can do that, and. Set up those boundaries within yourself. You can help other people to do that. So if you wanna look at it that way, you're helping other people. But the idea is that you should not be leaning on somebody so much [00:25:00] that you don't know yourself.

[00:25:03] I know that has been and will continue to be a journey for me is my husband is absolutely my favorite animal and human and sometimes he needs to be my support human. You know how they have support animals, my support human, but we have children. He can't always be there. We have lives outside of each other, so how do I become my best support?

[00:25:32] So we're talking about that. Talked about a lot of different things, and I hope that this gives you questions to ask yourself and adjustments that you can make in your own lives. And I hope that you can find. Relief from any pain that you're feeling, any suffering that you have had or do have going on right now?

[00:25:59] I [00:26:00] know so many people who are suffering who. Are suddenly finding themselves in the hospital, finding loved ones, passing away are struggling financially, especially with the shutdown. It affected everybody in one way or another. Even those who have been thriving through it, it still affects because it all trickles down.

[00:26:21] If you do need help with job support, I have been talking about that in my newsletter and also a bit on LinkedIn. Mostly on my newsletter though. So know that you can find those supports there. And I know that for me, noticing outside and how it is fall and how trees are starting to let go of their leaves, that it is our reminder of what things do we need to let go during this time?

[00:26:50] During this time where so many of us have lower energy, what things do we need to let go of? Knowing that we can either let go of 'em forever or we can [00:27:00] come back to them when we have higher energy, when there's more sunlight out there, when it's warmer, when we feel more inspiration. Because when we do let go of those things, it allows that space for inspiration, for healing, for that breath of fresh air, for that alignment.

[00:27:20] I wanna end by telling you that I love you and that you are seen and that you are not alone in your journey. I know that so many of us struggle with loneliness and isolation. We can be surrounded by people and feel lonely, and that is not how we are wired to be. We are wired to be social creatures and we are wired to seek love and validation.

[00:27:51] So know that you have it here and that you are not alone on your journey. I am right there with you and [00:28:00] if you need extra support. Reach out. I am happy to set up a free call with you, and if you need more support than that, I would love to be your coach. I would love to help you through your life transitions, things that are out of alignment, and to bring you to an overall sense of feeling like I am in balance.

[00:28:21] I am overall feeling well. All of my areas of life and that all of my areas of wellness are well connected to each other because they should be. You are the person that has all these little bubbles or the different areas of wellness and they connect to you whether they're depleted or whether they're really full and healthy.

[00:28:45] It all connects to you and it helps you connect to the world around. So have a great week and I will talk to you later.

[00:28:57] Speaker 3: Thank you so much for listening to this episode. [00:29:00] I hope that you found the answers that you needed, and you had some amazing aha moments. Please share this episode with others because it helps us align ourselves and then better align the world so that we can seek the healing that we really are looking for as part of the legal language.

[00:29:20] I am a certified life coach with a Bachelor's in Applied Health. That is what I am leaning on for this. This is general advice. Take it as such. See you in the next episode.