Feeling Understood

Feeling understood isn’t just a “nice to have.” It’s a nervous system exhale — and it can quietly shape everything from your stress level to the tension you carry in your body.

In Episode 188 of Wellness in Every Season, we’re unpacking what it actually feels like to be truly seen — and what happens inside us when that understanding is missing. We’ll explore where you feel most understood (and how your body responds when you’re safe), why feeling unseen can create friction in relationships, and how past experiences of being misunderstood can echo into the choices you make today.

This episode also includes a simple, practical body-based reset you can use anytime you’re holding stress: tighten everything, then fully release — like telling your whole system, “you can let go now.” It’s not about forcing peace. It’s about creating space for it.

If you’ve been clenching your way through life — at home, at work, in your relationships, or even inside your own head — this conversation will help you slow down, reconnect, and take a grounded next step toward alignment.

For more wellness tips and exclusive content, join my newsletter! Sign up now at https://wellness-in-every-season.kit.com/5-days-to-mastering-mornings-and-evenings receive a free 5-day guide called "Awaken and Unwind: 5 Days to Mastering Life's Mornings and Evenings."

Chapters

• 0:00 Why Feeling Understood Matters
• 1:02 Somatic Check In
• 1:40 Remember Being Seen
• 3:08 Where Understanding Breaks Down
• 4:25 Childhood Patterns Today
• 4:58 My Marriage Safe Space
• 5:59 Finding Support and Tools
• 8:49 Tension Release Exercise
• 10:57 Practice Understanding Others
• 12:32 Redefining Wellness and Next Steps
• 13:52 No Title

Transcript

Episode 188: Feeling Understood

[00:00:00] 

Today we're talking about feeling understood, and this is something that absolutely affects your wellness.

Welcome to Wellness. In every season, we talk all things wellness, to help you align yourself, align with your goals, find balance in your life, and just recalibrate yourself if you are listening for the first time. Welcome, welcome. I'm so glad you're here, and let's get started in the rest of the podcast.

It affects every part of your wellness, to be honest, and it can really affect physical wellness as well. And just hold onto tension in your body. I've been thinking about this a lot, and this affects our relationships.

So let me take a second for you to think about it for your own.[00:01:00] 

So where do you feel the most understood? Where and when and how do you feel within your body? Let's do it. Let's go a little bit somatics here. And what is your energy level like? Do you maybe feel a little more creative during this time? Do you maybe feel. Loved, and maybe because you feel loved, maybe more loved for yourself if you don't have a place or a person that you feel understood.

Right. 

Now, let's backtrack a little bit. Have you ever had a moment in your life where you have feel, felt very understood, very seen? What did that feel like? How did that motivate you in life? I know for [00:02:00] some people they pick up a mentor who really understands them, and it might not be somebody who, that's their career as being a mentor, but it really led them on the path that they've chosen, maybe career path or maybe hobby or religion.

Parenting, you name it, travel.

And then the next question is, when have you truly understood somebody in such a deep way that you could have that soul connection and really see them? Through all of, take all those layers off and see the core of who they are,

what has that done for [00:03:00] you and what has that done for them?

Now, let's go to the negative side of this, and if you need, you can take a few deep breaths or kind of shake out your body a little bit because you'll still start to feel some tension here.

Who in your life are you having friction with? Where is that understanding missing? It at work? Is it at home? Is it within parenting within your signi, your relationship with your significant other? Is it at the mechanic trying to get your car fixed? Is it in traffic? 

We all have areas within our personality, within our lives. Maybe when reflecting on our past that we don't understand the choices we make, we don't [00:04:00] understand maybe who we are, the core of us, really deep inside of us.

Remembering that our spiritual being is so much bigger than our physical being. And if you ever struggle to remember that, look at a little kid that has a big personality, I'll tell it to you right then.

Maybe we can go back to your childhood. When have you felt understood? What did that feel like, look like? And then. When did you not feel understood? What did that feel like and look like, and how are both of those experiences showing up in your life today?

The magic coaching question. What else? Try to go deeper with this. What else is going on? 

So the reason why [00:05:00] this is important to me is because. I have been married for 16 years. Yay. Happily married for most of it. But what really has helped me to heal from my childhood and really show up for myself and really dig into myself of who am I on the deeper level, separate from the trauma, separate from generational garbage that's still trauma separate from being a parent.

When all of my titles are gone and I am with myself, who am I deeply and like get to that understanding of myself, what really helps is having that peace and that understanding and my safe space, my safe landing, and really that's being around my husband as soon as I'm around him, it's that deeper exhale, more of that softening within my body.

[00:06:00] And the thing is, not everybody has that, right? So that's where meditation practices can come in. That's where I really enjoy yoga. The, the stretching part of it and the workout part of it is great getting that heat in my muscles. But the Shavasana at the end, that relaxation after everything, and that's that reminder of.

We naturally have that in sleep, so we need to be sleeping more. But all of this going and doing, we're not spending time being quiet and coming inside of ourselves to understand ourselves. And sometimes we need to find that safe space, that safe person sometimes to remind us of that when we are so out of alignment.

That was me when I was 21, [00:07:00] finding my husband, dating him for a while and then marrying him. And sometimes that's finding a coach or a therapist. Being around the people who make you feel understood, make you feel like you can have that deeper exhale, that softening, make you feel like you can really. Vent to them and have them reflect back to you and be, yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to say.

Have any of you had somebody like that where you connect with them in that way and they can rephrase things to you and it's more eloquent and deeper and more emotional using this great emotion wheel that's behind me, that they can say more of those emotions and say, and you can go, yes.

That's what I was trying to say. It's so great to have somebody like that, but the thing if you don't, in your life, this is why I'm kind of going back and forth trying to play devil's advocate here, is [00:08:00] you're so out of alignment. It's great to find a person like that, but, and here's the part that I bring into coaching is yes, I am that person for those that I coach, but I also bring in tools to help you learn to become that person.

And it feels so good. It makes it so that when you are in situations of high stress, that you can work through it, whatever decision needs to be made, and then you can release it and come back to if anything feels out of whack, what's going on, what part of me feels out of alignment, what part of me feels like there's still tension being held.

How do I release it? 

So this is something that I plan on having be a whole episode, but I'll, I'll give you a little hint of it right now. So if you are walking [00:09:00] or running, or you're driving, you could still do this. If you're sitting, you can do even more.

Trying to clench everything in our body and you can start with your face. That's the hardest for me is doing that, is clench everything that you can, and you might realize that you already are maybe in your eyebrow area. 

Try and get all of your muscles really tight through here and then bring it into your neck. I'm not going to do that 'cause it'll flare up my neck, but bring it into your neck, build it up into your collarbones, and just shoulders, bring it into your chest and your arms all the way down your arms to your fingers.

Bring it in through your back, all of your back muscles, and to. Your stomach. So all of the core, and those are the muscles that wrap around your spine, front back through your hips, through your bum and your your [00:10:00] thighs, all the way down through your knees, your calves, and then all the way through your toes.

Just tighten everything up that you can and you're gonna look like you're constipated. Tighten it, tighten it, tighten it, and then do a big poof. And relax it. How does that feel? And then with this, let's take another deep breath in and then exhale. Like I said, I'll do a whole episode just on doing that for you so you can help release the stress.

This is what it is like when you connect with somebody and try to understand them, slow down to understand them. This is what it's like when you find a situation where somebody really understands you, especially when you're holding onto all of that tension everywhere. And you can just, I'm seen, I'm heard, I'm loved, and let it go.

So when you go [00:11:00] throughout this week, the next couple of days until the next episode comes out, think about this. Think about those areas in your life, the areas in your body. Where you have that tight tension, how do you let it go? And then as you focus on that for yourself, help other people. And that's where you get to that really good synergy, really good alignment with other people.

Where you see them, you see the potential, you see their intention, and you see that they might be coming from a place of love or hurt. There's that saying that I grew up with that my mom would always say, hurt people. Hurt people. So if you can come to the place of seeing that they're hurt and they're coming from that place and share with them love, instead you are taking that ripple [00:12:00] effect and you're ending it, you're not gonna turn around and hurt somebody else.

If you're somebody who's hurting and you're clenching and you just can't get over it, schedule a call with me. Let's chat. Let me help you get to that alignment within yourself. That place where you can really come from a deep reservoir of healing yourself and really coming up with what works for you and doesn't, and.

Let's redefine what wellness is for you, because for each person, wellbeing or wellness is different, and it's also different in our season of life and what's going to call out to us is what we're needing the most. There's been stages of my life where I just need peace. I've worked on that. I've had clients who've said that as well, or I just need to be able to get this one thing done or.[00:13:00] 

I need to better connect with this child or my spouse or this coworker, or even worse, this boss, and it can feel worse because they're the ones that are right over you. So think about that. If you need help with those things and you are just stuck and even stuck for a while, you are my person. Let me help you.

I hope you have a great couple days until we chat again. And if this resonated for you and it's something where you know somebody else needs this, please share this. My goal in all of this is to really spread love and wellness to everybody. We all need this. We have so many things that bring us out as such.

Misalignment, I guess would be the best word. 

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope that you found the answers that you needed, and [00:14:00] you had some amazing aha moments. Please share this episode with others because it helps us align ourselves and then better align the world so that we can seek the healing that we really are looking for as part of the legal language.

I am a certified life coach with a Bachelor's in Applied Health. That is what I am leaning on for this. This is general advice. Take it as such. See you in the next episode.