Affordable Fertility Help

Fertility support can be expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally overwhelming—but what if more individualized guidance could become accessible at a much lower cost?

In this episode of Wellness in Every Season, Autumn speaks with fertility expert and Conceivable founder Kirsten Karchmer about a new approach to fertility support that combines decades of clinical experience, personalized health data, and AI-powered guidance.

Kirsten draws from her work as a fertility acupuncturist who treated more than 10,000 patients experiencing infertility, PCOS, endometriosis, and recurrent pregnancy loss. She explains why she believes fertility care should look beyond isolated hormone levels and ovulation dates to consider the full picture of a person’s health—including energy, sleep, digestion, stress, menstrual patterns, nutrition, and daily habits.

Together, they discuss:

• Why fertility treatment remains financially inaccessible for many families
• The limitations of relying solely on ovulation trackers and hormone monitors
• How menstrual cycles, bleeding patterns, temperature, energy, digestion, and stress may offer useful health information
• Why identifying underlying patterns may be more helpful than addressing one symptom at a time
• The role of sleep, nutrition, blood sugar, stress resilience, and heart rate variability in overall wellness
• How personalized AI tools may make fertility education and support more affordable
• The importance of privacy when sharing sensitive health information with technology
• Why male fertility should also be part of the conversation
• The emotional impact of infertility, miscarriage, IVF, and recurrent pregnancy loss
• How everyday habits can support health before pregnancy, during pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond

Kirsten also introduces Conceivable, an AI-supported women’s health platform designed to provide personalized guidance, education, supplement recommendations, and ongoing support based on each user’s individual patterns and goals.

This conversation is also a reminder that fertility does not exist in isolation. The habits that support reproductive wellness—sleeping well, eating nourishing foods, managing stress, improving digestion, and paying attention to your body—can continue to support health throughout every season of life.

Connect with Kirsten Karchmer and Conceivable

Website: conceivab.com

TikTok: @yourfertilityexpert and @conceivablefertility

Please verify that you are following Kirsten’s official accounts, as impersonator accounts may reuse her content.

Important Health Note

This episode includes personal experiences, professional opinions, and discussion of fertility, supplements, menstrual health, thyroid function, miscarriage, and pregnancy. It is for general educational purposes and should not replace individualized medical care. Do not begin, stop, or change medications or supplements based solely on this conversation. Speak with a qualified healthcare professional before making decisions related to fertility treatment, pregnancy, abnormal bleeding, thyroid health, miscarriage, or other medical concerns.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Today we are talking about affordable fertility. Welcome to Wellness in Every Season. We talk all things wellness to help you align yourself, align with your goals, find balance in your life, and just recalibrate yourself. If you are listening for the first time, welcome, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. And let's get started in the rest of the podcast. In a world where fertility is crazy expensive, it could take a very long time. I am so excited for this episode because I immediately have several people in mind that I'll be sharing this episode with. Today we have with us Kirsten Karchmer and her company is Conceivables. She was just sharing her story about how she had so much success and that she was able to close her clinics and offer on-demand help at a fraction of the price. So, first of all, thank you for being here. And then let's share that part just at the front end for people who are like, oh, fertility is so expensive. I don't think I want to go down this journey. Share with us this story and how you came to be at this point.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Well, the idea of like dealing with your fertility is a real pain in the butt. And it's really scary because you have this gas inbreak in you, and this like your biology is screaming to you, and your heart is screaming like, have a child, make a family, have a baby, you know? And then but it's not working. And that is crazy making for most people because they're like, I'm doing everything and nothing's working. I feel so powerless. And I hate that for women. And one in five women are going through that. One in five of us, you know. And to your point, not only is it hella expensive, the research shows that only three percent of couples can afford fertility treatment. Three percent. 80 million in the US alone. And I always felt as an acupuncturist, I was one of the first fertility acupuncturists in North America. I treated over 10,000 infertile women, mostly with combinations of infertility, PTOS, endometriosis, and recurrent pregnancy loss, like that sort of pattern, of course. And what I realized was that we're doing it all wrong. The industry has invested like 10 billion with a B dollars in trackers and monitors. All of you listening, if you're trying to get or stay pregnant or balance your hormones, are using probably a tracker or a monitor. There just isn't a single study that shows that tracking improves anything. That $10 billion and your investment is not going to change the outcome. The only way we can change the outcome, and this is how we make fertility affordable, is by learning how to understand data as a diagnostic tool. I do a live show on TikTok almost every day. And people say, hey, Kirsten, how do I fix my low progesterone? Like, that's not the reason you're not getting pregnant. It's the signal of some underlying issues of why you're not getting pregnant, right? It's not that you actually have a true progesterone deficiency. The mechanism that allows the release of progesterone isn't working. That's why supplemental progesterone doesn't really work. 5% increased likelihood of natural conception. So what we try to help women to understand is that whatever is going on with your hormones or your fertility, whether you're trying to just ovulate or get pregnant or stay pregnant, that you have a unique presentation of symptoms, habits, environmental factors, stressors, the kind of exercise, what you eat, how you digest, all of those things make up your presentation. And we believe that women and people with periods deserve to be treated at that level, at the human level, not at the disease level, and certainly not the symptom level. It just doesn't work. We have all the money in the world in the United States, and we just keep getting less and less healthy. It's because we go to the doctor and we say, I'm getting migraines. And the doctor says, take this medicine and it'll make them go away. And you're like, huh, my migraines went away. But the presentation of why you suddenly have migraines has not been investigated. And you're going to be married to that medication for life. I always say, I don't want any lifers. Let's figure this out, let's fix it. And you go on your merry way and help somebody else. So I'll stop there. That's like a long enough intro. Raise your hand if you're like, okay, wrap it up here.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

I like tracking because I learned when to change my diet because of really heavy periods. So eat more iron, more fibers. Can I interrupt you for just a second?

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Yeah. But more iron when you have really heavy periods is not a good idea. Because often you, when you have heavier periods, you have quatting. And the clotting is actually often the source of the heavy period. And if you take iron, you actually make more clots and more heavy bleeding. You have to first get rid of the clotting, then you add the iron.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Wow. See, this is what I love about having a podcast is how much I learn from elders. It's so fun. Okay, that makes sense. But okay, having periods supplies then. Yeah, but it likes tracking. And I learned that I was super clockwork with my period, which was really helpful to know. And then you talked about how we're given medicine. And great, it takes care of that problem, but does it also cause more problems?

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Or hide a signal. Like often, I would venture to say 75% of migraines in women are directly or indirectly related to how well her liver uses and eliminates hormones. It doesn't mean she has a liver disease. It means like in Western medicine, we're like something has to be so bad it's a disease. In Chinese medicine, something has to be not perfect to pay attention to. We're like, why not at least try to optimize to perfect? We might not get there, but at least we know, you know, I think they said like about goal setting. People will say, like, oh, you know, make a goal that's achievable. And like, fuck that. Make a goal that's a hundred times more than what's achievable. And if this is what was achievable and this is your goal, if you even get to here, you got to play a way bigger game.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Okay. It makes sense that you went with acupuncture, Chinese medicine. This is what led you here. You talked about how you were diagnosed with MS. Did you also have your journey with infertility to lead you here? Or what kind of led you to where you are now?

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Shockingly, I had no trouble getting pregnant. I did have two miscarriages because I was really, I had no period of blood. Like when I tell people what I always say, like, we put too much emphasis on like capturing ovulation. Like people think like the only thing I need to do to get pregnant is figure out, buy a monitor, and get some clear blue easier, get in auto, and figure out when I'm ovulating and what my hormones are, which doesn't do anything, right? The goal is to have a 28 to 32-day cycle, no matter what. That's the first goal because otherwise, timing of ovulation is disrupted. So either ovulation is coming too early, the egg hasn't had enough time to mature, or it's too late. And now the egg is starting to break down. Those folks in particular have a super high risk for miscarriage. We don't want to just go in and it's like, where's ovulation? That's okay. I'm ovulating on cycle day 40. Let me have sex right now on cycle day 40. That is not a way to optimize your fertility. And so for me, I even had a weird thing. Like I got pregnant the first time, I was trying to fix my thyroid with Chinese medicine. I've been on thyroid medicine since I was 18 years old. I had learned this protocol to improve thyroid function. You're supposed to do it four times, once a week for four weeks or six weeks or something. But after the first treatment, I couldn't take my medicine anymore. If I took my thyroid medicine, I was getting acute hyperthyroidism, like palpitations, high blood pressure, red face, migraine, ringing in the ears. So I went down to 50%, quarter dose, still think. Then I just stopped taking it. And I was really lean when I was younger. I was really athletic and despite my MS, and I gained three pounds in about two months, which was very unusual. And I was like, should I check my TSH because just stopped taking my medicine after 10 years? Like, what could happen there? Well, my TSH was 156. Wow. So just for those of you who don't know, the normal reference range for thyroid TSH is between one and four. And your doctor will try to convince you that if you're not below 2.5, you cannot get pregnant. And mine was 156, which is why when people tell me my TSH is four, which is a normal range. Should I be on thyroid medication? I'm like, no. Let's just improve gut a little bit, which will where a lot of the thyroid function happens. And we don't, you don't need to optimize. Look, if I can get pregnant with 156, and that kid is a genius, he's like second in his class at law school. So the worry is if your thyroid is elevated before you get pregnant, your child can have mental developmental delays. And I was really worried about that, but he was kind of over-indexed in the other way. Just was like, I'll prove everyone wrong. I mean, I used to say about this child that he was such an unusual and quirky child. I was like, this kid's either going to be homeless or win the Nobel Prize. Like, either they're going in one way or the other. If he can harness this, he's going to be really powerful. It might make him crazy.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

There are so many people who are so intelligent, and they're sometimes so intelligent that they're almost dumb with life skills and everything else, and they can't really seem to connect with like this is how to function well in this society. And I mean, we see people all over the spectrum. So it makes sense that you were okay. Let me show you how to actually function in this world and succeed, even being your own crayon color. Like, here's it all, have the path.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

When he went off to college, he's always marched his own beat. He's got black, curly hair, beautiful hair, and he buzzed it all off and he dyed it pink. And I was like, College is like a fresh start. Like, are you sure you want to go your first day to college with pink hair? I was like, people are gonna judge you. And he's like, I can't believe you care about that. Mom, I'm really disappointed in you. He's like, that surprised me. You've always marched to your own gem and trusted that that was okay. I'm surprised that you don't trust mine as. I am. I know. I was like, okay, another point for the kid.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Yep. It's funny when they just hit you with that stuff and you're like, okay. You're like, you have so can you tell us a little bit about what your protocol is, how you're different. You can share screen if you need to really open up your world so that people really know what they're diving into and what they're getting out of this.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

So if you think about any tracker or monitor that you're using, remember there's no data. A monitor like Innado or Mira may help you to get pregnant, but there isn't a single study that shows that it increases live birth rates. What that means to me is that using trackers to capture poorly timed ovulations only increases your risk for miscarriage, right? Because you're putting yourself in a position where you have either a very young or a very overmature egg. And I would prefer to fix that. So what happens is think about that, but instead you have an AI version of me, Kirsten AI. And so you answer some questions, and her job is to figure out the most important underlying issues that are currently impacting your likelihood of getting and staying pregnant. After you do that, you this are just you just touch buttons for now. After you do that, Kai comes in and she gives you a score. That score is called your conceivable score. It's a patented tool that predicts the likelihood of natural conception. So in the women using our app in the pilot, over four months they increased the likelihood of natural conception. And I'm not lying, between 150 and 260% in four months.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

And how many people were in this?

SPEAKER_00 11:31

105 were coming to see me in the clinic.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Good numbers right there.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

And the app was six percent more effective than me. And you talked about how it's a small percentage, but the cost percentage is what really Yeah, that's the important thing because you know, when I read that study that only 3% of couples could afford fertility treatments, I honestly cried because it's expensive to go to acupuncture. And I knew that even if like we discounted, we had like charity programs, we had all that, it's still too expensive for really for most people. Like I couldn't go to acupuncture twice a week and get herbs. Like it's maybe like $1,500, $1,600 if you're seeing somebody who's really good.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

The time cost. Yes, and that's a hard thing too.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Yeah, getting there, sitting in traffic, missing work. Yeah, exactly. And and some people don't like needles. So then it's a little bit of a trauma for them. And so when I saw the data, I was like, oh my gosh, we can actually do this. We can change the lives of every woman on this planet for almost nothing. In fact, my goal is for conceivable for to win the Nobel Prizes in medicine for proving that we can completely transform, we can put all of the power into the hands of women to transform their own health for almost free. We can't make it free because one, because it uses AI, we have to pay for tokens. So every time you talk to her, it costs me. So Apple takes 30%. So the app is $15 a month. Apple directly takes $5. And then we use the rest of those $10, some for tokens, we make a little bit of profit out to each one. So the goal is really banking on that women are going to be really engaged and share the app a lot so that we don't have to do any marketing and advertising, which allows us to deliver it. The more that we get our community involved in helping us, the lower that we can keep the prices. And at every junction, like even we have a wearable. That wearable is like the aura ring, better, half the price, and also non-invasively measures glucose. Because blood sugar is really important in hormone regulation. And we interviewed 16,000 women last year, and only about 15% knew their blood sugar status. Like in general, is your blood sugar high, low, or normal? No idea.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

And because of that, it's swearable for people who are interested.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

Yeah, so it's called the Halo Ring. You can't quite get it yet because we're not going to start selling until the app is not out yet. It'll be out in just a couple of weeks. We're just doing internal final testing, and you will be able to, depending on when this episode goes out, you will be able to sign up to be a beta tester. Those beta testers will be considered founding metaverse. You'll get discounts and you'll get to give us feedback to say, hey, I like this. Don't do this. This is horrible. We want more of this. And so that ring pairs with the app. Let me back up and I'll come back to the ring. What happens is after you've got your conceivable score, then she highlights there's five categories: your energy, your blood, your hormones, your temperatures, and stress. Those categories, subcategories, determine your conceivable score. And so then you see what's the subscore for each one of them, and you can click into it and you can see, oh, your blood score is really low because you have one day of bleeding and it's full of quads. That means there's no lining to support implantation. We need to work on this. And here's a few things that we're going to work on. Your energy score is low because it's a two out of ten and you're doing CrossFit and you only sleep four hours. So she starts to see, like, uh, I'm starting to see the picture a little more clearly now. I thought nothing was wrong, but there's a bunch of small things that are actually correlated with infertility and miscarriage. That if we start looking at them as a system and start working on those categories, that score starts to go up and you only have to get the score above 65 to get pregnant. That's what pushed people into the range. My hypothesis was that you would need to get to 80, but pretty consistently, once they get to 65-ish, they start getting pregnant. The average starting score in the pilot 250 women was 33. So we're about halfway there. A lot of things improve really quickly, though. So then we give you a virtual AI care team. Like what I wish that I had a chef, nutritionist, therapist, data analyst, and supplement formulator, and more to come. Your care team stays with you for life because ultimately can see will be from age nine until 90. They stay with you for life. So whatever's going on, you Olive, that's your chef, she's looking at that data set of all your information. You're really tired. You have one day of bleeding. She's like, what does this person need nutritionally, not just for fertility, because there isn't any food for fertility. There just isn't. There are foods that improve the underlying issues once you know what they are. There are supplements that improve the underlying issues once you know what they are. Same thing. And so then it gets handed off to the supplement formulator. And then she looks at everything. She's like, what are the nutrients, if in high enough quality at the right days, are really going to help this person to go faster? That's the job of supplements, to go faster because you're impatient. You're like, I need to have a baby yesterday. I'm really impatient. By the time they get to us, they've been trying for a while, they're freaking out. They're like, I don't want to take my time. Give me everything. And so then also they can pair with the ring. The ring is important because it one does your temperature for you accurately. We tested Aura and thought we would just partner with Aura. I just couldn't get an accurate temperature read. And because we pioneered a way to understand basal body temperatures in a completely different way than you have, than every other person has. So we need accurate temperatures because the AI is recommending things, supplements, food, and things like that, based on the temperature presentation, especially what the graph looks like. And so the ring is able to measure a whole bunch of things, but most importantly, your sleep quality, because sleep is highly correlated. Not enough or poor quality sleep is highly correlated with lower fertility. It also measures your HRV. HRV is my secret weapon because that's not heart rate. It's actually heart rate variability. And we could take a whole hour to talk about this, but it's really the best measure of your resilience to stress. So when that number is nice and high, you like my dog was very sick. She threw up all over the house in my bed, all over the couch, like 30 times two days ago. It was, and I thought she was gonna die. And she is my beloved animal. And it was just so scary. And it was on Sunday, too. And I'm like, we are not going to the emergency vet. You can make it like I'm giving her Chinese herbs and everything. It was very stressful. But the higher your resilience is, the less that you're you get pulled into flight or fright. You're like, whoa, this is really stressful, but you're not crying. Your nervous system is able to stay more stable. And if you do, like, you know, the dog has a seizure or something, and it's really scary. Okay, you get really scared, your heart rate goes up. Once you realize the dog's okay, whatever, she's fine, she's running around now, you should re-regulate. But if that heart rate variability is very low, it can take days. When you're in that sympathetic state, you pump out a lot of adrenaline and cortisol, which is so inflammatory to every single cell, tissue, and organ in your body. So we want to be monitoring that heart rate variability because we're trained to just smile all the time. We're often not good at reporting our true symptoms. How are you feeling? How stressed are you? I'm not that stressed. I'm pretty good. Like to just survive the day at the end of the day. You're like, I'm fine. I mean, I cope at the end of the day, but I'm fine. When we look at their heart rate variability, we can see it's like 20. I like it to be closer to 180 and up. Then I say, Listen, your heart rate variability tells me you're a lot more stressed. Can we talk about that? Let's have a, it's okay. Lay it all out. And then the emotional support coach, Saren, pops in and she starts helping her to get some strategies to downregulate and increase the heart rate variability. And then we monitor it with the ring. And then it gets handed off to the supplement formulator. And then they make daily individual packs for you. The whole goal is like, how do we make it easy? Like when Saren is doing emotional support, you know, she's she can text you little meditations to do. When Olive is making your menus, not yet, but you'll be able to soon. You'll see your weekly menu. You click on all that, she'll see the whole weekly shopping list, click, click, and then you can either say, have this delivered by Amazon, Walmart, or Instacart to your house. How do we make this whole journey into like being becoming our healthiest and most fertile stealth? It's as easy as possible. That's our job. To hack it, hack the problems, hack the solutions, and make executing on it really like you should be at the end of three months being like, oh my God, everything is completely different. And it wasn't hard. That's really weird.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

So I had to write this down because I've been researching stress resilience and stress and stuff like that for my own coaching programs. So yeah, wait, I need a pen, pencil, and paper. So wrote that down. So thanks for answering my question that I never was gonna ask you because I would not have even thought to for this what we're talking about. But my question is I can see so many people relating to what you're talking about and saying, well, what about if I'm not on a fertility journey journey? Because this is still super helpful. So talk to us about that. Is this still would this still be helpful for the rest of the demographic for women? And then would it be helpful for men? Because one thing that I was talking to about a with a former coaching client of mine, and we were talking about her health journey. I was just doing a check-in. And I was reminding her that what she's doing now will impact the rest of her life in such a positive way. And the things that she's doing now, she should be doing for the rest of her life for optimizing her health, especially going into perimenopause and menopause and beyond.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

So ultimately, there will be individual experiences for whatever you're going through, whether it's just like starting with actually pre-period, so that we actually have the opportunity to get young early menstruators ready for their first period in a way that they're not afraid. Like period positivity, body positivity, actually a lot of safety because I feel like some of the things I see at the mall or when I'm out, like 12-year-old little girls, I'm like, oh my God, they're gonna get trafficked. They are not careful enough. Do you know what I mean? Like I see men talking to them. The app that is launching in a couple of weeks, so around May 15th, will be targeted for fertility. But if you're like, I can't wait, I just want to if you can just put up with a little fertility talk, knowing that you're just working, the program on the back end is almost the same. Because again, in Chinese medicine, we're never treating anything. We're never treating infertility, we're never treating miscarriage, we're never treating endometriosis. These things did not exist 3,000 years ago. They had no idea these conditions, but they They did know that there were patterns, right? They called PTOS was like spleen chi deficiency with dampness, right? Endometriosis was like liver fire, you know, and blood stagnation. But they didn't have names for these things. And so what we're able to do, that's why we call conceivable the first operating system for women's health, is it like wherever ultimately it'll take us about a year to finish all the experiences because pregnancy is a huge one. It's going to take us a long time to finish that, maybe three months. But what you'll be able to do is like if you go in and she's like, hey, what's going on? And you like have PCOS, a new interface opens. It's similar, but the back end is different colors, they indicate. And then the whole conversation is about PCOS. But then say you get diagnosed with endometrios, is they get married and they start working on your NFO and PCUS simultaneously. But again, you think about that beautiful mind from the beautiful mind movie where it's an enormous whiteboard with oh, so many little data points. That's what Concebo is working with every single day for you. And the longer that you use her, the more she gets to know you. So what my dream is that a little girl starts using it today, seven years old. We get her ready for her first period. And then now, 20 years later, she's talking to Kai. Like I'm going to be 90 years old at that point. So I might even be dead by then. But she's talking to Kai and she says, Okay, Kai, listen, I just got married last month and we want to start trying in about six months. I haven't been really working on my period and health very much. What do I need to do to start optimizing? And then Kai's going to be able to say, Okay, doll, listen, you got your period. We started at like nine, and then your first period came at 11, which is the perfect time to predict fertility. Like that's the optimal time. You had a few rough months. Yeah. People who have the highest fertility have period onset at age 11, 11, 12. We are seeing onset of menstruation more and more frequently, starting even at nine, which is why we're starting at seven. And so then we're saying, okay, then you had a few rough months when your period came, but we got that handled and you had a really smooth sailing until you turned 19 when you had that really bad car accident. Since then, you've been reporting more period pain and clotting. That's going to affect your lining and implantation. Let's go ahead and start working on that. I'm going to come up with a plan with a team. I'll let you know what to do. That's what I want. That's what I want from my daughter. That's what I want from me. I go to so many doctors. I have MS and I have this other very rare genetic disease that one in 500,000 people have. Nobody knows every doctor. I go, what's that? And so it would be really nice for my doctor will say, but I'm not a neurologist. And I was like, Yeah, but my raw neurologic symptoms are coming from my gut. And he's like, I don't even know what you're talking about. I just don't understand. So how do we allow for that level of care for all menstruating? And people always say, like, I'm not a menstruator, I'm a woman, I'm not a person with the period. And I feel like it is incredibly important that we are, especially today, that we are just so mindful of being inclusive of every single person. I just don't, I can't even find a reason to not include anybody. Personally, I don't care what other people are doing. Live your best life. What I want more of is love in the world. I want to do anything that promotes more love and kindness and peace in the world. So anything that's anti-that, I don't want to have any part of it.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Yeah, one of my favorite sayings, just you do you.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

If two people love each other, come knock yourself out. People are lonely in the world. It's hard to find. I'm single and it's hard to find somebody. And if you find somebody that you love and that makes your world a better place, man, more power to you.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

If you want to wear that outfit, that's not what I would wear. You do you. You know, yeah, I say it to my head several times today. I'm like, cool, you do you. Just yep. I don't need to spend time judging. I don't need to spend time trying to make everything the way that I think it should be in the world. It's just, yeah, you do you, I'm gonna do me. It's kind of like Mel Robbins let them theory. Just let people do the way they want to do. I want to spend energy on optimizing my own life, my own health. So much of what you're talking about is about really optimizing your life. And I love that it is AI-based because we are in such a world where it's going that way. And as you talked about, it can be so expensive to see specialists. It takes forever to see them. And then when you dive into what your symptoms are, maybe that wasn't even the journey you should have gone on. There's so many people that once they go through this journey and they get to the end and they finally have figured out the root cause, they're like, man, I wasted so much time and so much money going to all these other places that it can be very hard. So that's what one thing that I do like about the AI world, where you can put all that in. The problem is being careful and it's not general AI that you go to. You talked about how many years was behind this? Let's start there.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Eight years and recordings of 10,000 consultations. Yeah. And the truth is like don't put your information into GPT, right? Because they're sharing your data with IC. Yeah. Um, you know, with your privacy first company, uh, I'm a real fire brand. So I'm like, hell no, is anybody getting access to my girls' data? Like, there's no reason for it. I mean, you can animize data and and that can be used for research at some point, right? With like academic institutions and things like that for with pharma and things like that. There's no place for sharing that. Unless it was for like a specific drug discovery that I thought was a good drug. We do need some drugs. Like, I'm glad that we have chemotherapy of the agents. I've never had I did have skin cancer a bunch of times, but I've never had, you know, had a real cancer. But I would like to have that as an option. And so I never want to say, like, you know, no to drugs, but I do want to be able to demonstrate that we can do at least two-thirds of the work ourselves. And then that way, whatever we can't do together, then once you get to your doctor, a lot of the confusion, people, especially who are chronically ill or chronically unwell, they have a lot of symptoms. And those symptoms don't make sense to your doctor. They're not trained to look at a bunch of discrete weird things, like I get an eye twitch at two o'clock in the afternoon. You tell an acupuncturist, they know exactly what that means. Oh, two or three o'clock is liver time and eye is liver, and twitching is wind, which is called by blood deficiency. You probably only have one day of bleeding. The person's like, oh my God, how did you know that? And it's just like it's from this like years of pattern training. And the more pieces of data were like, d-do-do, oh, that's this and this, that makes perfect sense to me.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

I love it. I love how you explained it. And yeah, exactly. You put all of the stuff you already have, here are the boundaries within this, here's exactly what it's looking for, and then you put AI into there. It's not ChatGPT, it's not Claude, it's not whatever the most popular one is right now. This is very strategically thinking, it's only looking for these things, and it's looking for things that are connected, just like you're talking about with acupuncture world. So that totally makes sense to me. And I know so many people who it's one of those really you need to get on the AI train or you're gonna be left behind at this point. It's true. It's very cutting-edge technology in so many ways. And people who don't understand AI just think it's whatever AI. No, it's very specific. And you have designed it to do these specific things with a whole bunch of stuff running in the background. So I wanted to just take a minute to explain that a little bit more. Is there anything that we're missing? I feel like there might be a couple things that are missing from our conversation that people might need to know. I wanted to let you know that there are some amazing things happening behind the scenes here that I'm very excited about. The first one is I am opening my podcast up for sponsorships. So if you are an aligned brand with wellness, reach out to me. You can find me wellnessevery season.com slash podcast slash sponsor. I also have something going on for you listeners. If you've been listening for a while, I interview people who are aligned with wellness and they talk about the healing modalities and different modalities that they do, but it is in a very descriptive sense. I am making it so that you have the chance to experience it during a recorded episode, and other people get to experience it alongside you so that we can really see how it works. Instead of just this zoomed out experience, we get to really zoom in and experience it. So you can find out more about that at wellnessevery season.com forward slash listener wellness guest.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

Well, I do a live show almost every day on TikTok, and and I think that one group of people is really ignored, and that's the women who can't stay pregnant. They have almost no resources. You gotta have three losses. That's horrible. I had two miscarriage, so I know, right? You have to have three losses before they even start talking to you. They won't do anything, even though the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology recommends investigating every loss. So you can tell your doctor that if your doctor's like, we don't do anything until three, I'm like, well, I guess you're not following the ACOG guidelines in but but you when you just say it, you're like, well, why would you not follow the ACOG guidelines? And they're like, well, well, let's see what happens. Like, yeah, but I'm suffering when I'm having that. And so if you're a person in that category, first of all, you're not alone and uh your progesterone, uh like taking supplemental progesterone is not the thing that's going to work. It has like a five to seven percent increased likelihood of keeping you pregnant. It's because there isn't a true progesterone deficiency. This is my opinion. There's no clinical data to support this, but let me just tell you. I have worked with thousands and thousands of miscarriage patients. And what I saw were three things have to work to stay pregnant. They don't have to be perfect, but the closer they are, the more likely you are to stay pregnant. So we need good energy. So on a one to ten without caffeine or exercise for two days, what's your energy level? So just ask yourself that. And even if you're not trying to get pregnant, that is one of the most important metrics that is so easy. You have it every single day. You don't need a device, you don't need to pay anything. Like this week, what's my average energy been? And if it's not at eight, you need to start investigating. Start looking at what's the amount and quality of sleep that I'm getting. Most people like, I can get by with six hours. I'm like, but your energy is a four out of ten. So getting by means you're you're just using caffeine or energy drinks or whatever. Getting by is not fertile. Getting by is not healthy and it will not help you to live a healthier, happier, longer. And from the vanity point, it'll age you faster, right? It'll make you fatter because if you're not sleeping enough, that's where your hormones, ghrelin and leptin, which are they control say and appetite, they don't get regulated properly. So then the next day you want to eat donuts all day. This is what happens to me every time. Too much tea and coffee and donuts and junk food when I really don't even eat carbs. And so you want to really be paying attention to that. Also, what you eat, the quality of food, right? And then can you digest it? Do you have gas bloating, fatigue after meal, sugar cravings? Because maybe you have a chef, maybe you're like loaded, you have a chef. And she goes to the app in Kai, the chef says, Here's what you're going to eat today. And you have a chef, and the chef goes to the farmer's market, makes a perfect meal for you, and serves it to you, and gives you your supplements right there, and you eat it, and you're still tired after a month. You got a lot of gas bloating fatigue after meal. That perfect meal can't be efficiently broken down and converted into resources to make energy, to make blood, and to make hormones. And that really hurts your fertility. So even because then you're taking like our ultra-crypto high-quality supplements, but if you can't absorb them or digest them, you're not going to get the optimal benefit and everything's going to go slower. And so we do really want to pay attention to that. The next one is your temperatures. What we saw was that, again, 10,000 cases. It was a requirement that you did your BBTs to be my patient. It was say, like, I don't want to do my BBTs, it's too stressful. I would get out my prescription pad and they would say, What are you doing? And I said, I'm writing a prescription for an acupuncturist who doesn't care as much as I do. Because if I don't have your BBTs, I cannot, in good faith, really drive your treatment plan. I need to see those temperatures. I want to see the temperatures from ovulation until three days of ovulation. Get to the 98s and stay there until the day before your period. If that is true, you have plenty of progesterone. I will say 93% of you will have perfect progesterone. If it's below, super high risk for miscarriage and low progesterone. Fixing it is not adding supplemental progesterone. Fixing it is figuring out why the temperatures are so low. That's the real trick to fixing the and so we come back to energy, right? If this person's energy is a four out of 10 and their temperatures are low, okay, that's where we're going to start. So we're like, well, we're not even going to worry about the temperatures. Let's work on energy for one month and let's see what happens to the temperatures. That's what you guys deserve. That is real medicine that is actually working on your whole body, your environment, what you eat, what you put on your body, all of those pieces are either synchronous and they're pre-creating a virtuous cycle, or they're blocked and they're stalling it. And then that's stalling the next part of the cycle. Energy production, blood production, hormone production, hormone regulation, blood regulation, temperature regulation, stress modulation. And then that should just be a virtuous cycle that makes each one feeds the next one to make it work better, as opposed to like getting to one and being like, well, we don't have enough energy. There's no blood. There's not resources for blood, there's not resources for hormones. Then there's not resources to regulate them. Then you get PMS, cramping, clotting, hemorrhagic bleeding. To stay pregnant, I like to see four days of bleeding, soaking a tampon or a pad about every four hours, not more, not less, four or five days, no cramping, clotting, or spotting. That is the lining that in 25 years that people were most likely to stick to, especially in IVF cycles. These are the people that when they would have that, I was like, well, definitely if the embryo is fine, you're likely to stay pregnant.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

So then we're talking a lot about women's health. How much of this percentage is men's health, and do they need to be working on their stuff to help with the it's 50% right now.

SPEAKER_00 36:07

Currently, we do not have an offering except for a supplement pack for men, ultra high quality, super targeted supplements for morphology, motility, and count, DNA fragmentation as well. For me, always in medicine, men have come first. Right? We do everything for the men first. We do the easy things for men. And and women, we just get the short end of the stick. And for me, I'll build every single experience, and then I'll build the men's one. Not because I don't like men. I actually love men, and I'm like the girl that men love to be friends with. But I read this book when I was building my clinics, and it was the book is called Never Eat the Burned Toast Again. Do you know what that means? Does that mean anything to you eating the burned toast?

SPEAKER_01 36:48

Yeah, it's giving people the good stuff and then leaving whatever is left for me.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

Yes. And do you do that ever?

SPEAKER_01 36:55

I'm a mom of four. Sorry. Yeah, me too. And I have those moments of like, wait, hold on. Why am I doing this?

SPEAKER_00 37:04

Yeah, I can we can have a whole conversation about the history of the metal cycle and how that like convinced us that we were worthless and what we need to do to change that. But I read that book and I I'm the baby of five, and my mom was very guilty of that. I would see her give us everything that was good and take the worst, or if there wasn't any, or you know, whatever. And I thought everything that I do moving forward is going to be the anti-burn toast for women. Now, sometimes I screw it up because I take on too much and you know things break. But the intention is to build everything is juicy and good and useful and valuable and affordable for women for the first time, for every person with a period to get like the best. And that's really inspiring so that we don't have to eat the burnt toast. But if you resonate with this, you can do an experiment. Anytime you get around man, say, I heard about this book, Never Eat the Burnt Toast. Does that mean anything to you? I went and asked a whole bunch of men, like 25 men, when I read was reading this book, and this was like 25 years ago. So, you know, a little bit different generationally, but every single man was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I've never eaten the burnt toast before. And I was like, Yeah, they don't put up with it. My best friend yesterday had a bad mammogram, and I went with her to the doctor because they're going to do a biopsy. And they wouldn't let me come back. And she she was like, she was, I'm sitting in here in a gown with nine other women, all pooping their pants practically because we're so scared. And she was like, they would never met and make men do this, sit half naked with other women who are just waiting to find out that they have breast cancer. You know what I mean? I was like, they would never do that to men. You know, she's like, she goes, I feel like I'm about to like get gassed in a concentration camp or something. You know, like we're just waiting, like, oh God, how bad is it? You know, she's like, there's no dignity here. These are the kind of things we need to work on because they're all these subtle messages that you don't deserve better. That you don't deserve something different. You don't deserve more dignity. And certainly that's not a condemnation of like every person who works in the industry. It's just this how the system leaves women feeling that we need to really work on. And one way we can do that is to take as much of it online and give that, just be able to control the experience and then still make it affordable and effective.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

I have not experienced, I experienced my first mammogram ever. That was awful. And it left me thinking, wow, if men had to do this, the whole thing would have been different.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

If they put men's testicles in that little squeezy thing to check for like testicular cancer.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Oh, and you have to stand in this awkward position while you're doing this. And don't pass out, please. But don't you dare. And hold your breath. And yeah, the whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 39:40

And it's so flat.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

It's I have like double D's. I'm shocked at how flat they can get. I'm like, oh my god. Oh, it was so triggering for me. Thankfully, my husband was home that day, and I'm just like, just hold me. Come stung with me on the couch and I need a weighted blanket. He was working from home. I'm so grateful he was. It was awful. And I that was just a mammogram. I haven't had like the whole biopsy and all of that. I can only imagine how awful that would be. Oh, because I clicked on the other screen. So I was out of Zoom. So that absolutely makes sense. There's so much data there. A lot of the scientific things that we're told, like how much sleep we're supposed to get, is actually for based off of a study of men, not women. And I feel like it's also and correct me, please, because you work in this, but there's a lot more moving parts with women's health and fertility than there are with men.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

A hundred percent. It's one of the reasons why I rarely recommend acupuncture for fertility anymore. Because there are so many moving pieces. And the honesty is it's not that acupuncture is not good or that it can't be effective. It's expensive, it's time consuming. And the reality is why I think that Kai beat me was that what's more important in getting than getting an acupuncture treatment is what you do every day. Every meal, every food that you eat is either moving you to more fertile, you'll never stay the same. Everything is compounding every day. So every meal that you eat, and this should not freak you out or scare you, you just have an opportunity to like, even if you go to McDonald's, get a side salad. It's not ideal. It's just what you're just saying to yourself and like to the universe is like, I'm moving in the right direction. I don't have to be perfect. If you're out and you really want to have a hamburger, add guacamole. Right? Add some value in there. Add guacamole on the side, add like a little side salad, add some roasted broccoli. Little tiny things. Like have a half of if you want to have a margarita, have a half a margarita. Throw out half of your French fries. Little tiny things that are just saying, like, I don't have to be perfect, but I do want to be moving in a direction of better energy, better clarity. It's about getting free. The job of Conceivable is to liberate women from everything that is holding them back from having all the access to power in the world that they need. And the place we have to start is health. But when we don't feel good, and as someone who's been chronically ill my whole life, it's like when I'm not feeling unwell, I can do the work of a thousand men, right? But when I don't feel good, I'm pretty burned out and slow. Luckily, I can catch up once I feel better. And now I use a lot of AI, which helps me to work even if I don't feel well. And so we want to be really looking at how we can keep looking for all of those things that keep us from having access to the life that we want.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

Yeah. And the nice thing about an app is you get the notifications, you have the accountability partner of like, here you go, here's the things that you need to do. And we live in such a society, especially now, where we have too much information available to us.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

And the wrong and inaccurate information. Yeah. All these people who are taking ovacital who are trying to get pregnant, like, I'm like, you know, that's hurting your fertility. Like, not only neutral, it actually hurts your fertility. So we have to be really careful.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

Okay, so conceivables is your business name. How else do we find you, especially for you're on TikTok daily? How can we find you on TikTok?

SPEAKER_00 43:05

So I have two different channels. There'll be a bunch of channels for conceivable because all the care team are going to have their own TikToks. So Olive will be talking about food for fertility. And Saren will be talking about how to cope with the stress and grief and anxiety associated with fertility and so on and so on. But currently you can find me at your fertility expert or conceivable slash fertility. And it should have like 200,000 followers. A bunch of people are pirating my content. So if you see like your fertility expert, there might be like a period in there. They try and sneak it. And then what they do is they reach out to people and try and sell them psychic readings. So just make sure that you're on my right channel. As of tomorrow, we have something cool that'll be on the tomorrow, the next day. It'll be up by the time you guys hear this. There'll be basically a thing on the website where it says text Kai. And you just hit the button, it'll open up Messenger and it'll say hi Kai, and then you can just start. Talking to Kai, and if you want her to help you make a supplement pack where the app is not ready, you can still talk to Kai or do the quiz on the website and get personalized packs. And I really encourage everyone to do it because it has been a real labor of love for me. We used to have a full line of clinical grade supplements like metagenics thorn, that's kind of the quality of our supplement. Because I need outcomes. I need what I do to work so that I can take our data, our success data to your insurance company and get your insurance to pay for this for you. So you can get supplements, you can get a ring, everything for free. That's going to take a year, so don't wait for that. But we need it to work. So people were saying, well, you know, with the super high quality supplements, it was if I said I have six or seven things I want you to be taking, it would be six or seven hundred dollars, which is sort of antithetical to her whole goal of making everything affordable. We finally found a manufacturer who kind of did a deal with us just to try and help us to do this. We only take a 10% margin on our supplements. And again, this is banking on that you're gonna see the difference. Taking supplements from the grocery store is like getting your protein from a slim gym from the dollar store. You're like, I'm getting 100 grams of protein. I mean, I eat like 11 of the slim gems from the dollar store. It only cost me $10. Or if suddenly I gave you a week's worth of Waigoo steak and Waigu bone broth, what do you think would happen? Right? Huge difference. No comparison. You'd be like, you start waking, be like, wow, I am feeling like awake. Like my brain is working, I have energy, there's nutrients in my cells. And that's the difference. So all you have to do is just go to the website at conceal.com. You can either text Kai to do it, and that'll be more conversational. Or if you take the quiz, it's more like you can do that today. And then she's gonna help you to say, like, okay, I have three packs, like depending on your budget, like here's the most important, here's the next important ones, and here's the most, like, here's the jumbo pack. And then you can just choose, you can talk to Kai there and ask her questions. You'd be like, Oh, I don't like COVID Q10 because it gives me palpitations. She'll swap it out for you. Even the jumbo pack for eight supplements is $109. And we can customize a prenatal in there for you, too. So if you're not taking a prenatal, or if you're taking a gross grocery store or a target prenatal that is not gonna give you what you need, you can let Kai know and she'll just build a prenatal based on not only like how to have a good prenatal, but like what are the other things that in your prenatal should be there?

SPEAKER_01 46:18

So it's more individualized.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

It's ultra-individualized, like everything, because that's why we're able to like, how did you get those results? I'm like, because we personalize every single thing. There is not one generic thing in there except for the introductions. Like, this is why energy is important, this is why blood's important.

SPEAKER_01 46:37

That makes a huge difference. I've gone to chiropractors' offices, which is alternative medicine, and they even have some of them, not all of them. My favorite chiropractors' offices really see me as an individual in my needs, but some of them is very assembly line, and they're not really looking at the underlying stuff, and you're just going through their protocol no matter what, and that doesn't work.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

Yeah, I don't feel and you'll spend a fortune of time and money.

SPEAKER_01 47:06

And for me, I have four kids, so time is important to me.

SPEAKER_00 47:09

And money too, because you have four, you're gonna have to educate all those guys.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

And when we go to traditional western medicine, it's very much they're not really looking at you as an individual. If you have a really good doctor, they can be, but they still have the medical experience that is not individualized. It's a big difference. So I like the idea of having an app that can really know my individual needs. And that's something that I've been on my path with my own health, is getting that together now that I'm in the closer to the perimenopause phase of life. Of okay, now I want to have it individualized versus okay, I have a lot of needs here because I want to optimize my life. I want to live well, and I want to live a long time living well. And I want to have such a good example of living well that it shows up within my family and then with the clients that I coach. So, how do I do this? And I love that you are offering this for so many other people and that it's at a reasonable cost, and also with vitamins that actually do what they say they do. One of my other goals with my time and money is I would love to work on changing laws so that vitamins are treated the same as medicine in that they are actually tested regularly, and what they say is in there is in there, and the efficacy is actually as effective as it says. But that would be like decades worth of getting this to happen. So I like that you have done so much of the front-end work on that.

SPEAKER_00 48:56

It's about sourcing. Omegas are really beneficial for most people and super anti-inflammatory. There's so many benefits, especially if it's well formulated. But if it's like a $30 omega, I guarantee you that has not been refrigerated. It's fish oil, right? So you have to think about where did they get it? If they're selling it to you for $30, their price has to be about $2. Our old price for our omega was like $39, right? So it's just not even saying it needs to be refrigerated in the warehouse. Like our warehouse was in Florida. So if I had a shipment of omegas, even if it came from where the waters were really clean and pure, like Chile, where some of the cleanest waters on the planet, that's where we source our from. If it doesn't go in a refrigerated warehouse and it sits there through the summer in Florida, it's rancid. And now it is gone from something that should be anti-inflammatory to something that now causes inflammation. So you're paying 30 bucks thinking like this is gonna do it, when actually you're hurting your fertility because you're it's pro-inflammatory.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

The equipment. How's the equipment? What's the quality of that? Does it contain lead?

SPEAKER_00 50:02

Yeah, and the processing. Well, also because it's like in some third world countries, you know, you can source like basically fish hot dog meat, and that's what they make really cheap omegas from highly polluted waters that nobody else wants the fish from because they're too polluted. Some things like like creatine, you don't need anything fancy. Buy that on Amazon, like the cheapest one you can get. I haven't seen any data to see any benefit. Melatonin, who cares? Get the one that's 250 off Amazon. Like you don't need it. Don't take melatonin if you're trying to get pregnant, though, because it can disrupt ovulation. We only use it, it's a super antioxidant, so it is beneficial, but it can disrupt ovulation. So you want to look at all of those things. And on that same line, the main things that people are taking that they shouldn't take that are likely to be hurting their fertility or health, ovacetol, unless you have diagnosed high testosterone, ovacetol will give you low testosterone because the job of the dechyro in it is to lower your testosterone, which is why if you have PCUS and high testosterone, it seems like a miracle. That's only 2% of the population. But every creator on TikTok is like, ovacytol, 40 to 1 combination. Like, that's just read the data. And they will argue with me. They're like, you don't know what you're talking about. Like, I don't know, show me one study that shows that dechyro inostatol is beneficial for testosterone, none or egg quality. And the other one is geritol. It is not a baby in a bottle. I have seen so many creators like Geritol, it's a baby in the bottle. You take one ball of this and it'll definitely have a baby. I'm like, first of all, as soon as you see something like that, swipe, that is not nothing is the baby in a bottle. This is not even possible. I own a supplement company. If there was a baby in a bottle, I'd be manufacturing it. Geritol has gotten some people pregnant because probably they were very anemic or very undernourished. It has an old people supplement, has a lot of iron in it. And if you have normal iron or you're taking a high quality prenatal that has enough iron in it, you're overdosing on iron. And we don't get rid of iron like we do vitamin C. It's not water soluble, so it's square housed in our body, which is not useful for your health and fertility. Vitex is the other one. And people are always so surprised because everybody loves Vitex. Vitex is not considered safe in pregnancy. So if you take Vitex to try to get pregnant, it will make things look better. And then as soon as you get pregnant, you need to stop taking the Vitex, and then people almost immediately miscarry. Because Vitex is like a band-aid, it makes things look really good. It helps like the progesterone starts to look better, the cycle looks a little bit regular. But what you'll see is as soon as you take people off Vivitex, even if they're not pregnant already, the symptoms the next month pretty much go back to how they were, which tells us it had no therapeutic effect. It's just a band-aid. And I don't want band-aids. That's just we can figure out what the problems are and fix it. It's not even that hard. Like, why would we not do it? Once you have the playbook, you just follow the playbook and 15 minutes a day, you'll start seeing improvement.

SPEAKER_01 52:47

Well, it just goes back to so many things that you hit on are lifestyle changes that should be for the rest of your life, not just for fertility.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

Well, because you want to, you know, you wanna, those lifestyle changes. Hopefully, I always hope it takes people four months to get pregnant because in four months we've actually changed their habits. And then they're pregnant, and then they want to stay pregnant, and then they are really motivated to do things to stay pregnant. And by the time they deliver their baby, they've been kind of taking care of their bodies in a new way. And now that is pretty ingrained, and now they have a new baby and they're tired, and that's time when you want to fall off. But then in the app, what we're helping them is build the whole structure of support so that when you either if you have your baby home or come home from the hospital, that we have a support system set up for you at home so that you can continue to care for yourself in a way that helps you to be successful and not get secondary infertility.

SPEAKER_01 53:37

And that's what I struggled with at first and then secondary.

SPEAKER_00 53:41

Yeah, because probably you got pregnant. Think of your fertility on a continuum, not fertile or infertile, but more or less fertile. Think of the conceivable score. Maybe your conceivable score was like 20 when you got pregnant the first time, and then you like squeaked it out, but then you made a human. You made a human out of you. And people forget how resource-dependent that is. And then you got the human out, either by c-section or delivery, 24 hours pushing, you know, all that good stuff.

SPEAKER_01 54:09

I did, and then I had a vaginal tear and I hemorrhaged for hours afterwards. So then your conceivable score issues afterwards.

SPEAKER_00 54:15

So yeah, your conceivable score went from 20 to zero, right? Then we have to build that back up to restore your fertility.

unknown 54:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:23

Which looking back now, it totally makes sense. But at the time, that's not what I wanted. I planned to have two close together, a nice gap, two close together. It's not what happened. There's one nice gap, and then boom, boom, boom, to get the rest of them out.

SPEAKER_00 54:37

Like once you got it fixed, you're like, I'm a baby maker now.

SPEAKER_01 54:40

The third one was a surprise. We always wanted four, but with the fertility issues, the miscarriages, and she screamed instead of slept. We're like, maybe we'll be done. And that same week that we were both like, yep, let's be done. He's like, nope, nope, you're not done. I'm coming. And it matches his personality today. And then we were always told by people who have kids, don't have odd numbers. So it's like, oh, maybe we'll have finally have our four. And we did. Now we can be done. Close that chapter, but they're still and what we've been talking about is the things that I was doing to make sure that I was healthy, especially while pregnant and nursing, continue doing those for myself. Because now my kids are dependent on me in a different way, right? But eventually they're not going to be. And I don't want to wait until they're not going to be dependent on me to finally take care of myself because then things are chronic.

SPEAKER_00 55:38

Well, plus, if you don't take care of yourself, it's hard to be the kind of mother that you want to be. That's my experience. When I don't feel good, I don't make as good of choices. And when I'm not resourced, I don't make as good of choices. We have an idea of who we want to show up for our children as. But when we're exhausted, we don't feel good, we're stressed, we're undernourished, it's really hard because kids are annoying. They are. I love them so much, but they are hard and annoying and delightful and beautiful and funny. But it's a bag for sure. No, I have been working for eight years building this algorithm. It is really flipping complicated. It was not even fractionally as hard as raising children.

SPEAKER_01 56:17

And you know, honestly, when you are not doing well, you don't even like yourself. Alone, showing up for other people. But you can be your own worst critic and just hate just being alone with yourself.

SPEAKER_00 56:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:32

If you're not taking care of yourself in a really good way. What kind of example are we to our children if we're not showing ourselves that love?

SPEAKER_00 56:41

Yeah, like again, like they always say, you know, your kids don't listen to what you say, they watch what you do. And especially for moms, I talk to so many women who are like, you know, I'm like, tell me about your day. And they say, Well, I get up at four o'clock in the morning to go exercise before my kids get up, and then I come home and make breakfast for my kids, and then I get my kids dressed, then I take them to school, then I go to work, and then I work through lunch so that I can leave an hour early, so I can pick my kid up, and then I go to the grocery store with the kids, and then that's hell. And then I make dinner, and then I do all the laundry, and then I get in bed at nine o'clock and go to sleep. I'm like, that's every day. Do you really want to model that for your kids? Do you want your daughter to have your life? This is a hard conversation because we live in a society that everybody is looking at everybody else, trying to have everything that everybody else has, and that's what drives this. The more that we can separate from that need to have stuff, to buy a bunch of stuff, especially when you have kids, you just want to buy them everything, you know, but it's not good for them. It isn't good for them. It's good for them to have responsibilities. And that's the first thing I always do when I'm coaching people is like, okay, you have three kids, so we're gonna put everybody on a chore wheel because you should be the queen. You're the baby maker, you're the human maker. That's your only job. And everybody else, you're like the CEO of the house. And that the CEO doesn't do all the work. The CEO is like the flight attendant, and that's the way to get around that, and also to get your parents involved if they live local, because often they will help, not always. And yeah, there's a long way.

SPEAKER_01 58:13

And I didn't realize how much pain I would be in from being in labor for that long. Everything hurts.

SPEAKER_00 58:22

And then I'm it was like doing crossfit for 24 hours, you know.

SPEAKER_01 58:25

Oh, I felt like I was run over and backed up run over again, and now you want me to care for this child, and I'm the only one who can do it because I decided to breastfeed, and I have to wake up every two hours when my body just really needs to sleep for like 10 hours to fully recover.

SPEAKER_00 58:41

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:42

So we definitely need to focus more on having a village, but we are told that we need to do it all, and in order to get it all done, we just need to run faster. We'll work out if we just run faster. And then we wonder why we're sick.

SPEAKER_00 58:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:58

Well, for all of you who are listening, I'm sure you're ready to be done. Please share this around. We know so many people who are struggling in silence around fertility and maybe are talking about their fertility journey and doing IVF, but they maybe have to take a second mortgage out to even do it. It's expensive, it's time consuming, it's super emotional.

SPEAKER_00 59:22

And nobody wants to get pregnant with IVF, they just want to have sex with their partner. I mean, sometimes we have to, right? But I'm glad that it's an option. But, you know, most people, that's not how they dream about starting their family. And the reality is, I, you know, I think a significant portion of you can get pregnant naturally, no matter how bad it, you know, as long as you're not 45 years old or your AMH is 0.001 or there's completely blocked tubes, I can't really do anything about that.

SPEAKER_01 59:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:48

Well, I'm the one to lobby. We're going to lobby at the state capitol today for affordable health care.

SPEAKER_01 59:54

Oh, yes, please. Thank you so much for being on, and I look forward to talking to you again.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:00

Me too. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:04

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope that you found the answers that you needed and you had some amazing aha moments. Please share this episode with others because it helps us align ourselves and then better align the world so that we can seek the healing that we really are looking for. As part of the legal language, I am a certified life coach with a bachelor's in applied health. That is what I am leaning on for this. This is general advice taken aside. See you in the next episode.